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‘Nice and Easy’ Quotes Page 1 of 3

The Golden Girls: Nice and Easy

117. Nice and Easy

Aired February 1, 1986

Blanche is concerned when her niece, Lucy, comes to town and seems to have learned a trick or two from her when it comes to men.

Quote from Rose

Blanche: Oh, I'm calling the exterminator!
Rose: Oh, no, don't! A mouse saved my life once. His name was Larry. Larry the mouse. Oh, I loved Larry. He used to walk to school with me every day on a little leash I made out of kite string. Well, one day, we were about to cross the bridge down near the schoolhouse, and Larry stopped dead in his tracks. No matter how I yanked on that leash, he just wouldn't move. Suddenly, I heard this loud noise. The dam upstream had broken, and this rush of water swept the bridge away. Larry saved my life. If it weren't for a mouse just like that little one in the kitchen, I wouldn't be sitting here today, telling you this story.
Dorothy & Sophia: Call the exterminator!

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Quote from Rose

Rose: I cringe at some of the stunts I pulled when I was going through my rebellious stage.
Dorothy: Like what, Rose, squeezing the cows too hard?
Rose: No like climbing out my bedroom window and stealing my father's truck to drive into a bar in the city to meet Clel Lightener.
Blanche: Clel Lightener? I think I used that on my hair once.
Rose: Oh, Clel was the cutest boy at our high school. He was also the only sophomore old enough to get into a bar.
Dorothy: So what did you do when you got there?
Rose: I sat in the truck for hours, paralyzed with fear. I kept thinking to myself, "What is a simple Protestant farm girl doing in the parking lot of a gin mill in a flashy, fast-paced city like Tyler's Landing?"
Blanche: So did you get out of the truck or what?
Rose: Of course. I marched up to the door, and I ran right into Reverend Mackenzie coming out of the bar on the arm of Millie Beasley, wife of Emmett Beasley, our town's most decorated war hero. Emmett received three Purple Hearts, all for head wounds. He ran the feed store in our town. 'course, if the truth be known, Millie was the one who had to make change for the customers.
Dorothy: Rose, are you telling a story or performing Our Town?
Rose: Oh, sorry. Anyway, Reverend Mackenzie made a deal with me. He said if I didn't tell on him, he wouldn't tell on me. So, I went home.
Blanche: Well, did he keep your secret?
Rose: Till the day he died. Which was two days later. Emmett found Millie and the Reverend skinny-dipping in the church's fountain and he shot the both of them. A week later, we became Lutherans.
Blanche: Rose, that isn't a "teenage rebellion" story. That is a "changing religions" story. That is a "who cares?" story. That is a "why-in-the-hell-tell-it-in-the-first-place?" story!

Quote from Blanche

Rose: Blanche, exactly what did you say to Lucy that night at Ed's apartment?
Blanche: Oh, I told her a lot of things. I told her she was a bright, charming, funny young lady who didn't have to rely upon sex to be liked.
Dorothy: Well, good for you, Blanche.
Blanche: You know, I hadn't realized how much she's been looking up to me. I think the thing that really turned her around was when I told her that when it comes to men, I'm just a lot of talk. Embellishment's one of the oldest traditions in the South. Tall tales and tall drinks. I don't really sleep around near as much as I say I do.
Rose: Is that true, Blanche?
Blanche: Maybe it is and maybe it isn't! [winks]

Quote from Sophia

Blanche: Let me get a look at you, girl. Mmm, terrific little figure, gorgeous hair, perfect skin. Just like looking in a mirror.
Sophia: Get some Windex!

Quote from Sophia

Rose: Sophia, do you think it's right for a girl to sleep with a man on their first date?
Sophia: It's a sin!
Rose: See, Sophia agrees with me.
Sophia: All I said was, it's a sin. Personally, I'd go back to eating fish on Friday if His Holiness gave that one the green light. We're out of milk.

Quote from Sophia

Blanche: Sophia, what are you doing?
Sophia: Painting numbers on my toes. I keep forgetting their names.
Blanche: But Lucy will be here any minute! Honey, this doesn't look very nice.
Sophia: I say, let relatives know how you really live. That way, they don't hang around.

Quote from Sophia

Blanche: Well, it so happens that my niece and I are very close. In fact, I'm hoping her interviews go well so she can transfer to a college here and I can see her more often.
Sophia: I was never close with any of my nieces. They all became nuns. It's hard to shop for a nun at Christmas.

Quote from Dorothy

Dorothy: Oh, my God, I can't believe it!
Sophia: What?
Dorothy: A rat!
Blanche: A rat?
Rose: It wasn't a rat. It was a cute little mouse.
Dorothy: Rose, it doesn't wear white gloves and work at Disneyland. We're talking about a rodent.

Quote from Dorothy

Rose: How was your trip?
Lucy: Oh, it was wonderful. I met a gorgeous, single doctor on the plane.
Dorothy: Oh, at 30,000 feet, she picks up a doctor. Now I see the family resemblance.

Quote from Dorothy

Blanche: Oh, isn't she something! I'm really proud of her. Now, if I could just manage to rope myself a doctor that easily.
Dorothy: Honey, I don't think there's enough sugar left in the bowl.

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