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‘Love Me Tender’ Quotes Page 1 of 3

The Golden Girls: Love Me Tender

414. Love Me Tender

Aired February 6, 1989

Dorothy starts a purely physical relationship with a man who seems to give off irresistible charm. Meanwhile, Rose and Blanche join a mentor program for teenage girls.

Quote from Rose

Blanche: I guess it's just like that old saying: opposites attract.
Rose: Oh, that's very true. Back in St. Olaf, Ollie Canudenspringle and his wife Bridget were opposites in every way. I mean, he was fat, she was thin. He was neat, she was sloppy. He was tall, she was short. He was cheap, she was extravagant. He was...
Sophia: Opposites. We get the picture.
Rose: Well, anyway, I'll never forget the time they sang at our annual talent show, right after the herring juggling act.
Blanche: You mean to tell me that somebody actually juggled herring.
Rose: No. It was the herring who did the juggling. Tiny little Ginsu knives. Really very dangerous. I mean, one false move, they could have filleted themselves.

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Quote from Blanche

Rose: Oh, the "Be a Pal" program? Well, each week, you get a motherless girl and be her pal. Help her with her homework and take her to movies and have dinner together.
Dorothy: That's very interesting. Maybe I could get involved with that. How about you, Blanche?
Blanche: Sure. Why, nothing would be more satisfying than to be of loving service to a lonely, motherless child.
Of course, I'll have to see pictures of the father before I commit.

Quote from Rose

Eddie: I'm sorry. I'm still not really recovered. You see, after 25 years of marriage, my wife Roberta sent me a Dear John letter.
Rose: That's terrible. Married 25 years and she doesn't know your name is Eddie?

Quote from Rose

Dorothy: But, listen, honey. Don't mention this to anybody. It's a thing that most people probably wouldn't understand.
Rose: Oh, don't worry, Dorothy. Rose Nylund can keep a secret. Do you know what the name Nylund means in Norwegian?
Dorothy: No.
Rose: Well, I'm not telling you.

Quote from Rose

Blanche: You know, there's something rotten in the state of Denmark.
Rose: It's their cheese. They refuse to use preservatives.

Quote from Rose

Blanche: I just haven't found a thing today. I don't look right in American clothes. I have a more European body.
Rose: Oh, in Europe, do they all have big butts too?

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: He should have been here a half-hour ago.
Blanche: Dorothy, according to the rules of etiquette, you should never wait more than 20 minutes for a date.
Sophia: She's already waited six months for a date. What's another half-hour?

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: I hate blind dates. You know, Ma, I never would have agreed to this if it wasn't your best friend Edna's good-looking doctor nephew.
Sophia: Aw, he wasn't available anymore. He decided to buy a woman from the Philippines. Actually, he bought two women. He wanted an extra for formal occasions.
Dorothy: Then who is this guy?
Sophia: Well, to tell you the truth, I was on the bus-
Blanche: Wait a minute. You set Dorothy up with some guy you met on a bus?
Sophia: Please, it wasn't that glamorous. I saw a sign on the bus. It said, "Lonely? Can't make connections with that special person?" So I took $20 out of your purse, sent in a picture, they ran it through the computer and boom, you got a social life.
Dorothy: Ma, I cannot believe you sent my picture in to a total stranger.
Sophia: I didn't send in your picture, I sent the picture that came with my wallet.
Dorothy: Ma, I am furious with you.
Sophia: Think of how mad your date's gonna be when he finds out he's not going out with Janet Gaynor.

Quote from Rose

Blanche: What's in the box, Rose?
Rose: Oh, brochures for the "Be a Pal" program. I'm mailing them out.
Dorothy: How does that work?
Rose: Well, you just put 'em in an envelope and you stick a stamp on them.
Dorothy: Not that, you idiot.

Quote from Rose

Blanche: Well, just let me freshen my makeup. Girls, why don't you come with me and I'll show you how I transform myself into a fresh-faced, innocent, young thing?
Rose: Could you skip the "innocent" part, Blanche? The show starts in two hours.

Quote from Rose

Dorothy: It's about Eddie. You know, I've been seeing him for a week now. I'm having a relationship with him like I've never had with a man before in my life. It is purely physical. Eddie is the greatest lover I have ever had.
Rose: Come on, Dorothy. If we're gonna do this, you have to tell me the truth.
Dorothy: No, I am telling you the truth. Honey, there is more to Eddie than meets the eye. But the only thing we have in common is under the sheets.
Rose: What's under the sheets?
Dorothy: His cappuccino maker. Sex, Rose. I am talking sex. We don't go to dinner, we don't go to the movies, we just go to bed and it is terrific.
Rose: All that and cappuccino too?

Quote from Dorothy

Dorothy: Oh, by the way, Blanche, I borrowed your gold earrings, if that's OK?
Blanche: Oh, it's fine, but I do think I should caution you - they were meant for petite ears.
Dorothy: They'll just have to do until Disney unveils their Dumbo line.

Quote from Sophia

Blanche: I mean between Dorothy and Eddie. There is something peculiar in that relationship.
Sophia: You're right. And I'm gonna find out what it is or my name isn't Sophia... Sophia...
Blanche: Sophia Petrillo.
Sophia: Oh, yeah. Maybe the doctor is right. Maybe I do need all three pills a day.

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: Boy, I wish I'd married Bing Crosby when I had the chance.
Blanche: Why? Because he was such a strict disciplinarian?
Sophia: No, because now I'd be a wealthy widow with my own place in Pebble Beach, so I wouldn't have to listen to that crap.

Quote from Dorothy

Rose: I wonder why Sophia didn't answer.
Dorothy: She probably thought it was me calling and decided not to answer. It's a little guilt trick she's used on me ever since I was 15. That and having major surgery and telling me about it two days later. Sometimes she didn't even need the surgery.
Blanche: That's guilt.

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