Frasier: And we're back, let's get straight to the phones. I'm listening.
Woody: "Dr Crane? It's Woody. I'm in Seattle and I'm a little lost."
Frasier: Well, Woody, in today's fast-paced, high-pressure society that's not uncommon. Just why exactly do you feel lost?
Woody: "Well, I've been driving around for about an hour, I can't seem to get out of the airport."
Frasier: Oh, Woody, Woody. Oh well, listeners, this is an old friend of mine from back in Boston. Well, how you
doing there, you old cowpoke?
Woody: "I was doing okay, but all this talk about today's fast-paced, high-pressure world's starting to get me down."
Frasier: Yes, well I have just the cure for that. How about dinner?
Woody: "Sounds great. I'm in town all week. "
Frasier: And I'm free all week. How's tonight?
Woody: "That'd be great. So I hear you're on the radio?"
Frasier: Yes I am, Woody. And so are you.
Woody: "No, no, no. I'm still tending bar at Cheers. Whoo. How do these rumors get started?"
Frasier: Believe it or not, listeners, Woody and I are picking up right where we left off.

Audrey: "So, Dr Crane, I don't see why I should fix the dumb dress when my sister can't even fit into it anymore."
Frasier: Audrey, you borrowed the dress, you tore it. As an old Greek haberdasher once said: "Euripedes, Eumenides." [laughs]
Audrey: "What?"
Frasier: It's just a little joke on the ancient dramatist Euripedes and the mythological Furies.
Audrey: "Huh?"
Frasier: Just fix the dress.

Frasier: Put a bullet in my head.
Martin: What's going on?
Frasier: My God. I have absolutely nothing in common with this man, except things that happened ten years ago.
Martin: But I thought you had a fun time last night.
Frasier: Oh well, yes. And we had exactly the same time this afternoon, and it wasn't nearly as fun. The same stories, and variations thereof, being forced to laugh over and over. I swear, if I never get another shoulder noogie I will die a happy man.
Martin: Oh, don't feel bad. You've been a good friend and you've shown him a nice time, and now all that's left is for you to go in there and tell him goodbye.
Frasier: Yes, I guess when all this is over I'll have learned a very valuable lesson. Sometimes you can have too much of a good thing. You have to know when to say "When." The past is just that, the past. You can never go home again. Less is more.
Martin: Wish you had started with that last one.

Niles: Oh. I take it you had a whiz-bang time at the karaoke bar?
Frasier: For starters, Woody sang "What Kind Of Fool Am I?" Quickly turned into an audience participation number. Then Gil and Noel did a charming duet with "Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better." They were both wrong. I guess the highlight of the evening was when Gil, after one too many Kir Royales, performed a haunting rendition of "I Feel Pretty," during the latter verses of which Noel joined him on the apron of the stage and translated into Klingon.

Frasier: Well, Woody, I thought tonight we would just maybe stay in, y'know, order some pizza?
Woody: Sounds good by me.
Frasier: Okay, great. I'll just call the place around the corner. Niles you gonna join us?
Niles: Well, why not? It'll be fun to drink some beer and have some pizza with a couple of rapscallions.
Woody: Oh, hey, if you don't mind, could we make that half rapscallions, half pepperoni?

Frasier: Uh Roz, Noel gave me this to give to you.
Roz: Oh, God, Noel. He's been acting so weird lately.
Frasier: Lately? May I remind you this is the man required by law to stay at least 100 yards away from William Shatner?

Woody: Ah, this place is awesome.
Frasier: Thank you.
Woody: I'm not surprised you need all these roommates to help you pay for it.
Frasier: Well, they're not really roommates, Woody. They're... They're more like boarders actually. [laughs] No. That's my father, Martin.
Woody: Well, hi. I remember hearing about you, you were a policeman,right?
Martin: That's right.
Frasier: And that's my brother right there, Niles. He's a psychiatrist, too.
Niles: Hello.
Woody: Oh, wow.
Frasier: And this is Daphne Moon, my father's home health-care worker.
Daphne: It's nice to meet you.
Woody: Oh hi. I like your accent. Uh, you're from England, right?
Daphne: Manchester.
Woody: Darn. I'm usually pretty good at that.

Frasier: So Woody, can I get you a beer?
Woody: That's funny, huh? Y'know, all those years I was waiting on you, and now you're getting me a beer.
Frasier: Yes, well, life's like that sometimes, isn't it? Daphne, get us a couple of beers, will ya?

Frasier: So, what brings you to Seattle?
Woody: My cousin's getting married.
Frasier: Really?
Niles: Which is your cousin, the bride or the groom?
Woody: Actually, both are.
Niles: I assume they're kissing cousins?
Woody: Ho, they're doing a lot more than that. That's why they have to get married.

Frasier: So, is Kelly with you?
Woody: No, no, she's visiting her mom with the kids, but she sends her love.
Frasier: And how's the old gang?
Woody: Oh, well, they haven't changed much. Sam's doing great, Carla's terrific. Oh, y'know, we almost had a wedding. Mr. Clavin got himself one of those Eastern European mail-order brides, but ah, they lived together for a couple of days and decided to call it off.
Frasier: Oh, gosh. I'm so sorry for Cliff.
Woody: Yeah. She said she was homesick. That Bosnia must be a beautiful place.