Martin: Well, if you're so sure you're indispensable, maybe you should run for president. Oh, wait. You did. Five times.
Frasier: They wouldn't love you so much if it weren't for my ideas.
Martin: Right, because you need a Ph. D. to think about repainting the lobby. Oh, wait. You don't.
Frasier: Would you stop doing that?
Martin: You're right. It's not an effective way to argue. Oh, wait. It is.

Frasier: Hi, Daph, uh, listen. I could use an objective opinion. I am running for condo board president, and I want to know what you think of this as a slogan. "Frasier Crane: The People's Elixir."
Martin: Okay, I'm ready for my exercises now.
Frasier: Please, Dad, this is serious. I have a feeling this could be my year.
Daphne: Don't you say that every year.
Frasier: Yes, I do, but this year, I am the only one running against the incumbent, which means the people will rally their inchoate yearnings for change behind my banner.
Martin: You're full of catchy slogans.

Martin: Frasier, don't get your hopes up too high. I mean, name one person on the condo board you haven't ticked off at least once.
Frasier: That's just because I have a Type-A, hands-on, get-it-done personality.
Martin: Seriously, name one. You know, Fras, you might be the best man for the job, but a friendly smile and a "How do you do" in the hallway goes a lot further than being "The People's Laxative."
Frasier: Elixir.

Frasier: Say, I've got an idea. Dad, why don't you just run?
Martin: Why would I want to do that?
Frasier: Well, because then the people would get their regular guy, but he would have my political agenda.
Daphne: I get it. Your father's the figurehead. Like Woodrow Wilson when he had that stroke and his wife secretly acted as president.
Frasier: Yes, exactly, but of course Dad would be conscious, presumably.

Martin: How did you know about that?
Daphne: I'm studying for my citizenship exam. It's about time I became an American like everyone else.
Frasier: If you were like everyone else, you wouldn't know any history.

Martin: Well, I wish we would have known that guy wasn't going to run. I wouldn't have had to spend all night working on my speech.
Frasier: Yes. Plus, I would automatically be president now.
Martin: Yeah, even you couldn't lose a one-man election.
Frasier: Hmm. Are you forgetting 1998?
Martin: Oh, yeah, when you lost to the dead guy.
Frasier: He wasn't dead, he was in a coma. How was I supposed to compete with that?

Niles: Oh, hi, Roz.
Roz: Hi.
Daphne: Poor thing had a bad date.
Niles: Oh, I'm sorry. Well, now that Daphne's helping you to relax, do you want to join us in a little mélange?
Roz: [stiffening up] What?
Daphne: You'll love it. Niles is amazing.
Roz: Wait. What are you saying?
Daphne: Unless you have other plans.
Roz: Well, I guess not, but...
Niles: Great. Then here you go. [hands her a fruit salad]
Roz: Oh. Fruit salad. Oh, my God, I thought you said ménage!

Daphne: We're sorry. Here you haven't even had dinner and we're teasing you.
Niles: Oh, you haven't? I didn't know that. Let me make you something.
Roz: No, it's okay. I'm not that hungry.
Daphne: Oh, come on.
Roz: Oh, all right. I wouldn't say no to a sandwich.
[Niles and Daphne break down laughing]

Frasier: [on the phone] Yes, he is doing a hell of a job, isn't he? Oh, listen, what did you think of the new plants in the lobby? Dad was particularly pleased with how they complimented the filigree in the sconces.
Martin: Don't tell people that.

Frasier: Is this going to be a problem?
Martin: What?
Frasier: I think we need to reach a little understanding. If someone asks you a question, you look at me. If I scratch my nose, it means "No." You get it? They both begin with the same two letters: "N-O." Now if I touch my eye, it means "aye," as in "yes."
Martin: Guess what you're being if I touch my ass.