Blanche: Now, I'm serious. You have got to get rid of that woman. Look, she just bosses us all around, won't let us have any fun, make any noise. She's makin' our lives miserable.
Dorothy: I don't like her any more than you do, but what can I do? Ma's ankles haven't healed yet. And besides, Nurse DeFarge means well.
Blanche: Dorothy, at 2:00 a.m. this morning, I was entertaining a gentleman caller when she opened the door at the most inopportune time. I could have lost my balance and chipped a tooth.

Blanche: I think it's a great idea.
Rose: Oh, sure it is, if you like the notion of children competing in a bloodthirsty, winner-take-all contest, where what's on the outside is considered more important than what's on the inside.
Dorothy: Lost the Little Miss St. Olaf pageant, did you?
Rose: Twenty-three years in a row. Once they picked Eileen Ditmeyer's imaginary playmate over me. Well, sure, she was more talented, but still, I smelled a rat.
Dorothy: You mean the contest was fixed?
Rose: No, that was my talent. Smelling rats.

Rose: You think that's annoying? She came into my room last night when I was reenacting the gangplank scene from Peter Pan.
Dorothy: What the hell goes on at night in this house?

Blanche: Uh, Melissa, may I speak with you, please?
Rose: Could you wait a moment? Someone's having a story read to her.
Blanche: I'm sorry. Go ahead.
Melissa: "And the prince took the princess to the castle, and they lived happily ever after. The end."
Rose: They didn't get married?
Melissa: That's implied.

Blanche: Oh, hi. We're back.
Dorothy: Oh, hi, honey. And what did you do today?
Melissa: Grandma took me down to the docks to watch the sailors come in.
Dorothy: I remember spending that quality wharf time with my grandma.

Nurse DeFarge: Dorothy, I'm sorry. I cannot leave.
Dorothy: What?
Nurse DeFarge: Until she can walk again, I'm staying put.
Sophia: You're a good daughter. Take a lesson, pussycat.
Nurse DeFarge: You're pussycat, too?
Dorothy: I am pussycat one. You are pussycat two.

Dorothy: Ma, what are you doing?
Sophia: I'm rolling for my life. You hired the Angel of Death from Shady Pines.
Dorothy: Ma, don't be ridiculous. She is not the Angel of Death. She is a private nurse with excellent references. And for the last time, Shady Pines is a very reputable rest home.
Sophia: I'm telling you, Dorothy, they used to pre-sell our bodies to medical schools. That was the big joke, "How would you like to go to college?"

Sophia: Well, now that I'm up, I might as well do some shopping.
Dorothy: Get back here, you deceitful little Sicilian gecko!
Sophia: I wuv you.
Dorothy: Too wittle, too wate.

Dorothy: Look, Ma, I'm hiring a nurse. At your age, we can't take any injury for granted.
Sophia: Well, it's your fault I sprained both my ankles.
Dorothy: Ma, you were the one who sneezed and blew yourself off the stool.
Sophia: It wouldn't have happened if you'd let me sit at the table that night.
Dorothy: Look, Ma, you know the rules. When we eat Mexican food, you sit at the counter.

Dorothy: Honey, the important thing is to spend time with her. Why don't you do something that both of you enjoy? Why don't you take her to the movies, to the beach? Why don't you take her to the petting zoo?
Blanche: The Petting Zoo? Dorothy, even I don't go to that club anymore.