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‘Love Me Tender’ Quotes

The Golden Girls: Love Me Tender

414. Love Me Tender

Aired February 6, 1989

Dorothy starts a purely physical relationship with a man who seems to give off irresistible charm. Meanwhile, Rose and Blanche join a mentor program for teenage girls.

Quote from Rose

Blanche: I guess it's just like that old saying: opposites attract.
Rose: Oh, that's very true. Back in St. Olaf, Ollie Canudenspringle and his wife Bridget were opposites in every way. I mean, he was fat, she was thin. He was neat, she was sloppy. He was tall, she was short. He was cheap, she was extravagant. He was...
Sophia: Opposites. We get the picture.
Rose: Well, anyway, I'll never forget the time they sang at our annual talent show, right after the herring juggling act.
Blanche: You mean to tell me that somebody actually juggled herring.
Rose: No. It was the herring who did the juggling. Tiny little Ginsu knives. Really very dangerous. I mean, one false move, they could have filleted themselves.

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Quote from Blanche

Rose: Oh, the "Be a Pal" program? Well, each week, you get a motherless girl and be her pal. Help her with her homework and take her to movies and have dinner together.
Dorothy: That's very interesting. Maybe I could get involved with that. How about you, Blanche?
Blanche: Sure. Why, nothing would be more satisfying than to be of loving service to a lonely, motherless child.
Of course, I'll have to see pictures of the father before I commit.

Quote from Rose

Eddie: I'm sorry. I'm still not really recovered. You see, after 25 years of marriage, my wife Roberta sent me a Dear John letter.
Rose: That's terrible. Married 25 years and she doesn't know your name is Eddie?

Quote from Rose

Dorothy: But, listen, honey. Don't mention this to anybody. It's a thing that most people probably wouldn't understand.
Rose: Oh, don't worry, Dorothy. Rose Nylund can keep a secret. Do you know what the name Nylund means in Norwegian?
Dorothy: No.
Rose: Well, I'm not telling you.

Quote from Rose

Blanche: You know, there's something rotten in the state of Denmark.
Rose: It's their cheese. They refuse to use preservatives.

Quote from Rose

Blanche: I just haven't found a thing today. I don't look right in American clothes. I have a more European body.
Rose: Oh, in Europe, do they all have big butts too?

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: He should have been here a half-hour ago.
Blanche: Dorothy, according to the rules of etiquette, you should never wait more than 20 minutes for a date.
Sophia: She's already waited six months for a date. What's another half-hour?

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: I hate blind dates. You know, Ma, I never would have agreed to this if it wasn't your best friend Edna's good-looking doctor nephew.
Sophia: Aw, he wasn't available anymore. He decided to buy a woman from the Philippines. Actually, he bought two women. He wanted an extra for formal occasions.
Dorothy: Then who is this guy?
Sophia: Well, to tell you the truth, I was on the bus-
Blanche: Wait a minute. You set Dorothy up with some guy you met on a bus?
Sophia: Please, it wasn't that glamorous. I saw a sign on the bus. It said, "Lonely? Can't make connections with that special person?" So I took $20 out of your purse, sent in a picture, they ran it through the computer and boom, you got a social life.
Dorothy: Ma, I cannot believe you sent my picture in to a total stranger.
Sophia: I didn't send in your picture, I sent the picture that came with my wallet.
Dorothy: Ma, I am furious with you.
Sophia: Think of how mad your date's gonna be when he finds out he's not going out with Janet Gaynor.

Quote from Rose

Blanche: What's in the box, Rose?
Rose: Oh, brochures for the "Be a Pal" program. I'm mailing them out.
Dorothy: How does that work?
Rose: Well, you just put 'em in an envelope and you stick a stamp on them.
Dorothy: Not that, you idiot.

Quote from Rose

Blanche: Well, just let me freshen my makeup. Girls, why don't you come with me and I'll show you how I transform myself into a fresh-faced, innocent, young thing?
Rose: Could you skip the "innocent" part, Blanche? The show starts in two hours.

Quote from Rose

Dorothy: It's about Eddie. You know, I've been seeing him for a week now. I'm having a relationship with him like I've never had with a man before in my life. It is purely physical. Eddie is the greatest lover I have ever had.
Rose: Come on, Dorothy. If we're gonna do this, you have to tell me the truth.
Dorothy: No, I am telling you the truth. Honey, there is more to Eddie than meets the eye. But the only thing we have in common is under the sheets.
Rose: What's under the sheets?
Dorothy: His cappuccino maker. Sex, Rose. I am talking sex. We don't go to dinner, we don't go to the movies, we just go to bed and it is terrific.
Rose: All that and cappuccino too?

Quote from Dorothy

Dorothy: Oh, by the way, Blanche, I borrowed your gold earrings, if that's OK?
Blanche: Oh, it's fine, but I do think I should caution you - they were meant for petite ears.
Dorothy: They'll just have to do until Disney unveils their Dumbo line.

Quote from Sophia

Blanche: I mean between Dorothy and Eddie. There is something peculiar in that relationship.
Sophia: You're right. And I'm gonna find out what it is or my name isn't Sophia... Sophia...
Blanche: Sophia Petrillo.
Sophia: Oh, yeah. Maybe the doctor is right. Maybe I do need all three pills a day.

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: Boy, I wish I'd married Bing Crosby when I had the chance.
Blanche: Why? Because he was such a strict disciplinarian?
Sophia: No, because now I'd be a wealthy widow with my own place in Pebble Beach, so I wouldn't have to listen to that crap.

Quote from Dorothy

Rose: I wonder why Sophia didn't answer.
Dorothy: She probably thought it was me calling and decided not to answer. It's a little guilt trick she's used on me ever since I was 15. That and having major surgery and telling me about it two days later. Sometimes she didn't even need the surgery.
Blanche: That's guilt.

Quote from Rose

Dorothy: Oh, God, that's Eddie. I don't know if I can go through with this.
Rose: Oh, now, Dorothy, don't worry. We're both right beside you to help you through it.
Dorothy: It's not that easy. Eddie has some kind of a strange hold over me.
Blanche: Oh, baloney. Eddie is just a man, cut from the same cloth as the many men who have dumped you over the years. Just think of him as all those men, Dorothy. Become the dumper before you become the dumpee.
Dorothy: You're right. I'm gonna get rid of him just the way Paul Bennington got rid of me. The way Steve Mendlebaum got rid of me. The way Tom...
Rose: We'll be here all afternoon. Can you just open the door?


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