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‘End of the Curse’ Quotes

The Golden Girls: End of the Curse

201. End of the Curse

Aired September 27, 1986

Blanche is horrified to learn she might be pregnant, but even that's not as bad as when she learns she's going through menopause.

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: I got it, nobody told me. I didn't get it, nobody told me. I figured, "This is life," and ate my meatballs.

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Quote from Sophia

Sophia: I had a cousin once who didn't get her period for twenty years. Then at seventy-two she got pregnant.
Dorothy: Ma, that never happened.
Sophia: Yes, it did.
Dorothy: Oh, come on. Then it must be in the Guinness Book Of Records.
Sophia: It is. The Sicilian one. The Garibaldi Book Of Records.
Dorothy: Ma, no 72-year-old woman ever became pregnant.
Sophia: So what? It cheered her up.

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: Well, my whole childhood, I kept hearing about the curse. How when I was 13, I was going to get the curse. I was absolutely terrified. The year of my 13th birthday, I slept with the lights on all year. Oh, I was sure there was a witch behind every wisteria. I didn't go out on Halloween. I was a wreck. But the year went by and no curse. Then the next year went by, no curse. Then finally, when I was 15, Mama took me to the doctor because I still didn't have the curse. And he said, "Blanche, do you mean to tell me you still don't have your period?" I said, "Well, of course I have my period, you fool. I'm not a child. I've had my period for almost two years. It's the curse I don't have."

Quote from Rose

Dorothy: And they say the Everglades are drying up and being built on.
Rose: No.
Dorothy: Yes. Yes. You know, such a beautiful place. Eventually, there won't be any land anywhere. It's such a shame.
Rose: Oh, it is. It really is. You know what's also a shame?
Dorothy: What?
Rose: When you sit down and your thighs become twice their size, that's a shame.

Quote from Sophia

Rose: Oh, I am just so excited about this. Mink breeding is great idea.
Dorothy: You know, I didn't think you'd like it.
Rose: Why?
Dorothy: Well, I know how you feel about animals. And since we're breeding mink for fur, eventually they'll have to be killed. And I just didn't think you'd go for it.
Rose: Do they have to be killed?
Sophia: No, Rose. Many women like wearing coats that urinate.

Quote from Rose

Rose: I understand. I grew up on a farm. I'm used to it. You see, farmers, they love their animals and still kill 'em because it's the cycle of life. Good animals serve man and then they go to heaven.
Dorothy: Heaven?
Rose: Yes. Heaven's full of cows and chickens and horses and pigs.
Sophia: I hope heaven has boots.

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: See, it starts out red, and if it doesn't change color, they say you're not pregnant. If you are, it turns pink or grey.
Rose: I had drapes that color once. I think it's called puce.
Blanche: Is that what puce is? I always wondered.
Rose: That's what the decorator told me.
Sophia: Oh, it looks lavender to me.
Rose: I hated those drapes.
Blanche: Lavender's a great color on me, brings out my eyes.
Rose: Your eyes aren't lavender.

Quote from Rose

Dorothy: They need an aphrodisiac.
Rose: An African what?
Dorothy: An aphrodisiac. It's a substance that makes you feel sexy.
Rose: Really? Like what?
Dorothy: Like, uh, Spanish fly.
Rose: Spanish flies?
Dorothy: Fly. Fly, Rose. One fly.
Rose: Oh, come on, Dorothy. I've been to Spain. It's not the cleanest country in the world. They got thousands of flies. Valencia alone...
Dorothy: It is not a fly, Rose.
Rose: Spanish fly is not a fly?
Dorothy: No.
Rose: What is it?
Dorothy: It's a beetle.
Rose: They call it a fly but it's really a beetle?
Dorothy: Yes.
Rose: How do they know it's Spanish?
Dorothy: Because it wears a little sombrero, Rose.
Rose: Well, why don't they just call it a beetle, Spanish beetle?
Dorothy: Because they call it Spanish fly.
Rose: Well, what do they call their flies?
Dorothy: I don't care, Rose. Forget it. I don't care. The minks can sit there and we'll lose our money. Just don't mention Spanish fly to me again.
Rose: You're really touchy about these Spanish flies, aren't you?

Quote from Rose

Sophia: Did you see him? Total fruitcake. We're talking serial murderer.
Rose: Well, if somebody tries to murder cereal, he should see a psychiatrist. [laughs]
Dorothy: Don't talk for the rest of the afternoon.

Quote from Blanche

Dr. Barensfield: But why is your life over?
Blanche: Because it is. Because it means I'm old. It means I'm not a real woman anymore.
Dr. Barensfield: All it really means is that you're no longer able to bear children.
Blanche: Oh, it means much more than that. I just don't know how it happened. You know, only yesterday, I was Magnolia Queen. I remember my Aunt Lynette going crazy about that time, my mother saying in a hushed voice, "Oh, she's going through the change." I thought, "Poor Aunt Lynette having to go through this change thing." I had no idea what it was, but I knew one thing for certain, it was never going to happen to me. Now here I am. I'm Aunt Lynette.

Quote from Blanche

Dr. Barensfield: No, you're not. You're Blanche, and all that's happening is a biological process, which means one thing and one thing only: You can no longer have children.
Blanche: Oh, it means more than that. Much more. God, I can't even believe I'm really here. You know, at this point in my life, I can't believe we're having this conversation about me.
Dr. Barensfield: It's hard for you to accept.
Blanche: You know, nobody in my family has ever seen a psychiatrist. Except, of course, when they were institutionalized. It's just so awful. But you're a man. You wouldn't understand.
Dr. Barensfield: Why wouldn't I understand?
Blanche: Well, you don't get old and lose your appeal the way women do. Look at Mr. Cary Grant. Now, he can have any woman he wants and he's in his 80s. You just show me a woman like that in her 50s. And don't say Joan Collins. That woman belongs in a wax museum.

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: I was in bed, eating. If I don't get up and walk around, I'm going to become as big as a hippo. And life, if I can still call it that, has to go on in one form or the other, so here I am. I'll just spend my remaining years in the company of women. Only reason I'm sticking around is to read Danielle Steel's next book.

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: This is all because of the change?
Blanche: God, I hate that expression.
Dorothy: What is the big deal, Blanche? It's nothing. Look at this way. You don't get cramps once a month. You don't go on eating binges once a month. You don't get crazy once a month.
Sophia: You just grow a beard.
Dorothy: Don't listen to her, Blanche.
Sophia: You grow a beard, Dorothy. Believe me. I woke up one morning, I looked like Arafat.
Rose: I never grew a beard.
Sophia: You never grew brains, either.

Quote from Rose

Rose: Then when I stopped, it just happened. I mean, a few hot flashes and that was it.
Blanche: Oh, I've heard about those hot flashes.
Rose: They didn't bother me. I mean, I live in Florida, who can tell the difference between a hot flash and a weather front?

Quote from Dorothy

Rose: Oh, my God.
Dorothy: What?
Rose: I think they're making...
Dorothy: What? What?
Rose: I think they're making a stole.
Sophia: Let me see. Let me see. Yep, they are. We're back in business.
Dorothy: Oh, please.
Blanche: No, they are, Dorothy. They really are.
Dorothy: Oh, they certainly are. But don't count your money yet. Those are the two males.


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