Dorothy: Well, I lied to Stan. I used to tell him how great he was in bed. It was really very difficult, but fortunately, I only had to tell him on his birthday.

Sophia: Are you two coming? The spaghetti is getting cold!
Rose: We'll be there in a minute. We're in the middle of a makeup lesson.
Sophia: I hope the kid can help you. You wear more rouge than Miss Piggy!

Rose: What's the biggest lie you've ever told?
Blanche: I once told my sister Charmaine that she was left on our doorstep by gypsies.
Dorothy: What?
Rose: Well, Blanche, why would you want to do a thing like that?
Blanche: She annoyed me. Always mouthing off about how her hair was curlier than mine, her complexion was prettier than mine. I finally said there was good reason for it, she was left by gypsies! I had her completely convinced!
Rose: What did she say when you told her the truth?
Blanche: Oh, I never did. I even tried to help her find her little old gypsy mama.

Charley: And while we're down here, I'm gonna go to astronaut camp.
Blanche: Astronaut camp? There's a camp for astronauts? Is it close by?
Dorothy: Down, Blanche.
Kirsten: It's a special program for young people.
Rose: Isn't that something? My granddaughter wants to be an astronaut!
Charley: Not really, Grandma. I just want to meet boys who want to be astronauts.
Blanche: Me too!

Blanche: Honey, you didn't eat your Brussels sprouts.
Charley: I don't like Brussels sprouts.
Sophia: Neither do I. [opens purse] Put them in here with mine.

Blanche: Wait until you see what I bought. I found the most stunning silk dress, an incredibly revealing lace nightie, and look, these just adorable sequined socks.
Dorothy: Sequined socks.
Blanche: I think they kind of make a personal statement.
Sophia: Yeah, this end up.

Blanche: Dorothy, listen. Before Rose gets here, can I ask you something?
Dorothy: Sure.
Blanche: You don't have to answer if you don't want to.
Dorothy: What is it?
Blanche: If you think it's none of my business, say, "It's none of your business!"
Dorothy: Oh, look, Blanche, you caught me one night sneaking out of the kitchen naked with an Oreo in my mouth. We have no secrets. Now ask your damn question.
Blanche: Have you noticed that Rose has been acting peculiar?
Dorothy: Yes, Blanche, from the first day I met her.

Blanche: My God! It's worse than I thought. Why, this is more baffling than the Paxton Osgood case. First, Rose had to lie about the money, and now she's hiding some deep, dark secret about Charlie.
Dorothy: Well, Blanche, whatever it is, it is none of our business. Come on, Ma. Let's go to bed.
Blanche: No, of course it's our business. We're friends, we're roommates. I have no secrets from you. My whole life is an open book.
Sophia: Your whole life is an open blouse.

Dorothy: Morning.
Rose: Oh, here, taste this.
Dorothy: What is it?
Rose: Oh, it's my special maple syrup, honey, brown sugar, molasses, Rice Krispies log.
Dorothy: How practical. A snack you can panel your den with.
Rose: Some people put flour in it, but I think that makes it too heavy. My kids always liked it this way.
Dorothy: Tell me, Rose, do any of your kids still have their own teeth?

Blanche: Dorothy, just look at this man. He is obviously guilty as sin. I don't even know why they bother with a trial.
Rose: What trial?
Blanche: Oh, the Duncan Osgood trial. That big society murder over in Palm Beach?
Rose: What makes you so sure he's guilty?
Blanche: His wife was found at the bottom of their private lake clutching his dickey in her hand.
Dorothy: Well, that would certainly place him at the scene of the crime.