Niles: I suggest we all forget this ever happened, and just go to bed.
Frasier: Oh, wait, wait, wait. Wait, everybody. Let me see if I can get this straight. All the lust coursing through this lodge tonight, all the hormones virtually ricocheting off the walls, and no one... was chasing me? [sighs] See you at breakfast.

Daphne: What do you need that so loud for? I swear you've gone deaf as a post.
Martin: It's just a cold stopping up my ears, I'll be fine.
[Daphne answers the door to Niles, who is on his phone]
Niles: [on the phone] Dear God, man, whose lawyer are you, anyway? No, I will not calm down! They call that a settlement? You call them and turn it down. I said, turn it down, you ninny!
Martin: Geez, you could at least ask nicely.

Frasier: Oh well, good show today, Roz. I particularly thought that-
Roz: Oh my God, there's that Connie from Promotions. Every time she sees me, she hits me up for another charity.
Frasier: You know, Roz, maybe it's time you set some limits. Good lord, how hard can it be to say "no" just once? Oh well, look who I'm talking to.

Martin: Wow, look at this place. Nothing like a change of scenery, huh? Where do you suppose the TV is?

Niles: Yes. I'm just glad we got here alive. The way you were taking those curves so sharply, poor Annie kept getting thrown up against you.
Frasier: Well, what can I say? I'm a bad driver.
Niles: I grant you she's comely, but don't you find her a tad — what would the polite euphemism be — stupid?
Frasier: Niles, she is just unschooled, like Liza Doolittle. Find her the right Henry Higgins, she'll be ready for a ball in no time.
Niles: Leave it to you to put the "pig" back in "Pygmalion."

Guy: Allo.
Niles: Hi.
Guy: Your friend Daphne, she did not like the way Annie was flirting with you.
Niles: No, she didn't, did she?
Guy: In fact, she dragged Annie right off to her bedroom.
Niles: I think I know what that means.
[Girlish laughter comes from Daphne's room]
Guy: I think we both know. Daphne was jealous.
Niles: She was jealous, wasn't she? I don't believe it.
Guy: I am surprised by nothing. You know, I think you did not like Annie's flirting either.
Niles: Oh, was it that obvious?
Guy: Annie is not your, uh, cup of tea?
Niles: Well, just between us, my interests lie elsewhere this weekend.
Guy: Really?

Niles: Daphne wants me.
Frasier: She told you that?
Niles: Well, no. But Annie was flirting with me, and Daphne dragged her off to her room in a jealous rage.
Frasier: No, no, no, Niles, Annie was not flirting with you. She's hot for me.
Niles: I think I know when I'm being flirted with.
Frasier: Oh, please, Niles, for God's sake, you're really beyond the limit sometimes. You're delusional. Next thing, you'll be telling me that Guy's after you.

Guy: How do you like your rum?
Martin: Well, it's kind of small, but it's got a nice view.
Guy: [holds up his mug] No, your rum.
Martin: [seeing] Oh, yeah, yeah.
Guy: I wonder if it's clouded my judgment about something. Your son Niles, is it my imagination or is he attracted to—?
Martin: Hold it right there. It's not your imagination. He's got it bad.
Guy: Really?
Martin: Mmm.
Guy: This is not a delicate subject for you?
Martin: Oh, no, no. Niles has had those feelings for years. 'Course, I didn't encourage it during his so-called marriage, but now that he's free, whatever makes him happy. I say go for it!
Guy: You are a wonderful father.

Martin: You're not going to bed already, are you? Oh, all right. Goodnight.
Guy: Enjoy your rum.
Martin: Well, I'd enjoy it more if it had a TV in it.

Niles: Boy, that was close. I owe you a big one.
Guy: Your room?
Niles: Oh, good point, Guy. She's right next door. She's bound to hear me in there.
Guy: We can go in my room.
Niles: It's much safer. No matter how hard I try, I'm bound to make noise.
Guy: Me too.