Frasier: Come on, Roz, hurry up. I'd like to get out of here before her trainer shows up with a bucket of live mice for her pre-show feeding.

Roz: It's about my new job. It's a nightmare.
Niles: Didn't you just start today?
Roz: Yes. My boss already hit on me, I'm supposed to work nights and weekends, and my assistant is an idiot and I can't fire her 'cause she's, like, three minorities rolled into one.

Frasier: Is Dad still asleep?
Daphne: Yes, he's napping with the dog. Eddie's little legs are going like mad. I think he's dreaming of chasing rabbits. I can't explain your father's twitching.

Frasier: Oh, Dad. Niles just reminded me of something I'd completely forgotten. When the appraiser mentioned that the bear was from Russia...
Martin: Oh, yeah. Well, it probably got passed down through your great-great grandmother. She was from Russia.
Frasier: A-ha. He said something about the Romanov family?
Martin: Oh, yeah, that, huh? Are you sure you want to hear about this?
Niles: Yes, Dad.
Martin: Well, I guess you would have found out anyway after I died... We're royalty. But I didn't want you to grow up spoiled, so I abdicated and took a job in Seattle on the police force. It was kind of hard giving up that royal way of life, but I think maybe it's the swans that I miss most.

Donny: Well, why didn't you tell me that's where Maris's money came from?
Niles: It's never easy... Maris's money?
Donny: Yeah, I mean you told me that Maris's family money came from timber?
Niles: It did. It did come from timber.
Donny: Oh, that's what you really think.
Niles: Well, of course. It's true.
Donny: And that's what all of Maris's friends think, too? All those country club snobs who would kill for a good piece of dirt on someone?
Niles: Well, what are you talking about? If her family money didn't come from timber, where did it come from?
[Donny hands Niles a case file.]
Niles: Urinal cakes?

Bebe: You know, Mr. Integrity, word on the street is you still haven't hired anyone to negotiate this big deal for you. Could it be because in your heart you know you want to come back to me?
Frasier: Yes, well if I'm taking my time it's because I'm determined to make the right choice.
Roz: Well, you're gonna need somebody good.
Frasier: That's exactly what I intend to find, someone good. I'm going to prove to both of you it's possible to find an agent who can drive a hard bargain and yet maintain the highest ethical standards.
Bebe: Happy hunting. If things don't work out, you know my number.
Frasier: Still 666, is it?

Frasier: To the park!
Martin: This time we'll comb every inch of that place. Every tree, every bush. Uh, Daphne, we're gonna need more help, so call Niles and tell him we'll pick him up.
Frasier: Oh, yes, wouldn't want to go out in the wild without one of the world's great outdoorsmen!