Martin: So how did it go? Or should I say, how big a scene did she make?
Niles: Actually, she did quite well. She willingly joined in the ceremonial chanting. When the shaman invited those so inclined to embrace their favorite tree, Maris said the only tree she was willing to embrace was her family tree. Everyone laughed. Well, I laughed. Then it happened. They called for a group hug.
Frasier: Oh, dear.
Niles: Last time I saw her, she was racing towards her Mercedes, emitting a high-pitched shriek that caused the wedding doves to attack one another.

Frasier: Are there no other services you could have performed?
Roz: The only other option was visiting old people in a retirement home.
Frasier: And you chose this?
Niles: Well, think about it. Walking the streets, picking up trash, you can see how Roz would go with the familiar.

Frasier: Yes, well, Niles, there are all different sorts of women in the world. Perhaps if you tiptoed beyond the fringes of your precious circle, cast a wider net..
Niles: Frasier? That woman by the side of the road, spearing trash.
Frasier: Not that wide.
Niles: No, no, no, no. It's Roz!
Frasier: My God, it is.
Niles: If she realizes we've recognized her, she'll be utterly humiliated. Oh, Roz!

Daphne: You know, it's so gratifying to see your father make these little improvements. It's days like this I'm glad that I took this position.
Niles: We're all glad you took this position.

Frasier: Hello, this is Dr. Frasier Crane. How did I help you?
Chet: "Hello, Dr Crane. This is Chet from Whitby Island. I gave you a call last year. I was having problems with low self-esteem."
Frasier: Ah, ah, I see. And did my advice help you to become more assertive?
Chet: "Damn straight. Yeah, now people say I'm downright arrogant. Well, you know what I say? Screw 'em!"
Frasier: Well, perhaps you took my advice just a bit too far.
Chet: "Who the hell are you? Screw you, too!"
Frasier: Well, as I give myself a well-deserved pat on the back, and Chet marches off to invade Poland, let's just go to commercial.

Niles: Hello, Daphne.
Martin: Back from the big wedding in the woods, huh?
Daphne: Oh, yes, and don't you look nice. Except, what's this sticky stuff all over your shoulder here?
Frasier: Did you finally find a date?
Niles: I asked Maris.
Daphne: (examining Niles' jacket) Sap.
Frasier: I think Daphne speaks for us all.

Frasier: Just how the hell did this happen?
Niles: Well, I was desperate for a date, and I, I knew Maris would be lonely this time of year. It's cruise season, she never partakes. She has an absolute terror of buffets.
Frasier: Oh, yes. Legendary smorgaphobia.

Roz: Another one died.
Frasier: What? What happened?
Martin: What's she talkin' about?
Frasier: Oh, Dad, Roz has been doing some community service down at a retirement home. Apparently, for the second time this week one of her charges has died.
Martin: Oh.
Roz: They're calling me "The Angel Of Death" now.

Roz: Hi. I'm Roz.
Moira: I'm Moira. Come in.
Roz: How you feeling today?
Moira: Fine.
Roz: Really? Do you feel okay?
Moira: Yes. Now, do me a favor and hand me those cigarettes, would you?
Roz: You know, these things do come with a warning.
Moira: So do you, darling. I let you in.

Frasier: I was just having one last look at Helen.
Norman: Isn't she beautiful? Such delicate features.
Frasier: They certainly are.