[flashback to Martin's later days on the police force:]
Frank: You booted a car just to irritate your kid? Now that's a lot of trouble.
Martin: No, the real trouble was getting four guys to lift it and move it closer to the hydrant.

[flashback to the day Martin was shot:]
Martin: Did I tell you Frasier's not coming home for Thanksgiving?
Frank: Yeah, you did.
Martin: Means I'll have to spend it with Maris and Niles. Last time, she didn't even eat anything. She just sucked air through a rice cake. Boy, he sure picked a winner.

Roz: We have Tom on the phone from Woodenville.
Frasier: Hello, Tom. I'm listening.
Tom: [nervously speaking fast] "Thank God, I thought I'd never get through. Dr. Crane, I'm-I have a problem, and I don't know what to do. I'm supposed to get married soon, but I'm having second thoughts. Do you think it's just cold feet, or-or what?"
Frasier: All right, Tom, just calm down, let's work through this thing together, you and I. Are you in love with this girl?
Tom: "Of course. Yes. I, I think."
Frasier: Now remember, Tom, this is the person with whom you'll be spending the rest of your life. That is a long time.
Tom: "It is, isn't it?"
Frasier: Yes. In fact, getting married is probably the biggest decision you will ever make in your life. It requires time, temperance, and thought.
[The wedding march can be heard from Tom's end of the line]
Frasier: Tom, what's that music?
Tom: "Sorry, Dr. Crane. There's no time to talk. I have to tell Monica the bad news."
Frasier: Wait, wait, wait, Tom, no! [dial tone] Oh, dear. Well, if anyone out there happens to know Monica, just tell her to call in on Monday and I'll move her right to the head of the line. Um. Meanwhile, this is Dr. Frasier Crane, saying good day, and good mental health.

Kenny: Please, Roz.
Roz: No way!
Kenny: Come on. I wouldn't be asking you if it wasn't an emergency.
Frasier: Is everything OK?
Kenny: Yeah, fine, good, everything's good. I'm supposed to stop on the way home and pick up some new... underthings for my wife.
Frasier: So?
Kenny: So? Every time I'm in one of those places I start thinking about... You know... Man-and-wife stuff. I turn all red, I start to sweat, I hyperventilate. Try getting somebody to wait on you when you look like that.
Roz: Well, sorry, Kenny, but I am not going to Victoria's Secret for you.
Kenny: Victoria's Secret? Whoa, whoa, Rockefeller, I'm talking Kmart.

Joe: Your cake's ready.
Frasier: Oh, splendid! Well, let's just have a look here. "Congrats"? It's supposed to say, "Congratulations, Dad."
Joe: There wasn't room.
Frasier: People have written the Declaration of Independence on a grain of rice.
Joe: Not with frosting.

Frasier: Listen, my father's starting a new job this evening. This cake is meant to show him how proud we are, how much we care, and that we believe in him, all right? It has to be special.
Joe: If it was so special, how come you ordered the smallest one?
Frasier: We're also having ice cream, if you must know!
Joe: Fine, you can pick it up in half an hour.
Frasier: Thank you. [Joe leaves] Oh, wait! I haven't got half an hour to- Roz?
Roz: You want me to pick up the cake?
Frasier: Oh, bless you. Oh, and listen, could you pick up some ice cream on your way over, too?

Niles: I have a surprise for you.
Daphne: I have a surprise for you, too.
Daphne: Oh my God, tickets to the Billy Joel concert!
Niles: Tickets to the Mongolian Music Festival? That's four solid hours of throat singing!

Niles: So, em, which one shall we attend?
Daphne: Well, it's always been a dream of mine to see Billy Joel live.
Niles: Yes. But has it been a lifelong dream, like my dream of seeing Mongolian throat-singers?
Daphne: Yes, but didn't we just do a "you" thing last week when we went to the opera?
Niles: Yes, but you're forgetting that the next night, we rented Mrs. Doubtfire, which was definitely a "you" movie.
Daphne: Except they didn't have it, so we rented "Tampopo," which I believe we found in the "you" section. And we listened to NPR on the way there and on the way back. Don't think I didn't notice that.
Niles: Well, perhaps I have been a bit piggish lately. We'll see Billy Joel. But-but-but, I am not going in any mosh pit.

[flashback to Martin's later days on the police force:]
Frank: You going to carry that fish around all day?
Martin: Hey, he has a name. That's Eddie.
Frank: Why don't you get yourself a real pet? You know, like a- like a dog?
Martin: Ah, I'm not really a dog person. I just wanted someone in the family I could get along with. Did I tell you Frasier's not coming home for Thanksgiving?
Frank: Yeah, you did.
Martin: And have I told you about my weekly Sunday brunch with Niles and Maris?
Frank: Yeah, you have.
Martin: Well, I'd rather be at church. I'd get more to eat.

Niles: Hey, Frasier, if you're interested, I have two tickets to tonight's throat singing concert.
Frasier: Don't toy with me, Niles.