‘Hey, Look Me Over’
Season 7, Episode 1 - Aired September 21, 1991
Rose is upset when a photograph shows that Blanche may once have slept with her late husband, Charlie. Meanwhile, Dorothy is concerned Sophia's hearing is going.
Quote from Blanche
Rose: Wait a minute. If you didn't sleep with any of the men in these journals, then how come it says "Bed" on the cover?
Blanche: [laughs] Oh, that doesn't say "Bed".
Rose: Right there, it does.
Blanche: Oh, silly, those are my initials. Blanche Elizabeth Devereaux.
Dorothy: Your initials spell "Bed"?
Quote from Sophia
Sophia: Well, I've got two tickets here for the final night of the Philharmonic, and one of them has your name on it. Here you go, Opus.
Dorothy: I thought you two went last night.
Sophia: I traded those for these. Actually, last night we went to see Dying Young. Terrific. I laughed till I peed. And then I laughed at that.
Quote from Dorothy
Blanche: Hey! Anyway, Dorothy, these new hearing aids just fit right in the ear canal. Nobody can even see 'em, so what does it matter?
Dorothy: It matters because it's a step I don't want to take. Look, I don't mind being divorced or having to struggle to pay my bills or having to eat my weight in supplements every morning, but I will not do this. I will not become an old person. [holding her shoulder] Ooh, rain's coming.
Quote from Sophia
Sophia: Come on, Dorothy, I'm kidding. I read that flyer you brought home. Every time you get a pamphlet, I get that disease. And not just diseases. I thought for a while I was a Jew for Jesus.
Rose: Hi, Sophia.
Sophia: Shalom.
Quote from Rose
Rose: Of course, that was before he met Blanche. Pretty, affectionate, fun-loving Blanche. Say, where is old Happy-pants?
Dorothy: She and Ma went to the Philharmonic.
Rose: I thought you were going to that.
Dorothy: Why bother? It's not like I'd be able to enjoy it.
Rose: True. On the other hand, Beethoven was also deaf, so you'd be hearing the music the way he wrote it.
Quote from Dorothy
Dorothy: Honey, why don't we ask Blanche?
Rose: Oh, I can't talk to Blanche. When I'm upset, everything comes out wrong. Face it, Dorothy, I don't have your quick wit, your conversation skills, your- Your way with- With-
Dorothy: Words?
Rose: Words. Thank you. I'd probably end up calling her a slut.
Dorothy: Oh, come on. Honey, "slut" is a little harsh. I mean, Blanche isn't that bad.
Blanche: Oh, my God, I can barely walk.
Dorothy: Although "slut" does have a documentary feel to it.
Quote from Rose
Dorothy: Wait a minute, Rose, have you seen the rest of these pictures?
Rose: I'd rather not.
Dorothy: Honey, I think there's some mistake. Look, here's Blanche in bed with Charlie, but this one's Blanche in bed with a pontoon boat. Here's Blanche in bed with the big orange from the Sunkist building, and here's Blanche in bed with the Country Bear Jamboree.
Blanche: Honey, do you know what this means?
Rose: I sure do. My God, you're an animal!
Quote from Rose
Blanche: What about this? You still want this old camera?
Rose: Where did you find that? That was Charlie's camera. And it still has film in it. Oh, I bet these are the pictures from Charlie's last birthday. I took most of our savings, and I- I bought him a couple of acres of the most beautiful land in Minnesota. Oh, girls, you should've seen the look on his face when it was delivered.
Quote from Sophia
Sophia: I need some coffee.
Blanche: Oh, I'd love a cup, Sophia.
Rose: Oh, me, too.
Sophia: Oh, sure, make the oldest one in the tribe serve the young. And after you have your fill, I'll go to the mountaintop and let the wolves eat me.
Quote from Blanche
Rose: You- You harlot!
Blanche: Oh, Rose, I'm sore because I was using your Exercycle.
Rose: I'm talking about this picture.
Blanche: Oh, my God, where did you find this? Oh, I'm so embarrassed. My hair, it looks like a helmet.
Dorothy: Blanche!
Blanche: It's all bunched up and pointy. Honey, you gotta burn this. I look like the Rocketeer.