‘The Show Where Woody Shows Up’
Season 6, Episode 13 - Aired February 4, 1999
When Woody pays an unexpected visit to Seattle for the week, he and Frasier spend an enjoyable evening together. Only, they keep trying to have the same good time again and again.
Quote from Frasier
Frasier: And we're back, let's get straight to the phones. I'm listening.
Woody: "Dr Crane? It's Woody. I'm in Seattle and I'm a little lost."
Frasier: Well, Woody, in today's fast-paced, high-pressure society that's not uncommon. Just why exactly do you feel lost?
Woody: "Well, I've been driving around for about an hour, I can't seem to get out of the airport."
Frasier: Oh, Woody, Woody. Oh well, listeners, this is an old friend of mine from back in Boston. Well, how you
doing there, you old cowpoke?
Woody: "I was doing okay, but all this talk about today's fast-paced, high-pressure world's starting to get me down."
Frasier: Yes, well I have just the cure for that. How about dinner?
Woody: "Sounds great. I'm in town all week. "
Frasier: And I'm free all week. How's tonight?
Woody: "That'd be great. So I hear you're on the radio?"
Frasier: Yes I am, Woody. And so are you.
Woody: "No, no, no. I'm still tending bar at Cheers. Whoo. How do these rumors get started?"
Frasier: Believe it or not, listeners, Woody and I are picking up right where we left off.
Quote from Frasier
Audrey: "So, Dr Crane, I don't see why I should fix the dumb dress when my sister can't even fit into it anymore."
Frasier: Audrey, you borrowed the dress, you tore it. As an old Greek haberdasher once said: "Euripedes, Eumenides." [laughs]
Audrey: "What?"
Frasier: It's just a little joke on the ancient dramatist Euripedes and the mythological Furies.
Audrey: "Huh?"
Frasier: Just fix the dress.
Quote from Frasier
Frasier: Put a bullet in my head.
Martin: What's going on?
Frasier: My God. I have absolutely nothing in common with this man, except things that happened ten years ago.
Martin: But I thought you had a fun time last night.
Frasier: Oh well, yes. And we had exactly the same time this afternoon, and it wasn't nearly as fun. The same stories, and variations thereof, being forced to laugh over and over. I swear, if I never get another shoulder noogie I will die a happy man.
Martin: Oh, don't feel bad. You've been a good friend and you've shown him a nice time, and now all that's left is for you to go in there and tell him goodbye.
Frasier: Yes, I guess when all this is over I'll have learned a very valuable lesson. Sometimes you can have too much of a good thing. You have to know when to say "When." The past is just that, the past. You can never go home again. Less is more.
Martin: Wish you had started with that last one.
Quote from Frasier
Niles: Oh. I take it you had a whiz-bang time at the karaoke bar?
Frasier: For starters, Woody sang "What Kind Of Fool Am I?" Quickly turned into an audience participation number. Then Gil and Noel did a charming duet with "Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better." They were both wrong. I guess the highlight of the evening was when Gil, after one too many Kir Royales, performed a haunting rendition of "I Feel Pretty," during the latter verses of which Noel joined him on the apron of the stage and translated into Klingon.
Quote from Niles
Frasier: Well, Woody, I thought tonight we would just maybe stay in, y'know, order some pizza?
Woody: Sounds good by me.
Frasier: Okay, great. I'll just call the place around the corner. Niles you gonna join us?
Niles: Well, why not? It'll be fun to drink some beer and have some pizza with a couple of rapscallions.
Woody: Oh, hey, if you don't mind, could we make that half rapscallions, half pepperoni?
Quote from Frasier
Frasier: Uh Roz, Noel gave me this to give to you.
Roz: Oh, God, Noel. He's been acting so weird lately.
Frasier: Lately? May I remind you this is the man required by law to stay at least 100 yards away from William Shatner?
Quote from Daphne
Woody: Ah, this place is awesome.
Frasier: Thank you.
Woody: I'm not surprised you need all these roommates to help you pay for it.
Frasier: Well, they're not really roommates, Woody. They're... They're more like boarders actually. [laughs] No. That's my father, Martin.
Woody: Well, hi. I remember hearing about you, you were a policeman,right?
Martin: That's right.
Frasier: And that's my brother right there, Niles. He's a psychiatrist, too.
Niles: Hello.
Woody: Oh, wow.
Frasier: And this is Daphne Moon, my father's home health-care worker.
Daphne: It's nice to meet you.
Woody: Oh hi. I like your accent. Uh, you're from England, right?
Daphne: Manchester.
Woody: Darn. I'm usually pretty good at that.
Quote from Frasier
Frasier: So Woody, can I get you a beer?
Woody: That's funny, huh? Y'know, all those years I was waiting on you, and now you're getting me a beer.
Frasier: Yes, well, life's like that sometimes, isn't it? Daphne, get us a couple of beers, will ya?
Quote from Niles
Frasier: So, what brings you to Seattle?
Woody: My cousin's getting married.
Frasier: Really?
Niles: Which is your cousin, the bride or the groom?
Woody: Actually, both are.
Niles: I assume they're kissing cousins?
Woody: Ho, they're doing a lot more than that. That's why they have to get married.
Quote from Frasier
Frasier: So, is Kelly with you?
Woody: No, no, she's visiting her mom with the kids, but she sends her love.
Frasier: And how's the old gang?
Woody: Oh, well, they haven't changed much. Sam's doing great, Carla's terrific. Oh, y'know, we almost had a wedding. Mr. Clavin got himself one of those Eastern European mail-order brides, but ah, they lived together for a couple of days and decided to call it off.
Frasier: Oh, gosh. I'm so sorry for Cliff.
Woody: Yeah. She said she was homesick. That Bosnia must be a beautiful place.