Daphne: Then I dragged him in there yesterday for lunch when I was craving a Bacon Cheeseburger-burger-burger. He liked it so much he insisted we try the Chick 'n' Bucket for dinner. I guess he's got the fast food bug.
Frasier: And which one would that be? E. coli?

Niles: Well, we came to cheer you up with some late night fast food. If anything's gonna make you forget a woman, it's a big Double Juicy.
Daphne: Please, take it. If you don't, he will. I've created a monster. He's already had two chimichangas and a "You Ain't Nothin' But a Corndog".
Niles: All for less than four dollars. Where has this food been all my life?
Frasier: On the end of a coroner's artery scraper!

Martin: She's visiting with her church group from Spokane.
Ronee: Yeah, and if she sees me like dressed this she'd know that I spent the night, and then she'd be carping about it the whole weekend.
Frasier: What, she doesn't approve of pre-marital sex?
Ronee: Judging by the diving bell she wore as a nightgown, she wasn't real big on post-marital sex either.

Ronee: Come on.
Frasier: Well, there's this woman I can't seem to get off of my mind. A woman with a boyfriend.
Ronee: Why don't you just get her drunk and see what happens?
Frasier: You are nothing like my mother.

Martin: Plus, I'm startin' out with one strike against me.
Ronee: Mother still remembers a night he drove me home after babysitting you and Niles, thirty years ago...
Martin: Forty years ago.
Ronee: I'm telling this story. I was all weepy because this guy had just dumped me, and your father put his arm around me, just to be nice. And Mom saw it and she thought he was trying to rob me of my virtue.
Frasier: Oh, that's crazy.
Ronee: I know, like there was anything left to rob.

Betty: Martin.
Martin: Hey, Ronee, we were just talking... wait. Mrs. Lawrence? Wow, you look wonderful! Ronee isn't here at the moment, so why don't I give you a little tour? We can start in the kitchen.
Betty: Still all hands I see.
Martin: Well, Mrs. Lawrence, kitchen's right here. You know, you look the same as you did the last time I saw you.
Betty: What are you saying? That I looked like this at forty?

Niles: Frasier. Whatever plans you have for this evening, cancel them. I'm taking you to a fantastic new restaurant.
Frasier: Well, all right. Where are we going? Chez Paul? Kobu?
Daphne: Burger, Burger, Burger.
Frasier: Dear God, you're serious?
Niles: I know what you're thinking. Not two days ago I was just like you. Too good to walk into any one of their seventy-one convenient locations.

Frasier: Niles, listen, is it possible that this is just a case of transference?
Niles: Oh, interesting. Uh, hmm... a matchmaker's not unlike a therapist. You confide in them, seek guidance. It's only natural you'd develop a little crush on her.
Frasier: Yes, precisely. Now, how many times has a patient fallen for you?
Niles: You first.
Frasier: Oh, don't be such a baby. This is not a competition.
Niles: Eleven.
Frasier: Thirteen. You know, this is really a weight of my shoulders. It's just simple transference. Thank you, Niles.
Niles: Yes, well, I'm glad to be of help. You know, when I said eleven earlier, actually I...
Frasier: Too late, Niles, off you go.

Frasier: So, I understand you're going camping.
Frank: Yeah. I raised some eagle hatchlings when their mother was killed by a hunter and now we're going to go release them in the wild.
Roz: How can you tell when it's time?
Charlotte: Well, one of them ate his landlord's cat.
Roz: Oh.
Frasier: You know, if they're still hungry, my dad has a dog.

Frasier: Wow, Roz, did you feel that? The entire room changed when we walked in. It's like animals in the wild sensing a predator had arrived.
Roz: Good, I like that you're confident.
Frasier: No, I was talking about you.