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‘The Case of the Libertine Belle’ Quotes

The Golden Girls: The Case of the Libertine Belle

702. The Case of the Libertine Belle

Aired September 28, 1991

Blanche organizes a murder mystery party for the museum staff which turns deadly when her prospective boss is murdered.

Quote from Dorothy

Sophia: He looks pretty dead to me.
Dorothy: All right, Ma, give me your mirror.
Rose: What for?
Dorothy: Every morning I hold it under Ma's nose. If it fogs up, I start the coffee.

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Quote from Dorothy

Marlowe: Nice try, ma' am, but Philip and Gloria are innocent of those crimes.
Dorothy: Perhaps, but they are both murderers.
Sophia: Sit down, Dorothy. Don't make a fool of yourself.
Marlowe: Would you care to explain?
Dorothy: In the first place, it is unlikely that Gloria murdered her father. Statistics show that patricide is overwhelmingly a male crime. Although daughters frequently murder their mothers!

Quote from Blanche

Rose: Blanche, you're wearing my earrings.
Blanche: Oh, I know that.
Rose: But when I asked you before where they were, you said you didn't know, and now you're wearing them.
Blanche: Well, Rose, there could be two explanations. Either I was lying, or I was wrong about the number of explanations.

Quote from Sophia

Blanche: How can I be accused of murder? I am a Devereaux. Things like this usually happen to people named Petrillo.
Sophia: I take offense at that. No one in my family ever, ever left a body to be found.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: Oh, morning, Ma. How'd you sleep?
Sophia: Pretty good. I dreamed I was making love to Jay Leno.
Dorothy: That's a strange dream for you to have.
Sophia: Not really. It was Monday night, and he was filling in for Carson.

Quote from Rose

Rose: You know, back in Minnesota, I was known as the Sherlock Holmes of St. Olaf.
Dorothy: Figured out which one was Shinola, did you, Rose?
Rose: The hard way.

Quote from Sophia

Blanche: I sure hope this weekend is a success. It could give me a shot at becoming Kendall Nesbitt's new assistant.
Rose: Who's Kendall Nesbitt?
Blanche: Oh, he's the museum's director of acquisitions. If I got this job, it would mean going to Europe with him to look for rare paintings and antiques.
Sophia: Well, if he has an eye for antiques, you should be a shoo-in.
Dorothy: Look who's calling the vase Ming.

Quote from Rose

Blanche: There's just one hitch. I need three more people to get the group rate at the hotel.
Sophia: I thought hotels always gave you the group rate.
Rose: Yeah, sweetheart, but this is for the whole night.

Quote from Sophia

Blanche: Is there any chance I could persuade you girls to join me for a murder-mystery weekend?
Dorothy: Blanche, are you kidding? I have read every word Dashiell Hammett and Raymond Chandler ever wrote. Now, Sam Spade and Philip Marlowe have become a part of me. "She had more curves than the Monaco Grand Prix and was twice as dangerous. Her jewelry was mute testimony that Charlie Chaplin wasn't the only tramp who hit it big in this town."
Sophia: You do this on first dates, don't you, Dorothy?

Quote from Dorothy

Blanche: Oh, Kendall is sitting down with Posey MacGlinn. She is my main rival for that assistant's job. Oh, look at the shameless way she's flirtin' with him. Disgustin'.
Rose: You flirted with him.
Blanche: I'm from the South. Flirting is part of my heritage.
Rose: What do you mean?
Dorothy: Her mother was a slut, too.

Quote from Rose

Marlowe: I've failed to protect my client, but I am determined, with your help, to solve these crimes and bring the murderer to justice.
Rose: Maybe that bloody dagger will lead us to the murder weapon.
Marlowe: St. Olaf?
Rose: Boy, he is good.

Quote from Rose

Kendall: I recognize that. It's a rare Mayan sacrificial dagger. That could prove to be significant.
Marlowe: Undoubtedly the weapon used to kill Mrs. Forsythe, but obviously her husband was shot.
Rose: Then there must be a gun.
Marlowe: South side?
Rose: Uncanny.

Quote from Sophia

Man: Philip did it!
Woman: Gloria did it!
Sophia: It was Colonel Mustard in the library with the candlestick. Oh, she says, "The butler did it," and I'm the idiot?

Quote from Rose

Dorothy: If Gloria had killed her father, would she then have tried to conceal the weapon in her purse? Ladies and gentlemen, I think not. That gun was obviously planted in her purse to pin the murder on her.
Rose: I've got it! A maitre d' is some kind of waiter.

Quote from Rose

Dorothy: Gloria and Philip were both afraid that Candy would persuade the old man to change his will, and they both hoped that pinning the crime on the other would make them the sole inheritor.
Marlowe: Well, there you have it, ladies and gentlemen, the who, how and why.
Rose: Dorothy, that was a real Tour de France.

Quote from Rose

Vaczy: He's dead, all right. Steak knife right through the heart.
Rose: That must be what killed him.
Vaczy: St. Olaf?
Rose: It's like I'm wearing a sign.

Quote from Rose

Blanche: If they put me in prison, I'll be brave. I can handle it.
Rose: Blanche, you don't understand. They'll put you in a women's prison.

Quote from Blanche

Alvarez: Okay, I'm Lieutenant Alvarez, Dade County Homicide, and here's what I got. At around 9:45 last night, this guy went to Room 405, carrying champagne ordered by Nesbitt. He was admitted by Blanche Devereaux and discovered the corpse. Now, Ms. Devereaux and this dead guy had the only two keys. Forensics say that the cause of death was a stab wound inflicted by a steak knife. We know Ms. Devereaux had steak for dinner. Given these facts, unless somebody has something else, we got enough to make an arrest.
Blanche: My, my, Mr. Officer. I do declare, your sweet words could charm the mornin' dew right off the honeysuckle.
Dorothy: Blanche, not now.
Blanche: If not now, when?

Quote from Dorothy

Sophia: So wait a minute. You mean those guys were all in on it?
Blanche: I was in on it, too.
Dorothy: Oh, come on, you were not.
Blanche: Oh, all right. I was not. Damn it, I just hate to be the brunt of jokes.
Dorothy: Funny, you don't mind being the brunt of limericks.

Quote from Rose

Dorothy: Wait a minute. There's one thing I don't understand. When I checked to make sure that Kendall was really dead, why didn't his breath show up on your mirror?
Rose: Simple. The mirror had been sprayed with defogger.
Dorothy: But who could have done that?
Rose: I did. The people at the club asked me to.
Blanche: Well, Rose, why would you do such a cruel thing to me?
Rose: Well, Blanche, there could be two explanations. Either I was getting back at you for taking my earrings or... Oh, who are we kidding? That's why I did it.


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