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‘Beauty and the Beast’ Quotes

The Golden Girls: Beauty and the Beast

703. Beauty and the Beast

Aired October 5, 1991

After Sophia injures her ankles, Dorothy hires a personal nurse to take care of her. Meanwhile, Blanche pushes her granddaughter to take part in a beauty pageant.

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: Now, I'm serious. You have got to get rid of that woman. Look, she just bosses us all around, won't let us have any fun, make any noise. She's makin' our lives miserable.
Dorothy: I don't like her any more than you do, but what can I do? Ma's ankles haven't healed yet. And besides, Nurse DeFarge means well.
Blanche: Dorothy, at 2:00 a.m. this morning, I was entertaining a gentleman caller when she opened the door at the most inopportune time. I could have lost my balance and chipped a tooth.

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Quote from Rose

Blanche: I think it's a great idea.
Rose: Oh, sure it is, if you like the notion of children competing in a bloodthirsty, winner-take-all contest, where what's on the outside is considered more important than what's on the inside.
Dorothy: Lost the Little Miss St. Olaf pageant, did you?
Rose: Twenty-three years in a row. Once they picked Eileen Ditmeyer's imaginary playmate over me. Well, sure, she was more talented, but still, I smelled a rat.
Dorothy: You mean the contest was fixed?
Rose: No, that was my talent. Smelling rats.

Quote from Rose

Rose: You think that's annoying? She came into my room last night when I was reenacting the gangplank scene from Peter Pan.
Dorothy: What the hell goes on at night in this house?

Quote from Rose

Blanche: Uh, Melissa, may I speak with you, please?
Rose: Could you wait a moment? Someone's having a story read to her.
Blanche: I'm sorry. Go ahead.
Melissa: "And the prince took the princess to the castle, and they lived happily ever after. The end."
Rose: They didn't get married?
Melissa: That's implied.

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: Oh, hi. We're back.
Dorothy: Oh, hi, honey. And what did you do today?
Melissa: Grandma took me down to the docks to watch the sailors come in.
Dorothy: I remember spending that quality wharf time with my grandma.

Quote from Dorothy

Nurse DeFarge: Dorothy, I'm sorry. I cannot leave.
Dorothy: What?
Nurse DeFarge: Until she can walk again, I'm staying put.
Sophia: You're a good daughter. Take a lesson, pussycat.
Nurse DeFarge: You're pussycat, too?
Dorothy: I am pussycat one. You are pussycat two.

Quote from Dorothy

Sophia: Well, now that I'm up, I might as well do some shopping.
Dorothy: Get back here, you deceitful little Sicilian gecko!
Sophia: I wuv you.
Dorothy: Too wittle, too wate.

Quote from Dorothy

Dorothy: Look, Ma, I'm hiring a nurse. At your age, we can't take any injury for granted.
Sophia: Well, it's your fault I sprained both my ankles.
Dorothy: Ma, you were the one who sneezed and blew yourself off the stool.
Sophia: It wouldn't have happened if you'd let me sit at the table that night.
Dorothy: Look, Ma, you know the rules. When we eat Mexican food, you sit at the counter.

Quote from Blanche

Dorothy: Honey, the important thing is to spend time with her. Why don't you do something that both of you enjoy? Why don't you take her to the movies, to the beach? Why don't you take her to the petting zoo?
Blanche: The Petting Zoo? Dorothy, even I don't go to that club anymore.

Quote from Dorothy

Blanche: Girls, I've got big news. I found something Melissa and I can do together. I have entered her in the Little Miss Miami pageant. And we're a cinch to win, aren't we? Hit it, sweetheart.
Melissa: Hi, my name's Melissa, and I'm five years old.
Rose: Blanche, she's seven.
Dorothy: No, that works out to be five in Blanche years.

Quote from Dorothy

Dorothy: Blanche, I'm not sure that this is a good idea, either. I mean, beauty pageants are archaic and sexist, not to mention degrading.
Rose: Lost the Little Miss Brooklyn contest, did you?
Dorothy: I practiced that trombone for weeks! And there was Ma sitting in the front row, sucking a lemon.
Blanche: Well, you were just nervous because your mother was in the front row.
Dorothy: She was a judge.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: Uh, this is my friend, Rose Nylund. I'll go get Ma. I'm sure she's anxious to get reacquainted.
Rose: Oh, then you've known Sophia before?
Nurse DeFarge: Yes, she was one of the residents a few years ago at a place I worked called Shady Pines. But to tell you the truth, I don't think that she'll remember me.
Dorothy: Ma, I'm sure you-
Sophia: [screaming, wheels away]
Dorothy: I hope that doesn't make you uncomfortable.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: Ma, what are you doing?
Sophia: I'm rolling for my life. You hired the Angel of Death from Shady Pines.
Dorothy: Ma, don't be ridiculous. She is not the Angel of Death. She is a private nurse with excellent references. And for the last time, Shady Pines is a very reputable rest home.
Sophia: I'm telling you, Dorothy, they used to pre-sell our bodies to medical schools. That was the big joke, "How would you like to go to college?"

Quote from Sophia

Blanche: Hey!
Dorothy: What are you doing?
Rose: We were going to watch The Nun's Story. I've never seen it before.
Nurse DeFarge: Oh, she leaves the convent in the end. Here it is, Ironside. He's the master of the wheelchair. Just look at the way he takes those corners.
Sophia: Oh, come on. The guy's got radials.

Quote from Dorothy

Dorothy: Look, Ma, I know I don't pamper you. But the reason I make you do things for yourself, is because I want to keep you active and vital. The best way to show you I care is to make sure that you- You don't settle into old age.
Sophia: So you're saying you make me vacuum and dust and scrape crusty stuff off the tile because you love me?
Dorothy: Honestly? It tickles me.
Sophia: Pussycat.
Dorothy: Ma.


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