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Death Becomes Him

‘Death Becomes Him’

Season 1, Episode 11 -  Aired December 2, 1993

Frasier begins to obsess about his own mortality when a man of similar description to himself just drops dead one day.

Quote from Frasier

Gail: [crying] I'm sorry about this. It's just, when I went to pick up this linseed tort I thought of Gary and-
Frasier: Oh? So Gary had a fondness for fattening desserts, did he?
Gail: Oh. You didn't know Gary very well, did you? If he knew I brought this here, he'd kill me.
Allen: Yeah, Gary was a total health fanatic, a strict vegetarian. I used to play basketball with him every Sunday.
Frasier: Oh. Oh, so he was sedentary all week, then he was burning up the court on Sundays. Well, I mean, that can be very straining on the heart.
Bobbie: No, he played at least four times a week. That is, when he wasn't at the gym working out.
Gail: Gary was in phenomenal shape.
Bobbie: He didn't smoke. He never touched caffeine.
Allen: Did you know he had less than 10 percent body fat on him?
Frasier: My goodness. Has anybody checked to see if he's really dead? [Gail starts crying again] I'm sure they did check, those people are very thorough.


Quote from Niles

Daphne: Now now, we'll have none of that. We women have been poked and prodded by male doctors for centuries. I say it's high time you gents went to see a doctor of the opposite sex. See how you like waiting in that room, sitting there all naked and helpless and goose-bumpy.
Frasier: Niles, surely you could recommend someone?
[Niles is staring at Daphne]
Frasier: Niles!
Niles: I'm sorry, my mind was somewhere else.

Quote from Roz

Frasier: Roz, how can you say that? My God, this was not an old man, he was my age.
Roz: What am I supposed to say? I guess I don't think of these things like you do. Maybe it's because you're forty-one and I'm [laughs] not.
Frasier: Don't you ever think about you're own mortality? Don't you ever think about dying?
Roz: Well, not me dying, but you know what I have thought about lately? I've been dating this older guy, and what if ... you know? We were in bed together and he dropped dead? Well, it's not out of the realm of possibility. Sometimes he starts breathing very funny and I don't know if he's having a good time or if I've overexcited him to some dangerous level.
Frasier: Someone certainly has a very high opinion of herself.
Roz: Everybody's good at something.
Frasier: Why is it that every time we try to have a serious discussion, we end up talking about your sex life?
Roz: Because I have one.

Quote from Niles

Niles: Frasier, you know Dad's intense aversion to doctors, you should have seen that he got there.
Frasier: Yes, well I didn't see you volunteering this afternoon.
Niles: Well, I couldn't. I had my "fear of abandonment" workshop today, and I've already been a no-show twice.

Quote from Niles

Daphne: Oh, stop grumbling. It won't be so bad. Well, unless you have to parade around the office in one of those gowns where your little bum peeks through the back.
Frasier: So, Niles, what's Dr. Newman's number?
[Niles is distracted again]
Frasier: Niles? Niles!
Niles: I'm sorry, I must have drifted off again.

Quote from Martin

Frasier: Dad, please, shh. I'm trying to listen to my heartbeat. Amazing thing, the human heart. You know, it can pump eighteen hundred gallons of blood through it each and every day, but just the tiniest tear in the tiniest part of the tiniest artery and "poof," you're gone.
Martin: I thought you were all okay about this stuff now.
Frasier: Oh, so did I. What is the matter with me? I thought that putting my affairs in order would help me to deal with this thing, but it hasn't. I- I can't seem to get over the feeling that no matter how remote the possibility, something could happen to me. Jeez, I'd miss so much. I'd never get to see my son hit his first home run. It'd be a terrible thing for a father to miss.
Martin: Tell me about it.

Quote from Daphne

Martin: This is crazy. I'm not going to start putting my name on your stuff.
Frasier: Dad, what happens if I die tomorrow, you and Niles end up in an argument about, well, that African mask, for instance?
Martin: It'll never happen. Niles, you can have it.
Niles: I don't want it.
Daphne: Well, don't look at me. I throw a towel over that thing when you're not home.

Quote from Martin

Frasier: Dad, Dad, just relax. Read a magazine. Oh, here, here. Take the Cosmo quiz.
Martin: "Are your nipples sensitive?"
Frasier: Would you mind doing that quietly, it's not an oral exam.
Martin: You haven't seen the second question.

Quote from Martin

Frasier: Dad? I'm afraid the doctor won't be able to make your appointment today.
Martin: Oh, that's just great. These big-shot doctors, they keep you waiting for an hour and then they don't even have the decency to show up! What, play a little slow on the golf course today? That arrogant, inconsiderate jerk!
Frasier: Dad, Dad, Dad. Dr. Newman is dead. He died an hour ago.
Martin: I'm sure he was a good man.

Quote from Martin

Martin: Look, son, let me tell you something. There was this time, a while back, seven or eight of us were on this drug bust. We get the order to go through the front door, and the first guy took one. He was dead before he hit the ground. When you're a cop, you've got to be able to handle things like that, but I- I just couldn't get over it. Every time I had to go in a blind alley, or in a dark building, I just froze. And I knew if I kept being afraid to die, I'd never be able to do my job.
Frasier: So what did you do?
Martin: I just forced myself to forget about it.
Frasier: Just like that?
Martin: Just like that. Next time I came across one of those doors, I went right through it. The fact that I got shot in the hip was purely coincidental.
Frasier: You were this close to helping me there, Dad.

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