TV Quotes

Rose: Wait a minute. If you didn't sleep with any of the men in these journals, then how come it says "Bed" on the cover?
Blanche: [laughs] Oh, that doesn't say "Bed."
Rose: Right there, it does.
Blanche: Oh, silly, those are my initials. Blanche Elizabeth Devereaux.
Dorothy: Your initials spell "Bed"?

Sophia: Well, I've got two tickets here for the final night of the Philharmonic, and one of them has your name on it. Here you go, Opus.
Dorothy: I thought you two went last night.
Sophia: I traded those for these. Actually, last night we went to see Dying Young. Terrific. I laughed till I peed. And then I laughed at that.

Blanche: Hey! Anyway, Dorothy, these new hearing aids just fit right in the ear canal. Nobody can even see 'em, so what does it matter?
Dorothy: It matters because it's a step I don't want to take. Look, I don't mind being divorced or having to struggle to pay my bills or having to eat my weight in supplements every morning, but I will not do this. I will not become an old person. [holding her shoulder] Ooh, rain's coming.

Sophia: Come on, Dorothy, I'm kidding. I read that flyer you brought home. Every time you get a pamphlet, I get that disease. And not just diseases. I thought for a while I was a Jew for Jesus.
Rose: Hi, Sophia.
Sophia: Shalom.

Blanche: Wish me luck.
Dorothy: Wait. Blanche, why should you do it?
Blanche: Because we'll have a better chance. I happen to be a wonderful orator. And two of the commissioners can verify that.
Dorothy: Blanche, "orator" means "speaker".
Blanche: Really? Oh. Well, somebody else do the talking.

Blanche: Oh, hello there. I don't believe we've been introduced. My name is Blanche Deveraux. That's French for Blanche Deveraux.

Dorothy: Blanche, have you ever met a man you didn't think was giving you the eye?
Blanche: Once, in 1976. But it was only two days later that Mr. President Jimmy Carter announced to the American people that he had secretly lusted in his heart.