Martin: Hey Niles, try this pancake. Claire had them crumble the bacon right into the batter.
Niles: Oh, I don't really like pancakes.
Martin: Well, that's 'cause you're used to Daphne's. Here.
Niles: Oh, those are magnificent.
Martin: Yeah. And Claire invented them.
Daphne: Yes, no doubt on the seventh day while you were resting.

Niles: Excuse me, miss, do you have the time?
Roz: Yes, it's- [looking up, double-take] Niles?
Niles: [Jamaican accent] Ya, mon!
Roz: You look... did you get hit on the head by a coconut?
Niles: The coconut of revelation. I discovered a whole new side of myself in Belize, and I'm not going to abandon Island Niles just 'cause my vacation's over.
Roz: Well, Island Niles might want to rethink the short pants.
Niles: Island Niles would prefer not to wear pants at all.

Kristi: You told me not to come because this was just gonna be some boring party with your mom's friends.
Kirby: Roz is my mom's friend
Kristi: She was your prom date!
Kirby: Damn, baby, why you got to be this way? I'm trying to show you respect by keeping you from seeing my other lady.
Roz: I was never his lady!
Kirby: Damn, baby, that's cold.
Kristi: She's old enough to be your mother, practically.
Roz: Damn, baby, now that's cold.

Daphne: What happened to my noble savage?
Niles: I'll tell you what happened. Roz told me about this wonderful nude beach, so I went down there this
morning to check it out for us. Well, it was so peaceful I decided to do my sunrise Tai Chi, have my naked body caressed by the rosy fingers of the new dawn, you know?
Martin: Oh, jeez.
Niles: Well, I left my clothing and my cares in the car, walked down to the beach and settled in for my first exercise, "Grasping the Bird's Tail." Just at that moment, the sun peeked over the mountaintops, illuminating not only my splendid nakedness, but the bus for the Christian Women's Society.
Martin: They went to a nude beach?
Niles: No, and neither did I. Uh, the next few minutes are a blur, as I zig-zagged my way back to the car, while being pelted with driftwood and Bibles. Needless to say, Island Niles died on that beach.
Daphne: Oh, honey. Will he ever be back?
Niles: Maybe at Christmas.

Frasier: Well, Roz, you'll be pleased to know I have come to a decision. Claire it is. So long, Lana.
Roz: Are you sure?
Frasier: Trust me, Roz. The brain is racked, the soul is searched, the window is closed. Claire in, Lana out.

Guy: Have you been waiting here long?
Frasier: Time is irrelevant here in the Seventh Circle of Hell. A place where even despair dies. Prepare yourself for a lifetime...
Guy: Oh, here it is.
Frasier: Oh, well, how nice for you.

Daphne: How's my natural man?
Niles: Mmm, as hungry as I am hairy.
Claire: No kidding, that goatee sure came in fast.
Niles: I know. I credit the hothouse atmosphere of this tropical paradise. That and our nearly constant nudity. Gone is the citified dandy of just last week. In his place stands a feral Caliban, a sandy-bottomed Dionysius, a lusty, insatiable- Ooh, scones!

Martin: We better get going, Daph. We got fish to pack. Oh, and I didn't fillet 'em, because Claire said you can use the heads for soup.
Daphne: Well, when I'm chopping them off, I'll be thinking of her.

Frasier: Niles, listen, I didn't want to say anything in front of the others, but I find myself in a bit of a quandary. Well, it's not so much a quandary, really, it's more of, uh, a pickle. Well, not so much a pickle, but well, but, no more than a, a... a cornichon.
Niles: What is it?
Frasier: I think I want to be with Lana, not Claire.
Niles: Forgive me, Frasier, but that's one big-ass cornichon.

Frasier: It's true. But you see, I don't want to feel like I'm leading her on. Maybe I should just tell her what I'm going through. You know, be completely honest.
[later:]
Cleaning Guy: Whoa, that's just what you don't want to do.
Frasier: So, you vote for Claire?
Cleaning Guy: I don't know. Lana has her good points. And don't underestimate the crush you had on her in 11th grade. But Claire can give you sophisticated conversation. And she leaves a clean area. I don't envy you your choice. Lift your feet, please.