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‘Ebb Tide’ Quotes

The Golden Girls: Ebb Tide

511. Ebb Tide

Aired December 9, 1989

Blanche passes up the opportunity to visit Big Daddy because she's hosting a charity ball. Meanwhile, Sophia tries to earn money for a new TV by renting out rooms to boarders.

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: Oh, good. The newspaper's here. Gimme the classifieds.
Dorothy: Oh, Ma, Ma, you're not gonna answer ads in the personals again, are you? We got a lot of complaints last time.
Sophia: Hey, he asked for a single white female who likes to party, and he got one.

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Quote from Rose

Sophia: Look at this, look! Here's a couple that's willing to pay $400 a night for a room.
Rose: $400? Back in St. Olaf, the most expensive room was $18.50. And that includes the cow.
Dorothy: All right, Rose. Why would you want a cow in the room?
Rose: It's the law.

Quote from Blanche

Dorothy: Blanche. Your picture's in the paper. And there's a big article about the Citrus Festival.
Blanche: What's it say, what's it say?
Dorothy: "Miami will be busy this weekend with ten major conventions." Listen to this. "The highlight being the Citrus Festival Ball, which is being chaired this year by 35-year-old Blanche Devereaux."
Dorothy: How much did that cost you?
Blanche: I don't have to pay for my compliments.
Dorothy: You went to bed with him?
Blanche: Twice. But it's not like I wouldn't have anyway.

Quote from Blanche

Sophia: The classifieds are filled with ads from people who couldn't find a hotel this weekend, and want to rent a room anyplace they can.
Blanche: I'm not opening my home to boarders. Oh, they usually just turn out to be lowlife trash who'll make a mess, and half the time you can't get your money from 'em. Which reminds me, Rose, your rent check is late.

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: [on the phone] Big Daddy? Is that you, Big Daddy? Hello, darling, how are you? Oh, I'm sorry. Well, darling, I can't come see you this weekend. No, no, I mean it. If it had been any other weekend I know, but I'm queen of a ball. Ain't that something? Here, listen to this. Quote: "The highlight being the Citrus Festival Ball, which is being chaired this year by 35-year-old Blanche Devereaux." ... Twice. I probably would have anyway, though.

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: [on the phone] Virginia, honey, is that you? I swear the whole family's coming out of the woodwork. Guess what? I'm queen of a ball. Twice. Yeah, but I probably would have anyway.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: Blanche, honey, are you sure that you don't want one of us to go with you?
Blanche: Don't be silly, I'm fine. I'll just fly up to Atlanta tomorrow morning, tell Big Daddy I love him, and be back here in time to be queen of the ball.
Rose: Blanche, you can't do that.
Blanche: Why not? Big Daddy isn't dead. I think Virginia's just playing a little practical joke.
Sophia: What kind of a person plays a joke like that? You want to play a joke, you ring somebody's doorbell and run away. Or you shorten the leg on somebody's walker so it wobbles. Or you arrange for somebody to go on a long car trip with Rose. You don't tell them their father's dead.

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: And this is the living room.
Dorothy: Oh, Blanche, it's a lovely home. I better go check and see if the water for our tea is boiling.
Blanche: Oh, Dorothy, there's so many memories connected to this room. We used to have our big family reunions in here. Generations of Hollingsworths would gather round Big Daddy with his bourbon and branch. And while he sat there in front of a roaring fire regaling everybody with stories of the Old South, I'd sneak away up to my room and make out with cousin Abernathy.
Dorothy: The room has that sense of tradition.

Quote from Sophia

Rose: Sophia, who are Peter and Maddy and why are they staying in Blanche's room?
Sophia: Because Dorothy's room and your room are already rented.
Rose: Well, where am I gonna sleep?
Sophia: I could rent you half of my room.

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: Look here. This is when I was crowned Azalea Queen. Wasn't I beautiful then?
Dorothy: And you still haven't lost it.
Blanche: Actually, this picture was taken two years after I lost it.

Quote from Rose

Rose: I hate lying! It goes against my nature. I guess that's because growing up in St. Olaf, one day every year, they'd gather all the children who lied in the town square and the mayor would point at them.

Quote from Sophia

Rose: Oh! Blanche's plate! What are we gonna tell her?
Sophia: The truth.
Rose: Good.
Sophia: I just need a few minutes to come up with it.

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: Rose, this was a great weekend! We made $1700. So I can get my TV. And I've worked out what we can tell Blanche about that plate. I wrote it down. You be Rose, why don't I be Sophia. This is what we'll say right after they walk in the door. "Hi, Blanche. You look beautiful. Welcome home. I love you."
Rose: "I broke the plate. I'm such a clumsy fool."
Sophia: OK. Now you can skip down to here.
Rose: I'm not gonna do this!
Sophia: Come on, you gotta. If it's the writing, I can punch it up.

Quote from Sophia

Howard: Look, these plates are collector's items. I'm only doing this because you've said you're in a jam.
Rose: Sir, we have $1700 cash. That's it.
Howard: I'll take it.
Rose: Give him the money, Sophia.
Sophia: But my TV. How about a hundred dollars and we'll show you a good time?

Quote from Sophia

Rose: Oh, it's so good to see you both home. We took good care of your plate, Blanche.
Blanche: Oh, thanks. You know, I became a new person on this trip. I realized that we have so little time while we're here together, we must cherish each and every moment. Now, this plate represents the old me. [throws it on the floor] I feel wonderful. I could go for some cheesecake.
Sophia: [to the heavens] What is this? Sarcasm?

Quote from Dorothy

Blanche: Dorothy, come look at these old pictures. I'm about ten years old in this one. Big Daddy just taught me how to ride a horse.
Dorothy: You were quite a little porker back then, weren't you?
Blanche: I was a little chunky, that's all.
Dorothy: Blanche, the horse's eyes are crossed. Oh, no. You were fat.
Blanche: Every little girl goes through that ugly stage.
Dorothy: Ugly, yes. But this is ugly and fat.
Blanche: All right. You seem to be getting a little bit too much pleasure out of all this.
Dorothy: Sorry, Blanche. It's just that you've always described yourself as being a great beauty. It's interesting to see that you were...
Blanche: Plump.
Dorothy: Fat.
Blanche: Enough.
Dorothy: I'm sorry. Fat, fat, water rat, fifty bullets in your hat.


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