Rose: Wait a minute. If you didn't sleep with any of the men in these journals, then how come it says "Bed" on the cover?
Blanche: [laughs] Oh, that doesn't say "Bed".
Rose: Right there, it does.
Blanche: Oh, silly, those are my initials. Blanche Elizabeth Devereaux.
Dorothy: Your initials spell "Bed"?

Sophia: Well, I've got two tickets here for the final night of the Philharmonic, and one of them has your name on it. Here you go, Opus.
Dorothy: I thought you two went last night.
Sophia: I traded those for these. Actually, last night we went to see Dying Young. Terrific. I laughed till I peed. And then I laughed at that.

Blanche: Hey! Anyway, Dorothy, these new hearing aids just fit right in the ear canal. Nobody can even see 'em, so what does it matter?
Dorothy: It matters because it's a step I don't want to take. Look, I don't mind being divorced or having to struggle to pay my bills or having to eat my weight in supplements every morning, but I will not do this. I will not become an old person. [holding her shoulder] Ooh, rain's coming.

Sophia: Come on, Dorothy, I'm kidding. I read that flyer you brought home. Every time you get a pamphlet, I get that disease. And not just diseases. I thought for a while I was a Jew for Jesus.
Rose: Hi, Sophia.
Sophia: Shalom.

Rose: Of course, that was before he met Blanche. Pretty, affectionate, fun-loving Blanche. Say, where is old Happy-pants?
Dorothy: She and Ma went to the Philharmonic.
Rose: I thought you were going to that.
Dorothy: Why bother? It's not like I'd be able to enjoy it.
Rose: True. On the other hand, Beethoven was also deaf, so you'd be hearing the music the way he wrote it.

Dorothy: Honey, why don't we ask Blanche?
Rose: Oh, I can't talk to Blanche. When I'm upset, everything comes out wrong. Face it, Dorothy, I don't have your quick wit, your conversation skills, your- Your way with- With-
Dorothy: Words?
Rose: Words. Thank you. I'd probably end up calling her a slut.
Dorothy: Oh, come on. Honey, "slut" is a little harsh. I mean, Blanche isn't that bad.
Blanche: Oh, my God, I can barely walk.
Dorothy: Although "slut" does have a documentary feel to it.

Dorothy: Wait a minute, Rose, have you seen the rest of these pictures?
Rose: I'd rather not.
Dorothy: Honey, I think there's some mistake. Look, here's Blanche in bed with Charlie, but this one's Blanche in bed with a pontoon boat. Here's Blanche in bed with the big orange from the Sunkist building, and here's Blanche in bed with the Country Bear Jamboree.
Blanche: Honey, do you know what this means?
Rose: I sure do. My God, you're an animal!

Blanche: What about this? You still want this old camera?
Rose: Where did you find that? That was Charlie's camera. And it still has film in it. Oh, I bet these are the pictures from Charlie's last birthday. I took most of our savings, and I- I bought him a couple of acres of the most beautiful land in Minnesota. Oh, girls, you should've seen the look on his face when it was delivered.

Sophia: I need some coffee.
Blanche: Oh, I'd love a cup, Sophia.
Rose: Oh, me, too.
Sophia: Oh, sure, make the oldest one in the tribe serve the young. And after you have your fill, I'll go to the mountaintop and let the wolves eat me.

Rose: You- You harlot!
Blanche: Oh, Rose, I'm sore because I was using your Exercycle.
Rose: I'm talking about this picture.
Blanche: Oh, my God, where did you find this? Oh, I'm so embarrassed. My hair, it looks like a helmet.
Dorothy: Blanche!
Blanche: It's all bunched up and pointy. Honey, you gotta burn this. I look like the Rocketeer.