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‘A Midwinter Night's Dream’ Quotes

The Golden Girls: A Midwinter Night's Dream

719. A Midwinter Night's Dream

Aired February 29, 1992

Rose and Miles decide to get married after she wins an all-expense-paid honeymoon to Paris. After Sophia sees Dorothy and Miles kiss, she is determined to tell Rose to break a family curse.

Quote from Dorothy

Dorothy: Oh, come on, Ma. That's superstitious nonsense. You know, step on a crack, break your mother's back.
It doesn't work. I know. I tried.

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Quote from Sophia

Blanche: I don't understand this, but these men are acting crazy.
Sophia: You're telling me. I haven't been hit on like this since I stopped hanging out at the midnight show of Harold and Maude.

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: Well, you know this necklace is a priceless heirloom. It belonged to my Grammy. I've only worn it three times in my whole life, and each occasion marked the beginning of a passionate romance. And tonight, I've decided to wear it with clothes.

Quote from Dorothy

Dorothy: Look, I'm sorry, Ma, I don't like to keep secrets.
Sophia: Oh, like when you kept the secret you were taking me to Shady Pines?
Dorothy: Ma, I swear I didn't sleep more than seven hours that night.

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: You know what kills me? The year you locked me up at Shady Pines, she roamed around free.

Quote from Sophia

Blanche: You mean, men are comin' on to you?
Sophia: Yeah. One guy told me he thought wrinkles were sexy. I took him out to the garage where he could see me under the fluorescents. I'm telling you, this full moon is making people crazy.

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: I cannot believe this. I just can't. I give you four of the best hours of my life, and this is the thanks I get?
Derek: Blanche, my darling, I can explain.
Blanche: Oh, you have disappointed me, Derek, and you have lost my trust. And when a man loses the trust of Blanche Devereaux, well, let's just say I have a list of things I will not do with guys I don't trust. Admittedly, it's a short list, but I bet all your favorites are on it.

Quote from Dorothy

Miles: Dorothy, am I doing the right thing? Here I'm gonna marry Rose, I don't even know if I can live with her. I mean, what if she leaves every light on in the house at night? Or just doesn't turn off the faucet so that it drips all night long? Or just stands there and stares into the refrigerator? Just stares. Oh, Dorothy, my God.
Dorothy: Oh, Miles, I don't know what you're so worried about. Rose is a wonderful woman. She's so loving and caring. All right, so she's not perfect. So she has a- A few faults.
Miles: Like what?
Dorothy: She's maddening. St. Olaf stories, sock puppets, and she's so cheerful in the morning that you just want to take your grapefruit and shove it in her face. Hard. As hard as she can stand it.
Miles: Boy, I'd like to see who was runner-up for maid of honor.

Quote from Rose

Rose: Me. I'm the luckiest girl in the world. I finally won a giveaway. And you said I was stupid for entering so many contests.
Dorothy: I did? Gee, I find it hard to believe I'd even care.
Rose: This makes it all worthwhile. All those endless hours licking stamps, licking envelopes, temporarily losing my ability to taste sweets.
Dorothy: Rose, what did you win?
Rose: A free prostate check. Who's stupid now?
Dorothy: You are.
Rose: Yeah. Stupid all the way to the bank.

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: No, the Curse of the Strega. It was a curse laid on you by Lena Pascerelli, our village witch.
Dorothy: What village? I was born in Brooklyn.
Sophia: Here's a news flash, witches can fly.
Dorothy: Why did she curse me?
Sophia: I don't know. Maybe because you gave her the cold that eventually killed her. The point is, on her deathbed she laid a curse on you. "Beware the leap year's full moon."
Dorothy: That's it? That's the curse?
Sophia: What'd you expect, poetry? The woman was on her deathbed. Give her a break. So, now there are three tasks I must perform before tomorrow's moon rise. Or you are doomed.
Dorothy: And the three tasks are?
Sophia: Kiss a fool, help a holy man, reveal betrayal of a loved one.

Quote from Rose

Rose: Actually, I'm very tired. I dreamed all last night that I was a car muffler, and when I woke up this morning, I was exhausted.

Quote from Rose

Rose: I am so excited. I'm gonna have an old-fashioned St. Olaf wedding. Dorothy, you're my best friend. Will you be my maid of honor?
Dorothy: Oh, Rose, I'd be Wait a minute. I won't have to wear horns or one of those metal brassieres, will I?
Rose: Oh, no, Dorothy. I'm the one that's getting married.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: Oh, Ma, I've done something terrible. I didn't think it was gonna happen, but it did. I am so ashamed.
Sophia: I'm sure you're just blowing this out of proportion. The Dorothy I raised is a good Catholic girl.
Dorothy: And what's worse, in the process, I have hurt a friend.
Sophia: Hey, a true friend will forgive you anything and love you no matter what. Just as I, your mother, loves you, no matter what. Now, tell me, Dorothy, what did you do that's so terrible?
Dorothy: I hugged Miles.
Sophia: You're going to hell, missy.
Dorothy: What? For hugging a man?
Sophia: For lying to your mother. I saw what was going on on the lanai.
Dorothy: It was just a little kiss.
Sophia: Little kiss? I haven't seen that kind of face eating since Silence of the Lambs.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: Oh, Ma. Ma, what am I gonna do?
Sophia: We're gonna use this for your own good. Once I've told Rose that I saw you kissing Miles, I will have satisfied all the terms of the Curse of the Strega.
Dorothy: Ma, you cannot tell Rose. And I can't believe that you're still talking about that silly curse.
Sophia: I've worked my butt off for you. I kissed a fool, I helped a holy man, and I witnessed the betrayal of a loved one. That's a lot of work for a woman who nods off all day on the couch.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: Ma, please, please, if somebody has to tell Rose, please, let it be me.
Sophia: I'm sorry, but that won't satisfy the curse. Besides, I'm doing this for your own good.
Dorothy: For my own good? The last time you said that you volunteered me for psychological experiments.
Sophia: Hey, the pay was good. And to this day nobody, nobody can make it through a maze faster than you can.

Quote from Dorothy

Blanche: Oh, Dorothy, he's so classy. He's English. You know what that means?
Dorothy: You've completed your "Men of Western Europe" collection.

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: Maybe the paperboy is right. I'm just a mean old lady.

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: Blanche, a terrible thing has happened. But when life does something like this to you, there are a couple things you gotta remember. You got your health, right?
Blanche: Yeah.
Sophia: You can still walk, can't you?
Blanche: That's true.
Sophia: Great. Go get me a glass of water.

Quote from Rose

Rose: Miles, maybe you did it because you're just a little nervous about us getting married.
Miles: Well, I am a little.
Rose: Well, that's because we're rushing into it for some free honeymoon. Not because we're ready. And, Dorothy, maybe subconsciously, you were trying to block my marriage because you like me living here.
Dorothy: Okay.
Rose: And, Sophia, maybe you wanted to tell me about Miles and Dorothy kissing because you're just a mean old woman like the paperboy said.
Sophia: Okay.


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