Daphne: Well, I think you make a lovely couple. Even though Niles can't believe you're dating a gym teacher. He says it's a betrayal of your younger selves.
Frasier: Yes, it's perfectly understandable. We didn't have much luck with gym teachers when we were kids. They were always so derisive and ego-crippling. There was this one in particular, Coach Fuller. He was the worst. The kind of man that would make the whole class wait while you did your push-up. It was so traumatizing, you know, I would actually lose my lunch before gym period. Except on those days when my lunch money was stolen. Then I'd just dry heave.

Frasier: You all right?
Roz: Well, I was fine until I saw Julia in the parking lot. Why does she have to come here?
Frasier: For God's sake, Roz, I'm a little tired of hearing you complain about Julia all the time. Why don't you just give her a chance?
Roz: How about her? I've been working with her for over a month and she shows me no respect. She's mean and arrogant, but not in a funny way like you.

Frasier: Ooh, Niles, sorry I'm late. Did you sign us up?
Niles: Um, Frasier, I've been thinking. How many years have we teamed up for the squash tournament, only to be eliminated in the second round?
Frasier: Nine.
Niles: Don't you think it's time we came up with a new strategy?
Frasier: Niles, if you're talking about taking that powder that's made from sheep's glands, the answer is never again.

Chelsea: Hi, Frasier. Chelsea Gray. We met a few months ago.
Frasier: Oh, yes! [They shake hands vigorously.]
Chelsea: You were kicking the Gatorade machine.
Frasier: Of course, I remember. I had inserted my dollar bill with Washington's face up as per the diagram and was vended nothing.
Chelsea: Did you ever write that letter?
Frasier: Indeed I did. The matter still pends.

Niles: You know, Jim and I may have our own trophy soon. We're still alive in the men's doubles bracket.
Frasier: Oh, please. Niles, your partner couldn't be carrying you any more if he put you in a Snugli and strapped you to his stomach.

Niles: You know, Dad, when Jim and I win our trophies, I'm going to give mine to you.
Martin: Thank you son. But I don't want you moping around here if your brother wins one and you don't.
Niles: Oh, please, Dad, I'm a little more mature than that.
Martin: No, you're not. It still bugs you that his name comes first alphabetically.
Niles: Well, that was your fault.

Daphne: Frasier, Niles has something he needs to tell you. Go on, tell him. I'm sick of hearing you complain.
Niles: I made a mistake partnering with Jim. Our styles never really meshed, which wasn't my fault, but that didn't stop him from losing his temper during a match, and he yelled at me. With you, it was different. You brought honor to the game. Rejoin me, Frasier, and together we can [his voice breaks] rekindle the magic.
Daphne: Please, take him back. I cannot listen to another draft of this speech. I'll see you at home, sweetie.

Roz: Well, this isn't so bad.
Julia: No, it's not. Maybe we just got off on the wrong foot.
Roz: Well, when you first started, you know, I just thought you were kind of a bitch for ordering everybody around.
Julia: That's totally my fault. I have a tendency to be patronizing to, um, entry-level employees.
Roz: You know, I was going to say something earlier, but when I heard your first show, I figured you wouldn't be here long.
Julia: Well, you certainly made an impression on me. I remember, I kept thinking: "Who did she sleep with to get this job?" And then I found out. Everybody.
Roz: That's a good one. You know, there's a plunger in the bathroom, what do you say we go look for your career?
Julia: Great. While we're in there I can get your phone number.
Roz: Don't bother, it's 1-800-BITE ME.
Julia: "Bite me," that's the best that you've got?
Roz: Oh, I could spend half an hour on your hair.
Julia: Well, you should have spent half an hour on your hair.
Roz: Oh, really?
Waitress: It's closing time, ladies. I'm afraid you'll have to leave.
Roz: But we're just warming up.
Julia: You know, there's a place down the street that, uh, is open all night.
Roz: Just like your mouth?
Julia: Just like your legs?

Frasier: You know, when I heard you shouting at that little girl today, I swear, it just brought back a flood of memories from my own childhood.
Chelsea: Really?
Frasier: Oh, yeah. You know, my gym teacher was constantly yelling at me because I couldn't do a single pull-up, or a lap around the track.
Chelsea: Not even one?
Frasier: Oh, please. I was a very late bloomer. I could barely do a jumping jack without getting a nosebleed. And let's not begin to talk about the climbing rope.

Frasier: You know, I just wish you'd told me sooner instead of waiting until the last minute. Does Jim know you're passive-aggressive?