Lilith: Niles, I'm afraid with this interview, I'm running a little behind schedule. So, I'm enlisting you to help with the turkey.
Niles: Oh, well, I've never cooked a turkey before, but the recipe's here, I guess I can fumble my way through. How far along are you?
Lilith: I'm nearly done defrosting.
Niles: And the turkey?

Frasier: All right, now, when you mist the plants, be sure that the water is not too cold. I know I'm harping on and on about this, but I know you're not used to dealing with delicate flowers.
Roz: I've produced your show for three years, haven't I?

Martin: Why does Lilith have to tag along anyway?
Frasier: Well, she just didn't want to spend the holiday alone. Her husband is off in New Zealand, exploring a volcano.
Martin: Why couldn't she go with him?
Niles: Well, because if she accidentally fell in, the shock wave from the hottest thing in nature meeting the coldest would actually crack the Earth in two.
Frasier: As if a smile from Maris couldn't freeze Mercury.
Martin: Guys, let it go. Nobody's going to win this one.

Martin: I still don't know how it happened. I lobbed it right to him.
Niles: Oh, when are you going to learn, Dad? The only thing the Crane boys are skilled at catching is sarcastic nuance and the occasional virus.

Martin: Nice neighborhood. Noticed a whole bunch of kids Freddie's age playing in the street.
Lilith: Yes, he's spent many happy hours at his window observing their play patterns.

Frasier: You know, Lilith, there's just one question I wished we'd answered differently.
Lilith: Which one?
Frasier: Remember when he mentioned that Frederick was being courted by other schools? I wonder if we shouldn't have made it clear that Marbury is far and away our first choice.
Lilith: Frasier, if you over-analyze every detail, you will rob us of the joy of the moment. It will be our wedding night all over again.

Daphne: If you change the paper towels, he likes the flap facing the front. If you change the bathroom tissue, the flap faces the back. Don't ask me why.
Roz: I don't know how you live with him.
Daphne: Huh, I don't know how you work with him.
Roz: Well, I have learned a trick: when he's really bugging me, I ask if he hasn't lost a little weight. Before you know it, he's checking his butt out in the glass of the candy machine.
Daphne: Really? I tell him he's gained weight. He skips dinner, sulks in his room, and I have the whole evening to myself.

Frasier: I'll leave you our number at Niles' cabin, in case anything goes wrong. Oh, yes, and by the way, I frown on overnight guests.
Roz: Then you're not doing it right.

Frasier: Ah, yes, Dr. Campbell, I hope we're not disturbing anything important.
Dr. Campbell: Well, actually, I'm a bit frazzled trying to get my Thanksgiving dinner together.
Lilith: I'm afraid I lost an earring here this morning.
Dr. Campbell: Oh. Well, I'll have a look around and call you if it turns up.
Frasier: Well, um...
Lilith: Do you think I might be able to take a peek right now? I wouldn't even think of asking, but it was a treasured gift from ... Golda Meir.

Niles: Hello? Yes, Buck? It's Dr. Crane. I'm calling to see if the cabin is ready for us. You've got the case of Montrachet? Good, good. And the Thanksgiving feast will be delivered promptly at three? Good. And the woodpile's been thoroughly inspected for spiders? Excellent! Thank you. [Hangs up] Well, we're ready to rough it in the great Northwest!