‘Proxy Prexy’
Season 10, Episode 3 - Aired October 8, 2002
Fearing he will never win the support of the building's tenants, Frasier convinces Martin to run for president of the condo board so he can surreptitiously call the shots.
Quote from Martin
Martin: Well, if you're so sure you're indispensable, maybe you should run for president. Oh, wait. You did. Five times.
Frasier: They wouldn't love you so much if it weren't for my ideas.
Martin: Right, because you need a Ph. D. to think about repainting the lobby. Oh, wait. You don't.
Frasier: Would you stop doing that?
Martin: You're right. It's not an effective way to argue. Oh, wait. It is.
Quote from Frasier
Frasier: Hi, Daph, uh, listen. I could use an objective opinion. I am running for condo board president, and I want to know what you think of this as a slogan. "Frasier Crane: The People's Elixir."
Martin: Okay, I'm ready for my exercises now.
Frasier: Please, Dad, this is serious. I have a feeling this could be my year.
Daphne: Don't you say that every year.
Frasier: Yes, I do, but this year, I am the only one running against the incumbent, which means the people will rally their inchoate yearnings for change behind my banner.
Martin: You're full of catchy slogans.
Quote from Martin
Martin: Frasier, don't get your hopes up too high. I mean, name one person on the condo board you haven't ticked off at least once.
Frasier: That's just because I have a Type-A, hands-on, get-it-done personality.
Martin: Seriously, name one. You know, Fras, you might be the best man for the job, but a friendly smile and a "How do you do" in the hallway goes a lot further than being "The People's Laxative."
Frasier: Elixir.
Quote from Daphne
Frasier: Say, I've got an idea. Dad, why don't you just run?
Martin: Why would I want to do that?
Frasier: Well, because then the people would get their regular guy, but he would have my political agenda.
Daphne: I get it. Your father's the figurehead. Like Woodrow Wilson when he had that stroke and his wife secretly acted as president.
Frasier: Yes, exactly, but of course Dad would be conscious, presumably.
Quote from Frasier
Daphne: I'm studying for my citizenship exam. It's about time I became an American like everyone else.
Frasier: If you were like everyone else, you wouldn't know any history.
Quote from Frasier
Martin: Well, I wish we would have known that guy wasn't going to run. I wouldn't have had to spend all night working on my speech.
Frasier: Yes. Plus, I would automatically be president now.
Martin: Yeah, even you couldn't lose a one-man election.
Frasier: Hmm. Are you forgetting 1998?
Martin: Oh, yeah, when you lost to the dead guy.
Frasier: He wasn't dead, he was in a coma. How was I supposed to compete with that?
Quote from Roz
Niles: Oh, hi, Roz.
Roz: Hi.
Daphne: Poor thing had a bad date.
Niles: Oh, I'm sorry. Well, now that Daphne's helping you to relax, do you want to join us in a little mélange?
Roz: [stiffening up] What?
Daphne: You'll love it. Niles is amazing.
Roz: Wait. What are you saying?
Daphne: Unless you have other plans.
Roz: Well, I guess not, but...
Niles: Great. Then here you go. [hands her a fruit salad]
Roz: Oh. Fruit salad. Oh, my God, I thought you said ménage!
Quote from Roz
Daphne: We're sorry. Here you haven't even had dinner and we're teasing you.
Niles: Oh, you haven't? I didn't know that. Let me make you something.
Roz: No, it's okay. I'm not that hungry.
Daphne: Oh, come on.
Roz: Oh, all right. I wouldn't say no to a sandwich.
[Niles and Daphne break down laughing]
Quote from Martin
Frasier: [on the phone] Yes, he is doing a hell of a job, isn't he? Oh, listen, what did you think of the new plants in the lobby? Dad was particularly pleased with how they complimented the filigree in the sconces.
Martin: Don't tell people that.
Quote from Martin
Frasier: Is this going to be a problem?
Martin: What?
Frasier: I think we need to reach a little understanding. If someone asks you a question, you look at me. If I scratch my nose, it means "No." You get it? They both begin with the same two letters: "N-O." Now if I touch my eye, it means "aye," as in "yes."
Martin: Guess what you're being if I touch my ass.