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‘Blanche Delivers’ Quotes Page 1 of 5

The Golden Girls: Blanche Delivers

601. Blanche Delivers

Aired September 22, 1990

Blanche is uncomfortable when her unwed daughter, Becky, comes to town for the delivery of her baby conceived through artificial insemination.

Quote from Dorothy

Dorothy: Oh. It doesn't matter what your parents want. Rose, you're never gonna make them happy. They're just gonna nag you and nag you until you want to grab their throats and choke 'em, but you don't, because you're in a hospital with resuscitating equipment!

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Quote from Rose

Rose: I think it's great that you want to have your baby here. Boy, in St. Olaf, the mother was always with the daughter when she gave birth. And if the mother was out of town, then the mother of the father was there. And if she was out of town, then we'd call Lucky Gunther.
Dorothy: Oh, what the hell. She has a birthday coming up. Why, Rose?
Rose: After the thresher accident, they replaced Lucky's arm with a forceps. Yep. Lucky Gunther. He was in charge of delivering babies and handing out corn at the Rotary picnics.
Dorothy: Shut up, Rose.

Quote from Dorothy

Sophia: How come when company comes, I always have to sleep with Dorothy? How come I always get the short stick?
Dorothy: It's because you are the short stick.

Quote from Sophia

Blanche: Oh. This is a birthing center? Where's the obstetrician? Where's the equipment?
Sophia: Yeah, she'd be better off having the baby in your bedroom. At least you've got stirrups.
Dorothy: And there's a better chance of finding a doctor.

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: You know why I call you pussycat, Pussycat?
Dorothy: Why, Ma? Because you only gave me yarn for Christmas? Because you fed me once and I hung around? Because you used to put me out at night?
Sophia: Because I love pussycats, and I love you. And you were the only one in the family who could catch mice.

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: Oh, my God. Oh, will you just look at him?
Doctor: Mrs. Devereaux, that's the umbilical cord.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: Mornin', Ma. How you feelin'?
Sophia: I'm not sure. What did we have for dinner last night?
Dorothy: Mexican.
Sophia: Oh. Then I'm OK.

Quote from Rose

Rose: Hi, girls. Guess where I'm going.
Dorothy: A sanitarium up north?
Rose: I'm gonna enter the US Senior Sports Classic. And I'm gonna win.
Dorothy: I had no idea that you could skate that well.
Rose: Oh, when I was young, my folks had me train for the US team. Oh, the day the Olympic Committee came to St. Olaf, I was so nervous I put my skates on the wrong feet.
Dorothy: Oh.
Rose: Sonya Henderfinken's.

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: Oh, Rose, for God's sake, you look like a giant elf. Can I borrow that sometime?

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: No, I think it's great that she's brave enough to have that baby by herself.
Sophia: Look who's talking - the president of knocked up and single.
Blanche: Yeah, but at least Dorothy's pregnancy was an accident. My daughter did it on purpose. And went to a sperm bank. A sperm bank. Just the very idea of a bank havin' sperm.
Sophia: At least the government didn't have to bail them out.

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