Blanche: Well, I certainly didn't wait for my wedding night, honey. I couldn't. I had these urges. You know, in the South, we mature faster. I think it's the heat.
Dorothy: I think it's the gin.
Blanche: Anyhow, my first was Billy. Oh, I remember it so well, just like it was yesterday. That night under the dogwood trees, the air thick with perfume, and me with Billy. Or Bobby. Yeah, Bobby. Yeah, it was Bobby. Or was it Ben? Oh, who knows? Anyway, it started with a "B."

Blanche: Well, so what happened?
Dorothy: Stanley, that's what happened. Stanley. I went to a drive-in with Stanley. He said he was being shipped off to Korea and would probably die and it would mean so much. That was my part of the war effort. It took three seconds. I wasn't sure that we had done anything, actually until nine months later when the baby came. Then I figured out that we had. You know, that was my only proof.

Rose: I waited till my wedding night.
Blanche: No!
Rose: Yes!
Dorothy: And?
Rose: And, it was a surprise.
Blanche: Well, how is that possible? Another man showed up?
Rose: What I mean is I had never seen a man before.
Blanche: A man?
Rose: You know, a man.
Blanche: No!
Rose: Yes!
Dorothy: What about your father? You mean, you never saw your father?
Rose: My father? Oh, no! My father? Oh, my goodness, no! I would have simply died! Oh, you don't- Oh, my God!
Dorothy: Easy, easy, easy, Rose.
Blanche: Calm down, calm down.
Rose: The only things I ever saw were the animals on the farm. You know, the bulls and the horses.
Blanche: Tough act to follow.
Rose: Actually, that first night I was kind of, well appalled, I guess. But Charlie was very patient. It was really very nice, once I understood that that's what you were supposed to do. That it wasn't some colossal joke, you know? I mean, didn't you think it was a ridiculous thing to do the first time?
Blanche: No!

Dorothy: Rose, Rose, look at me. Rose, listen. You are feeling sorry for yourself. Sure, you're five years older, so am I, so is Blanche. All right, you have a few more wrinkles, so do I, so has Blanche. All right, you're a little thicker around the middle, so is Blanche!

Dorothy: All right, let me see your resume. Come on, come on, come on. OK, now, let's see. Let's see. "Home ec major at Rockport Community College, six months at St. Paul's Business School, thirty-two years of marriage, laid off from your job at Grief Counseling. Hobbies: cheese making, stamp collecting, and Viking history?"
Dorothy: Rose, this stinks.
Rose: Well, it's the truth.
Blanche: Honey, sometimes you have to stretch the truth.

Rose: Pepperoni!
Blanche: Uh-oh.
Dorothy: Don't tell Mom.
Rose: That could be an appetizer.
Blanche: Well, this is good. This is all food that would have spoiled.
Dorothy: Oh, boy. I am so glad that my date with Barry is tomorrow. The fat won't have time to show.
Rose: It won't?
Dorothy: No. It always takes a few days before it shows.
Rose: Where does it go in the meantime?
Dorothy: To Connecticut! How do I know where it goes?

Dorothy: Well, I just want to be svelte for Barry.
Rose: Barry Glick is very important to you.
Dorothy: Barry was the man that I wanted to be the first.
Rose: First where?
Dorothy: On Mars, Rose! My first lover.

Sophia: We're out of pepperoni! I'm starving, and we're out of pepperoni!
Blanche: I'm sorry, Sophia. Would you like some celery stuffed with cottage cheese?
Sophia: I can't eat cottage cheese. It repeats on me.

Dorothy: Hello, hello. Hi, Blanche. How are you, sweet Mother?
Sophia: We're out of pepperoni!
Dorothy: Did you call Dan Rather?
Sophia: I'm starving.
Dorothy: I defrosted some chicken. We'll eat in half an hour.
Sophia: I can't eat chicken. It repeats on me.
Dorothy: Ma, you don't have to make excuses. If you don't want chicken, just say "I don't want chicken."
Sophia: I don't want chicken.
Dorothy: Good.
Sophia: It repeats on me. I want pepperoni.

Dorothy: Blanche, Blanche, would you like some broiled chicken?
Blanche: Oh, no, thank you. I'm having a raw vegetable plate. You probably haven't noticed it, but I've put on three pounds.
Sophia: On each side.
Blanche: I used to have a waist just like Scarlett O'Hara. Well, you know that girl had an 18-inch waistline.
Dorothy: Blanche, that girl and her waistline were fiction.