Niles: Duke's was his whole life.
Frasier: Well, Niles, there's nothing we can do about it, really. You know, look at it this way: we're actually doing Dad a service, stopping him from going out and drinking. And the other policemen as well. Maybe we're even performing a community service. Men with guns will have one less place to go and liquor up.
Niles: There's always Roz's place.

Frasier: This is fantastic! What say we go celebrate with a nice dinner at an exclusive boite?
Niles: Yes, but the question remains, what boite?
Frasier: Charise?
Niles: Too noisy.
Frasier: Alsace?
Niles: Too bright.
Frasier: Papillion?
Niles: Too crowded.
Frasier: We've run out of boites.
Niles: A city this size and only three boites.
Frasier: How do we live?

Daphne: Hello, Dr. Crane.
Niles: Hello, Daphne. You look even lovelier than usual this evening.
Daphne: Thank you.
[Niles sniffs Daphne]
Niles: Is that "Forbidden"?
Frasier: In every sense of the word!

Daphne: I think I'll just scrub me neck with an unscented soap. If you ask me, you Americans have an unhealthy obsession with sex.
Martin: Hey, I'm sorry we can't all be as chaste and restrained as the Royal Family.
Frasier: Good one, Dad.
Martin: I've been saving it.

Daphne: Well, I suppose you could sit around here analyzing why he invited you and end up frittering the night away. Or, here's a thought, you could just go down there and find out for yourselves. [Daphne leaves]
Frasier: You know, for a lay person, she has a way of cuttin' right through the crap, doesn't she?

Martin: All right, all right everybody, settle down here, settle down. I wanna make a toast. Forthirty years, Duke's has been my home away from home. I look around here tonight and I see a lot of friends, and I wanna say I'm gonna miss you. And I'm gonna miss this joint too. And may there be a special place in hell for those SOBs who are tearing it down to build some damn mini-mall.
Everyone: Yeah!
Martin: Those sniveling, rat-face bastards from Meadow Wood Properties!
[Frasier and Niles down their shots]
Everyone: Yeah!
Martin: To Duke's!
Everyone: To Duke's!
Frasier: Two more!

Roz: The way I see it, your situation is like a woman who has one crazy night and cheats on her boyfriend. And the only reason for this woman to confess is to make herself feel better. The best thing she can do is just keep her mouth shut. Unless, of course, her boyfriend walks in on her and the other guy because he decides to come home from Portland on the midnight flight instead of driving back like he said he would, so in that case, he's the liar and why should she feel bad?!
Frasier: Thank you, Roz, for that purely theoretical example.

Niles: Oh, my God, it's a room full of Dads.

Duke: It's great finally meeting you guys. Martin's been telling us about you since you were kids.
Frasier: Oh, Dad.
Duke: I tell you Frasier, we all felt terrible when you heard your wife was screwing around behind your back. What was her name again?
Everyone: Lilith!
Martin: Hey, it was a slow night, all right?!

Niles: This has nothing to do Maris. I'm making this investment entirely with my own money.
Frasier: And mine!
Niles: And yours!
Roz: Oh, come on, Frasier, show some understanding. Maris uses her money to emasculate the poor guy, and this is his pathetic attempt to stop feeling like a financial eunuch and regain some shred of his former manhood. Such as it was.