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‘Miles to Go’ Quotes

The Golden Girls: Miles to Go

615. Miles to Go

Aired January 19, 1991

Rose is stunned after Miles reveals he's in the Witness Protection Program and asks her to move back to Chicago with him.

Quote from Rose

Miles: I mean, it is amazing, isn't it, how with a few carefully chosen words, a poet can convey the immediacy of a specific life experience?
Rose: You don't have to tell me. Remember, I grew up in a small farm town. "Here a quack, there a quack, everywhere a quack, quack."

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Quote from Sophia

Rose: It's the 117th anniversary of the birth of Robert Frost.
Sophia: I love him. Always nippin' at your nose.
Rose: That was Jack Frost. Robert Frost is the guy who interviewed Richard Nixon on TV. Who's the dumb one now?
Dorothy: Ah, you're still the reigning champ, Rose. That was David Frost. Robert Frost was a famous American poet.
Sophia: And when I was with him, he was always nippin' at my nose. Some people found it obnoxious. For me, it was a turnon.

Quote from Rose

Miles: The point is, it all would have been behind me, but he escaped. The government had to put me in the Witness Protection Program. Gave me a new name, new job, whole new identity.
Rose: I don't know what to say. I can't believe this story you're telling.
Dorothy: But you can believe the story about Henrik Felderstuhl, St. Olaf's half-man, half-grasshopper?
Rose: Dorothy, I'm telling you, when he rubbed his legs together, you'd swear you were on a camping trip.

Quote from Rose

Rose: Now I know how my friend Mary Jane von Helfenpfelfer felt.
Blanche: Oh, well. Considering what you've been through, go ahead, Rose.
Rose: She took a vacation to Mexico and she found this poor, scrawny, helpless little Chihuahua puppy on the street. And she brought it home to St. Olaf with her, and she nursed it back to health. She loved it. She took it to bed with her. She taught it to fetch. She'd throw a ball, and he'd bring it back, and she'd throw a ball, and he'd bring it back. Well, I guess I don't have to tell you that's pretty much what "fetch" is.
Dorothy: How much longer are we gonna circle the airport, Rose? You wanna bring this baby in?
Rose: When she took the puppy to get his shots, the vet told her the bad news. He said, "Mary Jane, this is no Chihuahua, this is a rat."
Dorothy: And the point, Aesop?
Rose: I thought Miles was a Chihuahua. It turns out he was a rat.

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: Uh, price tag pinned to right sleeve.
Dorothy: What are you doing?
Blanche: Oh, I'm taking the tags off this dress and saving them so I can put them back on again tomorrow. That way, when I take it back, they won't know I've worn it.
Dorothy: You're going to wear a dress, then return...? Blanche, that's illegal.
Blanche: Oh, it is not illegal. It's just wrong. See, I love the dress, but I can't afford it, not $300 worth. And I have a late date tonight, so I want to look stunning for it. Besides, it's not like I'm gonna wear it all that much. I'm just gonna put it on and take it off. Then put it on and come home and take it off again.

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: Dorothy, great news. Gladys Goldfein called. She's taking me to see Tony Bennett.
Blanche: Oh, Sophia, that's terrific.
Sophia: Tell me about it. I won't have to spend that evening with Dorothy. No offense, my little Scrabble-holic, but there's more to life than a double-word score.
Dorothy: Strange attitude coming from a woman who tried to choke me because I challenged the word "flot."

Quote from Sophia

Rose: Hi, everybody. Do we all remember what today is?
Sophia: I'll go out on a limb and say Thursday. But you can't go by me. I'm in and out on my children's first names.

Quote from Rose

Rose: Miles is cooking dinner to celebrate Frost's birthday. He invited us all, and we accepted.
Blanche: I don't remember ever agreeing to that.
Rose: Sure you did. I distinctly remember you said, "Oh, boy, Miles reading poetry. Sign me up. Sign me up." You sounded pretty definite.
Blanche: Sarcasm, Rose. That's like when I say, "You're so lucky to be a natural blonde."
Rose: Thank you.

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: Hey, look, there's a black guy doing the news, and it isn't even the weekend.
Dorothy: Ma, did you turn that on?
Sophia: Poltergeist.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: Ma, what is it?
Sophia: Gladys wants to take a man to Tony Bennett in my place.
Blanche: Oh, Sophia, calm down, honey. It's all right if you want to drop your girlfriend because a man asks you out. That's the law of the jungle.
Sophia: Thank you, Sheena, Queen of the Slut People.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: I am not paying for the dress. I will pay for the dry cleaning and that's all. I told you before, you can't return something after it's been worn.
Blanche: I certainly can't now after your little spasm. I wanted to wear something tonight that Duane's never seen me in.
Sophia: Maybe you should try underwear.

Quote from Rose

Rose: I don't know what's real anymore. When I think of the things I've told Miles, the things he's told me. The things we've told each other. Things we've said in a restaurant. Things we've said on our way to a restaurant. Things we've said on the way home-
Dorothy: The two of you shared! We get it!
Rose: But who was I sharing with? If you say something to somebody who isn't really who he is, have you actually said anything or not? And if he's heard it as someone he really isn't, has anything you've said actually been heard?
Sophia: Sorry, I wasn't listening.

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: You know, I once prepared a six-course meal with what I thought was chicken. But it turned out to be a-
Dorothy: Ma!
Dorothy: Rose, in my heart, I cannot believe that Miles is a rat. He just fell in with the wrong people, that's all. Now look, I know you have a date with him tomorrow night. Keep it. I'm sure you'll find he's the same caring, sensitive man you've known all along. [to Sophia] My God, it wasn't my confirmation dinner, was it?
Sophia: Your pop sure made everyone laugh when he made the little feet dance.

Quote from Rose

Dorothy: Rose, how did your date go?
Rose: Oh, Dorothy, you were absolutely right. It was better than I could've dreamed. When we sat down to our meal, Nick ordered a whiskey neat and a shrimp cocktail. Which was positively uncanny, because Miles always began his meal with a whiskey neat and a shrimp cocktail.
Dorothy: You haven't had much experience with the uncanny, have you, Rose?

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: I'm so sorry about this, Miles.
Sophia: Can we get this guy outta here? I don't want to be killed at my age. That would be like getting tackled on the one-yard line.


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