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‘Love for Sale’ Quotes Page 1 of 3

The Golden Girls: Love for Sale

623. Love for Sale

Aired April 6, 1991

When the girls take part in a charity auction, Stan wins a date with Dorothy. Meanwhile, Dorothy and Stan become landlords together, and Sophia's brother, Angelo, arrives in Miami in need of a place to live.

Quote from Blanche

Dorothy: Rose, I am not going. It is degrading.
Blanche: Dorothy, come on now. Don't be a stick-in-the-mud. It's for the Children's Hospital. I mean, if you can't degrade yourself for a bunch of sick kids, who can you degrade yourself for?

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Quote from Blanche

Blanche: Believe me, Dorothy, I know what you're going through. I once had a relationship with a man I couldn't get rid of. Every time I turned around, there he was, pathetically underfoot. Long after I outgrew my need for him, he was there with flowers and candy, perfume. I couldn't move without him following me like a puppy dog.
Rose: How'd you finally get rid of him?
Blanche: Monday came, and we both had to go back to work.

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: Now, you can't tell us that a part of you isn't at least a little excited. Remember last year's auction? That rush of euphoria when the auctioneer calls out "Sold!" and you fall into the arms of your valiant Galahad?
Dorothy: My Galahad was a balloon salesman named Sid.
Blanche: Well, hey, who knew that sawed-off little gnome would outbid a Navy admiral? And a fire chief. And that jeweler who was a dead ringer for Mr. Richard Widmark.
Dorothy: Blanche, that was a year ago. How do you remember all this?
Blanche: I tagged 'em for migratory purposes.

Quote from Dorothy

Rose: Dorothy, it really does sound like a great opportunity. On Stan's behalf, Charlie once made a lot of money in business with a partner who was also a lousy, no-good, underhanded, backstabbing worm.
Dorothy: Let me guess, Rose. Ivan Boesky-Vanderfloovenhooven-meistergarbengerbenfleckman.
Rose: That's the louse.

Quote from Dorothy

Dorothy: Wait, wait, wait. I said I'm not going to go, and I am not going to go. It's just that, well, you have different intentions than I do.
Stan: It's not my intentions, it's God's intentions. D-Do you think this is all a coincidence? I mean, look. Your uncle visits, my uncle dies. Your uncle needs a place to live, my uncle gives us a building. Don't you see? God wants us to be together, babe. It's almost Biblical.
Dorothy: And thus he smote your Uncle Morris, huh?
Stan: There's a whole school of thought that says he's a wrathful God.
Dorothy: Yeah, well that would explain your hair.

Quote from Blanche

Sophia: I'm not happy with my zabagliones.
Blanche: Maybe you just need a push-up bra.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: Blanche, zabaglione is a traditional Italian dessert. It's my Uncle Angelo's favorite.
Sophia: Yeah, my brother. He's quite the scungiscoror-or-or.
Dorothy: Even I don't know that one.
Sophia: That wasn't a word. My dentures slipped.

Quote from Rose

Rose: Oh, no thanks. I'm doing what we all should be doing. Dieting for the bachelorette auction next Saturday.
Dorothy: Not all of us. I told you, Rose, count me out. Even if it is for charity, I am not gonna stand up there and allow myself to be sold to the highest bidder like some Holstein cow at a livestock auction.
Rose: Dorothy, livestock don't get chauffeur-driven limousine rides to fancy four-star restaurants and the symphony afterwards. Except during St. Olaf Bicentennial Day.

Quote from Dorothy

Rose: Dorothy, come on. The auction needs you. The children need you. Please, won't you reconsider?
Dorothy: Oh, all right! It's only one night. I'll go, but I'll tell you, I really hate this.
Rose: Oh, come on, Dorothy, that balloon man couldn't have been that terrible.
Dorothy: I got the feeling I was the man's first date that wasn't inflatable.

Quote from Blanche

Dorothy: Can you believe this guy? Like I would think for a minute about being in business with him.
Blanche: Nonsense, Dorothy. You can't pass up a chance to own real estate. It's been a lifesaver for me. You get a bunch of saps to pay your mortgage for you every month while your equity just rises higher and higher, while those poor suckers- What I meant was it's a great opportunity to make new friends.

Quote from Sophia

Rose: "Variety is the watchword for our next bachelorette, Dorothy Zbornak." Come on up, Dorothy.
Blanche: This is perfect. The way the bidding's going, we won't be out more than $20, $30 apiece.
Rose: "If Dorothy's not off winging her way to Molokai to assist Father Damian in his work with the lepers, you can find her hang-gliding high above the Florida Keys."
Dorothy: Rose, where did you get that?
Rose: From your mother. Before she and I talked, I wasn't aware of any of it. "She's a scratch golfer who, under President Jimmy Carter, served as the United States Senate Majority Whip." And she likes to read.
Sophia: [to Blanche] I figured, close with the truth. It'll kind of anchor the rest.

Quote from Dorothy

Rose: More than 10% of it thanks to Dorothy here.
Dorothy: Oh, who's keeping score? What's important is that we made a lot of money. Together we made a consid- They were fighting over me. Did you see it?
Blanche: Well, Dorothy, to be fair, one of 'em was Stan.
Dorothy: Do I sense a tinge of envy there, Miss "going, going, gone" for $25.50?
Blanche: You can't put a price tag on beauty, Dorothy.
Dorothy: Oh, sure you can. $25.50.

Quote from Rose

Dorothy: Oh, I'm sorry, Blanche. No, I'm not blaming any of this on you. It's all my fault for giving Stan so many chances. But I can't do this again. I mean, how many times can I make the same mistake? How many times can you bang your head against the wall before it starts to bleed?
Rose: Nine.

Quote from Dorothy

Dorothy: Thank you, Blanche. And thank you too, Rose.
Rose: What did I say?
Dorothy: Nothing. And I can't tell you how much I appreciate it.

Quote from Sophia

Stan: I need you, Dorothy! I want you! Without you, I'm nothing. Do you hear me? Nothing.
Dorothy: Stan, as much of a turn on as this is, get off the floor.
Stan: I belong on the floor if I've driven you out of my life. From this moment on, the floor is my home.
Dorothy: Enjoy.
Sophia: Dorothy!
Dorothy: I can explain, Ma-
Sophia: No need to, Pussycat. Let's move quick before the cops get here. You wipe for fingerprints, I'll get a shovel and a Hefty bag.
Stan: Sophia.
Sophia: Oh, great. It figures you couldn't finish the job. I'm gonna go get the toaster.

Quote from Dorothy

Dorothy: Stanley, stop it. I am not going out with you. I would rather be bound and gagged and left on an anthill covered with honey.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: Ma, Uncle Angelo's plane lands at 4:00. You have plenty of time to make a fresh batch before then.
Sophia: Good, because these aren't fit for human consumption.
Rose: Top of the morning, sunshines.
Sophia: Hey, Rose, try one of these.

Quote from Sophia

Rose: Hey, I have an idea. Dorothy just did something really nice for us. Why don't we do something nice for her? Why don't we buy her a man?
Sophia: Well, I'm in, and I know just the person. Free every Saturday night- Oh, wait, that's a woman. Oh, wait, that's Dorothy.

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: Rose, that's not a bad idea. We were all gonna donate money anyway. We could chip in, say, 50 bucks and buy her the bull of the ball. Oh, but who do we know who knows a man?
Rose: Blanche, you know hundreds of men.
Blanche: I know. I just like to hear you say it.

Quote from Dorothy

[Dorothy opens the front door]
Stan: Hiya, sweetie pie. How ya doin'?
Dorothy: Fine, cupcake. Thanks for asking. [closes door]
Stan: [doorbell rings] Dorothy, I know you're in there.
[Dorothy opens the door]
Stan: You always could slam a door. That's one of the things I love about you.
Dorothy: You flatter me. [closes door again]

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