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The Candidate

‘The Candidate’

Season 2, Episode 7 -  Aired November 8, 1994

After Martin is featured in a political campaign video for a reactionary politician, Frasier and Niles decide to support his opponent.

Quote from Niles

Phil Patterson: Thanks again, Frasier.
Niles: Oh, our pleasure, Phil. The Crane family has a long history of political involvement. You know, my wife Maris actually has all our servants down at your campaign headquarters licking envelopes. She'd do it herself, but the poor thing can't produce saliva.


Quote from Martin

TV Announcer: And now another American for Holden Thorpe.
Martin: [on TV] Hi, I'm Marty Crane.
Frasier: Oh, dear God.
Martin: [on TV] For thirty years I was a cop walking a beat in Seattle. Then my hip was shattered by an assassin's bullet - an assassin who wouldn't have been on the streets if it weren't for those bleeding hearts we sent to Congress. I used to carry a gun. Now I carry a cane. I'm voting to elect Holden Thorpe. He's running because I can't.

Quote from Niles

Niles: "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing."
Frasier: Edmund Burke.
Niles: I have that quotation in a frame. I keep meaning to put it up in my office but I never seem to get around to it.

Quote from Frasier

Roz: Piece of work, isn't he? He makes it sound like it's either vote for him or be found murdered in your bed.
Frasier: Oh, I wouldn't be concerned if I were you, Roz. What are the chances of finding you there alone?

Quote from Frasier

Roz: Go ahead, caller.
Holden Thorpe: "Crane, Thorpe. Let me ask you something. Are you married?"
Frasier: Divorced.
Holden Thorpe: "You ever serve in the military?"
Frasier: Well, actually, I have congenitally weak ankles, it's a family problem.
Holden Thorpe: "I see, I see. So a guy like you - unmarried, didn't serve his country - sees fit to criticize a patriotic family man who fought in the Battle of Grenada. I went in on the first wave, by the way."
Frasier: On a surfboard, I suppose?

Quote from Frasier

Frasier: Are you saying I should still back Phil?
Niles: All right. Answer me this: can you tell me with any certainty that in such a vast universe there isn't
intelligent life on other planets?
Frasier: At the moment, I'm not sure there's intelligent life in this kitchen!

Quote from Frasier

Holden Thorpe: [recorded message] So vote for me. My crime program will give the streets back to the people-
Frasier: [cuts it off] That's good. Because with your tax program, that's where they'll be sleeping!

Quote from Daphne

Daphne: You know, my uncle was a political writer for one of those London tabloids. I can still remember his biggest scoop. The headline read: "High-ranking politician caught wearing women's clothing." Of course, you turn to page two and you found out it was Margaret Thatcher, but by then you'd already bought the paper.

Quote from Frasier

Frasier: Hello, I'm Dr. Frasier Crane. Many of you know me from my radio show but today I'm speaking to you as
a concerned citizen. A deeply concerned citizen.

Quote from Roz

Roz: Of course, it doesn't help that I didn't get any sleep last night.
Frasier: Dating a snorer?
Roz: You know, Frasier, I'm getting just a little tired of your constant insinuation that I sleep around. I didn't get any sleep because of that idiot Chopper Dave. When he gets bored doing traffic reports he likes to buzz people's apartments in his helicopter.
Frasier: Oh, I can see how that would be annoying.
Roz: Well, it didn't bother me much, but the guy I was with is a Vietnam vet and he started having flashbacks.

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