Previous Episode Next Episode 
The Ski Lodge

‘The Ski Lodge’

Season 5, Episode 14 -  Aired February 24, 1998

When the Cranes spend a weekend at a romantic ski lodge, everyone gets their signals crossed.

Quote from Frasier

Niles: I suggest we all forget this ever happened, and just go to bed.
Frasier: Oh, wait, wait, wait. Wait, everybody. Let me see if I can get this straight. All the lust coursing through this lodge tonight, all the hormones virtually ricocheting off the walls, and no one... was chasing me? [sighs] See you at breakfast.

Rate

Quote from Martin

Daphne: What do you need that so loud for? I swear you've gone deaf as a post.
Martin: It's just a cold stopping up my ears, I'll be fine.
[Daphne answers the door to Niles, who is on his phone]
Niles: [on the phone] Dear God, man, whose lawyer are you, anyway? No, I will not calm down! They call that a settlement? You call them and turn it down. I said, turn it down, you ninny!
Martin: Geez, you could at least ask nicely.

Quote from Frasier

Frasier: Oh well, good show today, Roz. I particularly thought that-
Roz: Oh my God, there's that Connie from Promotions. Every time she sees me, she hits me up for another charity.
Frasier: You know, Roz, maybe it's time you set some limits. Good lord, how hard can it be to say "no" just once? Oh well, look who I'm talking to.

Quote from Martin

Martin: Wow, look at this place. Nothing like a change of scenery, huh? Where do you suppose the TV is?

Quote from Niles

Niles: Yes. I'm just glad we got here alive. The way you were taking those curves so sharply, poor Annie kept getting thrown up against you.
Frasier: Well, what can I say? I'm a bad driver.
Niles: I grant you she's comely, but don't you find her a tad — what would the polite euphemism be — stupid?
Frasier: Niles, she is just unschooled, like Liza Doolittle. Find her the right Henry Higgins, she'll be ready for a ball in no time.
Niles: Leave it to you to put the "pig" back in "Pygmalion."

Quote from Niles

Guy: Allo.
Niles: Hi.
Guy: Your friend Daphne, she did not like the way Annie was flirting with you.
Niles: No, she didn't, did she?
Guy: In fact, she dragged Annie right off to her bedroom.
Niles: I think I know what that means.
[Girlish laughter comes from Daphne's room]
Guy: I think we both know. Daphne was jealous.
Niles: She was jealous, wasn't she? I don't believe it.
Guy: I am surprised by nothing. You know, I think you did not like Annie's flirting either.
Niles: Oh, was it that obvious?
Guy: Annie is not your, uh, cup of tea?
Niles: Well, just between us, my interests lie elsewhere this weekend.
Guy: Really?

Quote from Frasier

Niles: Daphne wants me.
Frasier: She told you that?
Niles: Well, no. But Annie was flirting with me, and Daphne dragged her off to her room in a jealous rage.
Frasier: No, no, no, Niles, Annie was not flirting with you. She's hot for me.
Niles: I think I know when I'm being flirted with.
Frasier: Oh, please, Niles, for God's sake, you're really beyond the limit sometimes. You're delusional. Next thing, you'll be telling me that Guy's after you.

Quote from Martin

Guy: How do you like your rum?
Martin: Well, it's kind of small, but it's got a nice view.
Guy: [holds up his mug] No, your rum.
Martin: [seeing] Oh, yeah, yeah.
Guy: I wonder if it's clouded my judgment about something. Your son Niles, is it my imagination or is he attracted to—?
Martin: Hold it right there. It's not your imagination. He's got it bad.
Guy: Really?
Martin: Mmm.
Guy: This is not a delicate subject for you?
Martin: Oh, no, no. Niles has had those feelings for years. 'Course, I didn't encourage it during his so-called marriage, but now that he's free, whatever makes him happy. I say go for it!
Guy: You are a wonderful father.

Quote from Martin

Martin: The first time I made this was for your mother. I'd been wanting to pop the question but I was afraid she'd say no. This gave me the nerve to ask her and I got myself a great big "Yes". And that wasn't the only "yes" I got from her that night either. [laughs] Still scares me to think how close I came to chickening out, though. You know, as you get older, it's not the failures you regret, or the times you made an ass of yourself. It's the times you never even tried, when you just lost your nerve.

Quote from Martin

Martin: You're not going to bed already, are you? Oh, all right. Goodnight.
Guy: Enjoy your rum.
Martin: Well, I'd enjoy it more if it had a TV in it.

Page 2