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‘Blanche and the Younger Man’ Quotes

The Golden Girls: Blanche and the Younger Man

109. Blanche and the Younger Man

Aired November 16, 1985

Blanche starts a relationship with her young jazzercise instructor. Meanwhile, Rose's mother comes to town and feels smothered by her daughter's overprotective attitude towards her.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: Ma, where are you going with all that food?
Sophia: I'm stashing it away from Rose's mother. She's on a special diet. I hate those people. You turn your back for a second, boom boom, your food is gone. Anything on your plate is suddenly on their diet.
Dorothy: Oh, come on, Ma. You haven't even met Rose's mother.
Sophia: I know a lot of old people. They're all the same. They're cranky, they're demanding, they repeat themselves. They're cranky, they're demanding...

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Quote from Blanche

Blanche: I am talking about what's happening between Dirk and me. It's something really special, something fragile and rare. I've only felt this once before. It was during my 17th summer and I was working behind the cosmetics counter at the Rexall drugstore. I was stocking the Maybelline display when I heard this booming voice say, "Excuse me, ma'am. Where are the cuticle scissors?" I turned around and there he was. Our eyes locked, and for one brief moment, there was nobody else on earth but the two of us.
Dorothy: Please, Blanche. Sidney Sheldon tells shorter stories!
Blanche: I know in my heart, if I'd just followed my feelings that day at the Rexall drugstore, today I would be Mrs. Andy Griffith! I tell you what, I'm not gonna make the same mistake with Dirk that I made with Andy.
Dorothy: Didn't she tell us that story before?
Sophia: Yes, but the last time it was Woolworth's, a toenail clipper, and John Cameron Swayze.

Quote from Dorothy

Blanche: You know, I think I can handle this relationship with Dirk. I'm going out with him Saturday night.
Dorothy: Was there ever any doubt?
Blanche: Momentarily. This is strictly off the record, but Dirk's nearly five years younger than I am.
Dorothy: In what, Blanche, dog years?

Quote from Dorothy

Blanche: I'm just a little depressed. For the first time in my life, I feel over 40.
Dorothy: You know why that is, honey?
Blanche: Why?
Dorothy: Because you're over 50.

Quote from Dorothy

Dorothy: What are you doing home?
Rose: I came home early to be with Mother.
Dorothy: No, my mother took her to the track.
Rose: You let her out of the house?
Dorothy: No, she dug a tunnel out of her bedroom with a dessert spoon.

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: Oh, my date with Dirk was a disaster. He was looking for a mother, not a lover. It was humiliating.
Rose: I think it's sweet.
Blanche: You would, Betty Crocker.

Quote from Dorothy

Dorothy: Ma, what makes you think she's old? She's the same age as you.
Sophia: So how come she ordered her a wheelchair at the airport, a special meal on the plane, and put an oxygen tank in the garage?
Dorothy: Maybe she's a disabled welder on a special diet.

Quote from Dorothy

Blanche: How long will you be visiting with us, Mrs. Lindstrom?
Rose: Only a week. Then she's off to Houston to see my brother.
Sophia: Is your name Mrs. Lindstrom?
Blanche: Mrs. Lindstrom, how would you like a little tour of our home while Rose is fixing that snack?
Rose: Oh, I don't think this is a good time for that. Mother's had a big day and I don't want her to get overtired.
Dorothy: Well, she can skip the east wing, Rose.

Quote from Sophia

Rose: Well, maybe tomorrow. Why don't you take a little nap while I fix you something to eat.
Mrs. Lindstrom: Rosie! I'm not a child. I don't need a nap!
Rose: Oh, there's nothing wrong with taking a nap. Bob Hope takes naps.
Sophia: Unless he's in the bedroom now, taking one, I think she'd rather stay here with us.

Quote from Blanche

Dorothy: The only time I get in that position is when I give birth.
Blanche: Oh! Aah, my back!
Dorothy: Are you all right?
Blanche: No, but it's worth it. No pain, no gain. Gotta look good for Dirk. A man his age is used to a trim body with good tone.
Dorothy: Then buy him a Princess phone. What are you doing now?
Blanche: I'm taking my bee pollen and my sheep's liver extract, and my fish oil protein. I'm getting younger with each passing day!
Dorothy: Great. Great. When they defrost Walt Disney, he'll have someone to go out with.

Quote from Dorothy

Rose: Oh, my Lord! She's out on the street and it's almost dark!
Dorothy: Honey, she's fine. She's with my mother.
Rose: Oh, Sophia's different, Dorothy. She's- She's- She's your mother. My mother's led a very quiet life. All this is gonna be too much for her.
Dorothy: Come on, honey. She's out betting on the horses, not rounding them up.

Quote from Sophia

Blanche: Dorothy, look at me. I have turned back the hands of time. Since Dirk asked me out, I've dropped ten years. Why, my face is smooth, my body is taut, and my gears are grinding.
Dorothy: No matter what you do to your face, your body, or your gears, you are still your age.
Sophia: Of course you are. Gravity always takes its toll. Look at me! I used to be a tall, voluptuous blonde with a butt like granite.

Quote from Sophia

Blanche: When Dirk looks at me, you think he sees an old woman? No, he sees a young, vibrant, passionate contemporary.
Dorothy: Blanche, you haven't even been out with him yet.
Blanche: But my instincts are infallible in this. Believe me, I know men.
Dorothy: No arguments here.
Blanche: A husband like Dirk could keep me young another 20 years.
Sophia: Or kill ya.

Quote from Dorothy

Sophia: You almost finished?
Dorothy: Yeah, but I don't want to come out. This is the only peace and quiet I've had in two days. Blanche thinks she's Peter Pan and Rose is turning into Mommie Dearest.

Quote from Rose

Rose: Mother, am I really making you miserable?
Mrs. Lindstrom: Yes, you are. I know you don't mean to, but you are.
Rose: Oh, I'm sorry. I- Won't you stay and give me another chance?
Mrs. Lindstrom: I don't know, Rosie.
Rose: I know I drive you crazy, but it's just because I love you so much. You know, after Daddy died, I just thought I'd never get over it. And Charlie, well, there's not a day goes by that I don't think about him. And now that you're getting older, I'm afraid I'm gonna lose you, too. That's why I fuss over you so much.
Mrs. Lindstrom: I understand, Rosie, but stopping me from living isn't going to stop me from dying.
Rose: Oh, I can't stand to think about it!
Mrs. Lindstrom: Well, then, don't.
Rose: Let's just enjoy what we have.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: Easy, easy, Ma! That's my best china. You got it for me when I got married, you remember?
Sophia: Who could forget? I carried it all the way from Sicily! And for what? So you could get divorced. I should have gotten you something returnable, like a donkey.

Quote from Dorothy

Rose: I don't feel comfortable with her dating a younger man.
Dorothy: I'm not concerned about her dating a younger man. It's just that her expectations are so high.
Rose: You mean you approve?
Dorothy: Well, why not? I mean, what's so terrible? I did it once.
Rose: You? You dated a younger man?
Dorothy: Yes, Rose. Of course, it was before I had the hump on my back.

Quote from Dorothy

Blanche: Don't I know it. Over 50 and over the hill!
Dorothy: Oh, come on, Blanche. Age is just a state of mind.
Blanche: Tell that to my thighs. Oh, I just feel awful. I don't want to go on. No, I can't stand it! I cannot stand it!
Dorothy: Well, I can't, either! Listen, you have your looks, your health. You have a couple bucks in the bank and friends who love you. And that's a hell of a lot more than most people have. And I'm just not going to sit here and listen to you feeling sorry for yourself and neither is Rose. [exits]
Rose: Yeah. [exits]
Blanche: [laughs] She's right.


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