Frasier: Gosh, Niles, you making that basket tonight was truly astonishing. And what's even more unbelievable is that you are now the proud owner of a rugged, ram-tough, all-terrain pickup truck.
Niles: It occurred to me we could use it to go antiquing.

Frasier: And to think I was going to offer you these basketball tickets.
Roz: Well, can't use 'em anyway. I have a date with this French guy.
Frasier: So that's it, huh? No Americans left.

Frasier: Oh Roz, to what to I owe the pleasure?
Roz: A messenger delivered this for you after you left. It's marked "Personal and Confidential." I thought it might be important. [Frasier holds the envelope up to the light] Oh, I already tried that. Forget it. We could use some brighter bulbs at the office.
Frasier: Yes, well, a brighter bulb wouldn't have admitted it.

Roz: That's very funny. You know, I hope it goes well, because he doesn't speak any English, and the only French I know is "oui" and "non."
Frasier: I suppose you'll just be using one of those.
Roz: Before you get too clever, you're the one who's going out with his brother.
Frasier: Have a nice date, Roz.

Niles: This is like those family road trips Dad used to drag us on. Uncomfortable seats, sticky floors, underlying threat of violence.
Frasier: However did we get through those?
Niles: Games, mostly. License plate spotting, I Spy, throwing up.
Frasier: No, Niles, that wouldn't be so much a game as an activity.

Frasier: I spy, with my little eye, something beginning with "V."
Niles: Vagabonds?
Frasier: No.
Niles: Vittles.
Frasier: No.
Niles: Vienna sausages.
Frasier: Where do you see Vienna sausages?
Niles: Well, I thought maybe that vendor might... Oh, oh! Vendor, vendor!
Frasier: Excellent, Niles.

Frasier: Your turn.
Niles: I spy, with my little eye-
Martin: Would you cut it out, I'm trying to watch the game!
Frasier: We're just playing I Spy, Dad.
Martin: I know, and it's distracting.
Niles: Well, we used to do it all the time on family vacations.
Martin: And it was distracting then, so cut it out, or it'll end up like our family trip to Arizona.
Niles: You mean you'll turn around in your seat and almost drive the arena into the Grand Canyon?

Niles: Switch seats with me.
Fan: Come on, hustle! Let's see a little ball movement!
Frasier: I'm going to say no.
Niles: Well, there's no way I'm enduring this for... however long this thing lasts. I know. Dad, Dad, I'm sorry, uh, my leg is getting a little stiff. Would you mind switching seats with me so I can stretch it out?
Martin: Oh, stiff leg, huh? Must have been that bullet you had pumped into you while stopping a robbery. Oh no, wait, that was me.

Niles: I just haven't done a lot of basketballing. I might be a tad nervous.

Frasier: Thank God we switched seats. I mean, that could be me down there. Poor Niles.
Martin: What do you mean? Every guy dreams of a chance like this.
Frasier: Dream or not, Dad, eventually he's going to try to take that shot. You know how Niles throws.
Martin: Yeah, and you're Pete Maravich.
Frasier: I don't know what that means.