Frasier Quote of the Day
Saturday, September 26, 2020
Niles: That reminds me, yesterday at the café I asked you a question which you deftly avoided answering. Do you think Maris and I are meant to be together?
Frasier: Right, well. That's a tough question. Well, you know, perhaps the better question would be, do you think you and Maris are meant to be together?
Niles: Hmmm. I serve you up a question, you clumsily bat it back to me. We've hardly missed our squash game at all.
Friday, September 25, 2020
Frasier: Ah, Dr. Nora.
Nora: Such a frosty tone. Is something the matter?
Frasier: I have just one question—
Roz: What kind of vicious, judgmental, name-calling, machete-mouthed bitch are you?
Frasier: I was going for the less feisty version.
Thursday, September 24, 2020
[A knock on the winnebago door]
Niles: Come in.
[Niles looks up:]
Daphne: I was wondering... if you might be free for a date?
Niles: Oh, my God, yes!
Daphne: There's plenty of time for that later. Let's get this bloody boat moving!
Niles: What, you mean now?
Daphne: There's about a hundred people back there I'm not so keen on seeing.
Niles: Well, all right, let's go then.
Niles: Fasten your seat belt, Daphne.
Daphne: Fasten yours, Niles.
Wednesday, September 23, 2020
[Martin is wearing headphones to listen to the TV]
Niles: Very clever solution.
Frasier: Yes. It also has another little feature that I like. Watch this. [to Martin] Hey, Dad! Nice shirt. Did they throw that in the last time you had your tires rotated?
Niles: Hey, Dad. Tell us about the time you met Dwight Eisenhower. We haven't heard that story this hour.
Frasier: Okay, okay, my turn. Hey, Dad? Remember-
Martin: Say another word and I'll club you both with my cane.
Tuesday, September 22, 2020
Niles: You must excuse my jolly mood, but Maris was over tonight for our weekly conjugal visit.
Martin: Eeww, Jeez.
Niles: I've never seen her look so seductive. She wore a clingy gown, crimson lipstick, even earrings, which she tends to avoid as they make her head droop. She pulled me down upon the bed and began playing my spine like a zither. And then, just as things were heating up, she renewed her request that I dismiss Doctor Wilfong. So tremulous with desire was I that I almost relented, but then I remembered your advice, Frasier, and I said I wouldn't fire the good doctor. At which point Maris told me I wouldn't be firing anything else in the foreseeable future! And she left!
Monday, September 21, 2020
Roz: Be careful out there. There's a lot of creeps.
Frasier: Oh, Roz, I hate that word "creeps". I've met a lot of odd people in this business and I never refer to any of them as a "creep".
Bulldog: Hey, Roz, will you stop wearing those corduroys? I can't see your pantyline.
Frasier: Although some people do send me groping for synonyms.
Sunday, September 20, 2020
Sunday, September 27, 2020
Monday, September 28, 2020
Tuesday, September 29, 2020
Wednesday, September 30, 2020
Thursday, October 1, 2020