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‘Girls Just Wanna Have Fun... Before They Die’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

The Golden Girls: Girls Just Wanna Have Fun... Before They Die

610. Girls Just Wanna Have Fun... Before They Die

Aired November 24, 1990

Sophia asks Blanche for advice on how to please her new boyfriend, Tony. Meanwhile, Rose avoids being intimate with Miles during a drought in St. Olaf.

Quote from Rose

Dorothy: Rose, what does the letter say?
Rose: You read it, Dorothy. I need both hands to cover my ears in case it's bad news.
Dorothy: "Dear St. Olafian, I'm afraid there's bad news."
Rose: What?
Dorothy: "There's a drought in St. Olaf which threatens the crops."
Rose: Oh, no. I better send water.
Dorothy: "Please do not send water. We have found that envelopes leak. Until the rains come, we ask that all citizens be celibate, except for Ulf, the Umbrella King. He has suffered enough."
Rose: Well, if it'll help bring in the crops.

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Quote from Sophia

Sophia: What if I got gorgeous for nothing? What if Tony doesn't even notice me?
Blanche: Well, that's his hard luck. There are other fish in the sea.
Sophia: The only ones my age are floating on the top.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: Ma, remember. Don't do anything I wouldn't do.
Sophia: I think I crossed that line when I got a date.

Quote from Sophia

Rose: Hi, Sophia. How was your date last night?
Sophia: Tony Delveccio is a dreamboat. I wouldn't mind glancing over at the night table and seeing his teeth next to mine.
Dorothy: Ma, please. I mean, it's probably silly, but I'm not that comfortable hearing about your romantic escapades with men.
Sophia: Then you're gonna hate this. I fantasize about him all day. Last night, I dreamed I was Joan of Arc, and he was coming at me with a hose.
Dorothy: Ma, maybe it was just a religious-experience dream.
Blanche: Did he put out the fire?
Sophia: Three times.
Blanche: Wow, the seldom-achieved Joan of Arc fantasy triple. Sophia, I hate you.

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: I think I'm falling in love. I haven't felt his way since your father. But Tony looks at me as a friend, as a companion.
Dorothy: Honey, nothing wrong with that.
Sophia: Yeah, but I'm picturing him naked, and I'm not laughing.

Quote from Sophia

Blanche: If you want my advice, I think you should sleep with him.
Sophia: Done.
Dorothy: That is not what she wants.
Rose: Dorothy, the man came at her with a hose.
Dorothy: Oh, come on, Ma. You haven't known him that long. Take your time. After a few months, better yet, a few years, then you can start thinking about a more physical relationship.
Sophia: Look who's giving away years here. You know my motto - today could be the last day of the rest of the your life.

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: Sophia, I'll bet with a few tips from me, you can have this guy Tony in bed in no time.
Sophia: That's good, because that's exactly how much time we have.
Dorothy: Now, my mother does not do that.
Sophia: Yes, I do. I've just been in dry dock. I'm back now. I'm suited up, Coach. Put me back in the game.
Blanche: OK, but you have to listen to everything I say. When I say "jump," you say, "On who?"

Quote from Rose

Rose: I just got a special-delivery letter from St. Olaf. Uh-oh, it's from the Department of Water and Coffee.
Dorothy: Coffee?
Rose: No, thanks. It makes me jumpy.

Quote from Rose

Blanche: Oh, you cannot possibly believe that abstaining is gonna change the weather?
Rose: Blanche, I don't think you realize how powerful sex is. Once, Charlie and I actually did it till the cows came home. 'Course, I was wearing a bell.
Dorothy: Of course. Hence the nickname "Dingdong."
Rose: Hey, you're probably right.

Quote from Rose

Rose: I'm gonna call him, and I'm gonna tell him the truth. You were right all along, Dorothy. The truth is always the best.
Dorothy: That is very wise, Rose.
Rose: Well, I don't want you to think I just made that up. I saw it this afternoon on TV when I was watching the new Lassie. You know, that's actually an interesting story. You see, the new Timmy was lost, and the new Lassie was trying to tell the new grandpa where he was, so the new Lassie-
Dorothy: Rose, did I ever tell you that I cry every Tuesday at 8:05? Excuse me. [exits]

Quote from Rose

Rose: [answering phone] Hello. Oh, Helgie. So what's going on in St. Olaf? I can't understand ya, honey. Are you moaning? No. Say it slowly. Oh, God, it's raining. Oh, God, it's raining. Oh, God... Oh, God, it's raining! Here, I've gotta get to Miles.
Blanche: [listening to phone] Boy, it must be pouring.

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: You don't have to lie to Miles. Just don't tell him the truth. Turn this thing to your advantage. Now, if you hold Miles at bay, amazing things will start to happen. He'll become more attentive, send you flowers. He'll be a prisoner of love, and you'll be the warden. And if you're interested, I have costumes for both of you to rent.
Dorothy: Blanche, first, you tell my mother to sleep with a stranger, now this? I mean, what makes you think you know everything about the opposite sex?
Blanche: Let the record speak for itself. I have had 143 relationships.
Dorothy: And no convictions.

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: Rose, listen. Now, you have a very critical date coming up. Everything I said would happen has. He's been more attentive, he's sent you flowers, he's done your laundry and returned most of it. We're right on schedule, but tonight he's gonna ask you if you're seeing other men. Do you know what you're gonna say?
Rose: I'm not sure.
Blanche: Just be bold, be brazen, be brutal. Now, what are you gonna say?
Rose: [sassy] I'm not sure.
Blanche: Rose, if you're gonna be my lump of clay, you gotta be a little bit smarter. When he asks you if you're seeing other men, just tweak his nose and say, "My, my, sir, I do believe you're jealous."
Dorothy: What about the vapors, Blanche? Shouldn't she be overcome by the vapors?

Quote from Blanche

Sophia: [o.s.] Blanche, can I come out now?
Blanche: Oh, yeah. Hold it just a minute. Girls, I want to present Blanche Devereaux's latest creation. I took an 84-year-old woman and made her look like a 65-year-old drag queen. Then I said to myself, "Blanche, too much rouge." So, after a few minor adjustments, may I present the new Sophia Petrillo.
Dorothy: Ma, are you in there?
Sophia: You know, this is the first time in years I felt like the real me. Should these be lower?

Quote from Sophia

Blanche: Take your glasses off. And it's a good idea if you can find something to compliment him on.
Sophia: [opening door to Miles] Hi. Is it my imagination, or do you have less hair on your knuckles?
Miles: Well, it could be, Sophia. At my age, everything starts to go.
Rose: Sophia, it's Miles.
Miles: Hey, you look beautiful.
Sophia: Boy, it has been a long time for you, hasn't it, big fella?

Quote from Blanche

Rose: What do I do if he wants to go back to his place?
Blanche: Tell him you have a lot of work you have to do at home.
Rose: I don't wanna lie.
Blanche: When you get home, we'll make ya clean out the garage.
Rose: Thanks, Blanche, I owe you one.

Quote from Sophia

Tony: Hi, Sophia.
Sophia: Hi. You remember Blanche and my Aunt Dorothy.

Quote from Sophia

Tony: Sophia, you look enchanting. If I wasn't such a gentleman, I'd try to ply you with wine and take advantage of you.
Blanche: There's a liquor store on the corner.
Dorothy: She can't drink. It mixes with her medication.
Sophia: Beautifully.

Quote from Sophia

Blanche: Aren't they adorable?
Sophia: Seems like only yesterday I was putting her into the home.

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: Good night, pussycat. You have nothing to worry about.
Dorothy: Ma, be good.
Sophia: I promise.
[cut to Sophia and Tony in bed:]
Tony: You're good.
Sophia: A promise is a promise.

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