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‘Sophia's Choice’ Quotes

The Golden Girls: Sophia's Choice

422. Sophia's Choice

Aired April 15, 1989

Concerned at how her friend is being treated in a nursing home, Sophia breaks Lilian out and promises to take care of her at home. Meanwhile, Blanche considers having her breasts enlarged.

Quote from Blanche

Rose: This just makes me so mad. I mean, people like this really need help. Then there are places like Sunny Pastures.
Blanche: Well, there weren't any Sunny Pastures in the South. At least, not when I was growing up. I remember this one old man. His name was Ben. All he did all day long was sit out there on his family's front porch in that old hickory rocking chair and whittle. Just whittle. I used to pass by there on my way home from school, and I'd say, "Hi, Ben." And he'd yell back, "Hi, Blanche. Stay away from my grandsons." Anyway, I realized that Ben could spend all his days happy, whittling away, because his family was there for him. I will never forget that look on his face. He was happier than a Kentucky yearling frolicking in blue grass as high as a hoot owl's perch on the top of a spring-
Dorothy: In English, Jethro! In English!
Blanche: He was happy. Anyway, Ben got older, and I guess a little bit frail, and... This is the hard part of my story. One autumn day, I walked by that porch and old Ben was gone.
Dorothy: I bet he died in the bed he was born in.
Blanche: No, he was sent up the river on a morals charge.

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Quote from Sophia

Sophia: Well, then. That's that. Lillian's problems are solved. Isn't this terrific?
Dorothy: Terrific? Ma, this is wonderful. I mean, this is a real happy ending. So, how come I don't feel all that happy?
Blanche: I don't know. Is it because we know that Lillian's just plain lucky? That a lot of old people do slip through the cracks and are forgotten? And maybe it may not be too long until we're elderly ourselves?
Rose: I know, girls. Let's make a pact that we'll always take care of each other. That we'll never desert each other, no matter what.
Blanche: You can count on me, honey.
Dorothy: Do you think it's gonna be that easy getting rid of me, Rose? That was rhetorical, Rose. Ah, but what a comforting thought, knowing you'll never be alone. And listen, what the hell? If we do have to go to a nursing home, let's all go together.
Rose: But what happens when there's only one of us left?
Sophia: Don't worry. I can take care of myself.

Quote from Sophia

Blanche: It's from your friend Gladys at Shady Pines. She says Lillian was sent to Sunny Pastures.
Dorothy: You see, Ma, your friend is fine.
Sophia: Fine? Are you kidding? Sunny Pastures is the worst nursing home in the city. It's every old person's nightmare. That, and a childproof cap on the Kaopectate bottle.

Quote from Sophia

John Porter: OK, let's fill this out.
Sophia: Uh, please.
John Porter: And you are?
Sophia: Sophia. Sophia Pe- Hawkins.
John Porter: OK, Mrs. Pehawkins, um... Maybe you can tell me a little bit about your mother's history?
Sophia: Picture it. Sicily, 1900. An olive-skinned woman sets sail for the new world.
John Porter: I was talking about her medical history.
Sophia: So was I. You think that was a pleasure cruise? There was smallpox, scurvy, typhoid. And that was business class.

Quote from Sophia

Dan Cummings: Problems, problems, problems. The world is bringing me problems. And you are?
Sophia: We are the world.

Quote from Dorothy

Blanche: Girls, I am so excited. I just got a big bonus at work.
Dorothy: Ah!
Blanche: And guess what I've decided to do with it.
Dorothy & Rose: What?
Blanche: I'm gonna have my breasts enlarged.
Rose: You're not serious, Blanche?
Blanche: Oh, sure I am. Breasts are back in fashion. And what God didn't give me, Dr. Myron Rosensweig will. Oh, that man is the Picasso of plastic surgeons.
Dorothy: Well, just be sure he doesn't attach one of them to your forehead.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: Ma, I haven't seen you all morning. Where have you been?
Sophia: I went to see my friend Lillian.
Dorothy: Lillian, at Shady Pines?
Sophia: Oh, you remember Shady Pines? That retirement home you stuck me in that resembled Sing Sing. My mistake, Sing Sing has a movie night.

Quote from Blanche

Rose: Sophia, how is Lillian?
Sophia: I don't know. She wasn't there. There was someone else in her bed. It was weird.
Blanche: Lillian? Oh, did you say Lillian? My God, you got a call about her this morning. I was so caught up in my breasts, I totally forgot.
Dorothy: It happens to all of us, Blanche. That's why my rent check was late.

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: I have to see if Lillian is OK.
Dorothy: What? Ma, wait. If it'll make you feel better, I'll take you.
Sophia: Oh, good. Now while we're there, will you promise you'll hold my hand the entire time?
Dorothy: Oh, Ma, are you really that scared?
Sophia: No. I just wanna make sure you're not grabbing at brochures behind my back.

Quote from Sophia

Rose: Boy, when you hear horrible stories like that, it brings up so many questions.
Sophia: It sure does. Why do we let things like this happen? Why can't we care for our elderly the way they do in Japan? Why are there 17 sets of hooters on the coffee table?

Quote from Sophia

Orderly: Excuse me, ladies, but visiting hours are over.
Rose: Oh, then I guess we'll just come back-
Sophia: No, we don't. We're not here to visit.
Rose: We're not?
Sophia: No, we're here to see about checking in Mom.
Orderly: You two are sisters?
Sophia: Uh, it's a long, involved, and somewhat sordid story. If you want to get a clearer picture, I suggest you rent the cassette of Chinatown.

Quote from Sophia

John Porter: Hi, I'm John Porter. I'm in charge of admissions.
Sophia: Oh, yeah. Hi. I wanted to talk to you about my mother.
John Porter: About checking her in?
Sophia: No, about her collection of commemorative plates. Of course about checking her in. She's 125. You can't pry the yogurt out of her hands.

Quote from Sophia

John Porter: What I need to know is, does your mother require any special medical care?
Sophia: She does. Uh, an old war injury. Remember the Maine? She didn't. She was a frogman and swam right into the bulkhead. They put a metal plate in her head, and now she gets HBO through her eyeballs. Don't look at me like that. If Tyson has another fight, you may wanna set her up in the rec hall.
John Porter: This is all hard to believe.
Sophia: If it's not true, my name isn't Sophia Pehawkins.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: Ma, sit down. Ma, we need to talk about Lillian.
Sophia: I said I'll take care of her.
Dorothy: Ma!
Sophia: I already take care of you three, so I'll do a little more cleaning, a little more cooking, and make up one more bed in the morning.
Blanche: Sophia, you don't make my bed.
Sophia: I know. It's impossible to put a fitted sheet around a big, hairy guy named Ed.

Quote from Dorothy

Dorothy: Well, I guess it's my shift.
Rose: It's OK, Dorothy. I think she's finally asleep.
Dorothy: Oh, thank God. I am exhausted. I haven't been this tired since my wedding night.
Blanche: Well, a night of unbridled passion should take it out of you.
Dorothy: Who said anything about passion? I was tired from picking up beer cans from Stan's poker buddies.

Quote from Sophia

Rose: Are you OK, Sophia? You're awfully quiet.
Sophia: What? Oh, it's just that talking about Lillian makes me think about the future.
Dorothy: Oh, Ma. Honey, you have nothing to worry about.
Sophia: Who said I was talking about my future? You three aren't exactly spring chickens, you know.

Quote from Dorothy

Dan Cummings: So, you have some concerns about Sunny Pastures?
Dorothy: Actually, they're more like complaints.
Dan Cummings: Oh, complaints? Oh, well, what you need to do is fill out these forms and mail them back to me.
Dorothy: Yes, and then what happens?
Dan Cummings: Then it goes right here into my inbox.
Dorothy: This is outrageous. Lillian's problems cannot wait that long. She is old, she is sick, and she needs better care right now.
Dan Cummings: I agree.
Sophia: What?
Dan Cummings: Look, ladies, Sunny Pastures doesn't operate at a profit. Our patients' social security and Medicare pay most of our bills. The government subsidies pick up the slack so we can meet minimum standards.
Dorothy: Well, then maybe minimum standards aren't enough.
Dan Cummings: Right again. And this year, the government's made cutbacks. We're operating in the red and doing the best we can.
Dorothy: Are you telling me that nothing can be done?
Dan Cummings: Look, I'd love to help your friend. I'd love to help all our patients. And if you have any ideas on how to make it better, I'm all ears.

Quote from Sophia

Blanche: Well, girls, how did it go?
Dorothy: Terrible. I can't believe you live and wind up in a place like Sunny Pastures. I guess money makes the world go round.
Sophia: Hey, you live 80, 90 years, just getting up too fast makes the world go round.

Quote from Blanche

Rose: Well, it's not as nice as Shady Pines, but the staff really seems to care, and the patients are happy.
Dorothy: Rose, that is fantastic. And it won't cost any more than Sunny Pastures?
Rose: Well, that's the one little problem. Lillian's benefits won't quite cover the costs. She'll need another $150 a month.
Dorothy: Little problem? Rose, how could you get our hopes up like that? I mean, who has an extra $150 a month?
Blanche: I do.
Dorothy: What?
Blanche: I do! We'll use that bonus check I got at work.
Dorothy: But, Blanche-
Blanche: Don't try and talk me out of it, now. My mind is made up.
Sophia: Blanche, are you sure?
Blanche: Sure, I'm sure. Lillian ought to be covered for two years with that money in my bosom account.

Quote from Rose

Dorothy: Blanche, I'm proud of you. But why the sudden change of heart?
Blanche: Oh, well. I guess this cosmetic surgery business is pretty trivial, really. I'll do fine with what God gave me. Having Lillian here made me realize that my problems are pretty trite.
Rose: I suppose something like this does make your breasts seem rather small.
Blanche: Well, sort of.


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