Previous Episode Next Episode 

‘Where's Charlie?’ Quotes Page 1 of 3

The Golden Girls: Where's Charlie?

705. Where's Charlie?

Aired October 19, 1991

After Miles gives her a friendship ring, Rose feels that Charlie is sending her a message that he doesn't approve. Meanwhile, Blanche coaches a guy in baseball, and Dorothy writes a letter to her late father.

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: Dorothy, it's past your bedtime.
Dorothy: Ma, I'm 60 years old. I can stay up as late as I want.
Sophia: No, we said when you're 65 you can stay up as late as you want.

Rate

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: Oh, I would like you all to meet Stevie. I'm gonna be coachin' him. He's a professional baseball player.
Dorothy: Oh, you got Blanche's number from the wall in the dugout?
Stevie: Yes, ma'am. And it sure was right. I am having a good time.

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: Now, wait a minute. You're a coaching a baseball player by letting him wear your underwear? Didn't I see this movie? A woman helps a handsome ballplayer and he goes off to live with the Indians. What was it called? Dances with Bulls?
Dorothy: Ma, you're confusing Bull Durham with Dances with Wolves.
Sophia: Ah, what's the difference? You get to see Kevin Costner's buns in both of them.

Quote from Sophia

Blanche: Well, maybe I can't teach Stevie anything about the game, but I can encourage him and give him a shot of self-esteem. Some people are great artists, some are great musicians. I have but one talent.
Sophia: Oh! Oh! I know.
Dorothy: Come on, Ma, too easy.
Sophia: That's what I was gonna say.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: Blanche, just out of curiosity, why don't you check the fruit salad?
Blanche: No way. I'm not goin' anywhere near that refrigerator.
Sophia: Wow, two miracles in one day.

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: Ah, girls, what a great night. Stevie went three for four.
Dorothy: Oh, you were at the game?
Blanche: There was a game? Oh, that man just makes me feel so young. Like I was back in high school again. Remember? Remember how you used to feel when your boyfriend was star of the football team? Oh, look who I'm talkin' to!

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: Blanche, I don't think this is gonna work. Come on, you don't know anything about baseball. You're just misleading this guy.
Blanche: Oh, you're just jealous because I have a healthy sex life and all you have is your mother.
Sophia: Dorothy would rather have me than a healthy sex life. Right, Dorothy?
Dorothy: Right. Not!
Sophia: That's how you talk to your mother? Put that in the letter to your father. How sassy you've gotten since menopause.

Quote from Dorothy

Dorothy: You're a horrible little person.
Sophia: Come on, like you never pretended to be possessed by somebody's dead husband for a couple of laughs.
Dorothy: You know, you have really ruined Rose's relationship with Miles.
Sophia: If you could have seen her face when I talked like Charlie. I almost wet myself.
Dorothy: Listen, you vindictive little sea monkey, you are going to tell Rose the truth.
Sophia: Or?
Dorothy: Remember Shady Pines?
Sophia: Yeah, it wasn't so bad.
Dorothy: I hear they sold it to some Germans.
Sophia: Rose? Rose, sweetheart? Rose?

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: Rose, we have to talk.
Rose: Forget it, Sophia. I'm not talking to you. What you did is the worst thing you've ever done to me.
Sophia: Oh, come on. Worse than the time I buried you up to your neck in sand and let the children throw baseballs at you for 25 cents?
Rose: Well, I can't hold that against you. That was for charity.
Sophia: Yeah, right, charity.

Quote from Dorothy

Dorothy: Well, I finally finished my letter. I got everything down, every little hurt out.
Sophia: This is to me.
Dorothy: I found out during the process that Pop was a pretty good father. But I never really told him I loved him, so I want to make sure I tell you.
Sophia: Oh, pussycat. "Dear Ma. Thanks for giving me life and thanks for making it good. I love you." And I love you, too, pussycat.
Dorothy: And I love you, too. And I'm glad you're my mom.
Sophia: And I'm glad you're my baby. [doorbell rings]
Dorothy: That's probably the schmaltz police.

Quote from Rose

Rose: Boy, Charlie must really be upset about me accepting Miles' ring. Oh, God, if I could just talk to him one more time. I would give every last cent I have.
Sophia: [raising her arms and mimicking Charlie] Wait, Rose.
Rose: What, Sophia?
Sophia: It's not Sophia. It's Charlie. I'm in the old lady's body.
Rose: Come on, Sophia, you're full of- Fruit salad. Charlie? Charlie, I want to believe it's you. Tell me something that only the two of us would know.
Sophia: Don't take any wooden nickels.
Rose: Oh, my God, it is you!

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: Now, what are you doing?
Dorothy: Well, if you must know, I'm writing a letter to Pop.
Sophia: The same Pop who died 17 years ago?
Dorothy: That's right.
Sophia: There's nothing sadder than your daughter losing it before you do.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: Look, Ma, I'm not gonna mail it. I just read somewhere that you can settle your feelings about someone even after they're gone, and there were a lot of things I never told Pop while he was alive. I never even got to say goodbye. So, I'm getting all this stored-up emotion out in a letter.
Sophia: Good idea, pussycat. I'm gonna write one to Mario Lanza.

Quote from Dorothy

Blanche: Well, thank you, Stevie. Now, here's the vitamins. Take them when you get up.
Stevie: Oh, but sometimes I get up at 4:00 a.m. to... Well, you know.
Sophia: I know. Boy, do I know.
Dorothy: Yeah, but I'm sure afterwards Stevie doesn't yell, "Help! Come get me. My feet are asleep."

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: You better be gettin' to bed, darlin', you're in trainin'. Oh, wait a minute, almost forgot. I want you to put this lingerie on under your uniform for battin' practice.
Stevie: I know you said you'd help my game, but do you think this will work?
Blanche: Yes.
Stevie: I can't wear this. Do you have any idea the kind of teasing that goes on in a locker room?
Blanche: Yes.

Page 2 
 Previous Episode Next Episode 
  View another episode