Frasier Quotes

Frasier

Frasier

After Dr. Frasier Crane returns to his hometown of Seattle to host a radio call-in show, his bachelor lifestyle is turned upside down when his father is forced to move in with him.

Starring: Kelsey Grammer, David Hyde Pierce, John Mahoney, Jane Leeves, Peri Gilpin.
Recurring Actors: Dan Butler, Edward Hibbert, Harriet Sansom Harris, Patrick Kerr, Bebe Neuwirth, Marsha Mason, Tom McGowan, Anthony LaPaglia, Millicent Martin, Wendie Malick.
Original Run: 1993-2004.

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Quote from Frasier in The Unkindest Cut of All

Frasier: To the park!
Martin: This time we'll comb every inch of that place. Every tree, every bush. Uh, Daphne, we're gonna need more help, so call Niles and tell him we'll pick him up.
Frasier: Oh, yes, wouldn't want to go out in the wild without one of the world's great outdoorsmen!

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Quote from Frasier in The Good Son

Niles: Of course, I can't take care of him.
Frasier: Oh, yes, of course. Of course. Why?
Niles: Because Dad doesn't get along with Maris.
Frasier: Who does?
Niles: I thought you liked my Maris.
Frasier: I do. I like her from a distance. You know, the way you like the sun. Maris is like the sun, except without the warmth.

Quote from Frasier in She's the Boss

Frasier: What the hell was that? Was that a gunshot?
Niles: Morning, Frasier. Just getting up?
Frasier: "Just getting up?" Are you out of your mind? A gun just went off in here!
Martin: Niles bought a starter's pistol.
Niles: And there's no need to get snippy. Accidents happen, you know.
Frasier: Oh, I'm sorry. Was I snippy? I didn't realize it was too much to ask that there not be gunplay in my living room!

Quote from Niles in To Tell the Truth

Niles: Well, that's it. It's over. It's over and I've lost. Maris has won. Maris always wins.
Martin: Niles.
Niles: Niles never wins! Niles always loses! That's why Niles lives at the Shangri-La and drives a hatchback!

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Quote from Frasier in Semi-Decent Proposal

Frasier: Opus One. That's a delightful little wine. Yes, it's very nice, but this happens to be a Barbaresco Gaja, the greatest Italian red since Roberto Rossellini.

Quote from Niles in Flour Child

Frasier: Niles, I can't help noticing that your child has a little boo-boo.
Niles: Oh, it's nothing. I was playing him some Brahms the other day. Never too early to ingrain them. I guess I must have begun conducting with one of the gilded chopsticks Maris wears in her bun and I accidentally ran him through.
Frasier: What young parent doesn't tell that story?
Niles: The scuffs were just plain carelessness. It was the fault of my new houseman, Ngee.
Frasier: What did Ghee do?
Niles: No, it's Ngee.
Frasier: Ghee.
Niles: No, no. With the back of the throat, Ngee.
Frasier: Oh, who cares. What did he do?
Niles: Well, he had just given my car the most brilliant shine when I sat the baby on the roof and down it went, down the windshield and onto the driveway.