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‘Job Hunting’ Quotes Page 1 of 3

The Golden Girls: Job Hunting

122. Job Hunting

Aired March 8, 1986

Dorothy and Blanche try to help Rose find another job after the grief counseling center is shut down.

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: Well, I certainly didn't wait for my wedding night, honey. I couldn't. I had these urges. You know, in the South, we mature faster. I think it's the heat.
Dorothy: I think it's the gin.
Blanche: Anyhow, my first was Billy. Oh, I remember it so well, just like it was yesterday. That night under the dogwood trees, the air thick with perfume, and me with Billy. Or Bobby. Yeah, Bobby. Yeah, it was Bobby. Or was it Ben? Oh, who knows? Anyway, it started with a "B."

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Quote from Dorothy

Blanche: Well, so what happened?
Dorothy: Stanley, that's what happened. Stanley. I went to a drive-in with Stanley. He said he was being shipped off to Korea and would probably die and it would mean so much. That was my part of the war effort. It took three seconds. I wasn't sure that we had done anything, actually until nine months later when the baby came. Then I figured out that we had. You know, that was my only proof.

Quote from Rose

Rose: I waited till my wedding night.
Blanche: No!
Rose: Yes!
Dorothy: And?
Rose: And, it was a surprise.
Blanche: Well, how is that possible? Another man showed up?
Rose: What I mean is I had never seen a man before.
Blanche: A man?
Rose: You know, a man.
Blanche: No!
Rose: Yes!
Dorothy: What about your father? You mean, you never saw your father?
Rose: My father? Oh, no! My father? Oh, my goodness, no! I would have simply died! Oh, you don't- Oh, my God!
Dorothy: Easy, easy, easy, Rose.
Blanche: Calm down, calm down.
Rose: The only things I ever saw were the animals on the farm. You know, the bulls and the horses.
Blanche: Tough act to follow.
Rose: Actually, that first night I was kind of, well appalled, I guess. But Charlie was very patient. It was really very nice, once I understood that that's what you were supposed to do. That it wasn't some colossal joke, you know? I mean, didn't you think it was a ridiculous thing to do the first time?
Blanche: No!

Quote from Dorothy

Dorothy: Rose, Rose, look at me. Rose, listen. You are feeling sorry for yourself. Sure, you're five years older, so am I, so is Blanche. All right, you have a few more wrinkles, so do I, so has Blanche. All right, you're a little thicker around the middle, so is Blanche!

Quote from Rose

Dorothy: All right, let me see your resume. Come on, come on, come on. OK, now, let's see. Let's see. "Home ec major at Rockport Community College, six months at St. Paul's Business School, thirty-two years of marriage, laid off from your job at Grief Counseling. Hobbies: cheese making, stamp collecting, and Viking history?"
Dorothy: Rose, this stinks.
Rose: Well, it's the truth.
Blanche: Honey, sometimes you have to stretch the truth.

Quote from Dorothy

Dorothy: Well, I just want to be svelte for Barry.
Rose: Barry Glick is very important to you.
Dorothy: Barry was the man that I wanted to be the first.
Rose: First where?
Dorothy: On Mars, Rose! My first lover.

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: We're out of pepperoni! I'm starving, and we're out of pepperoni!
Blanche: I'm sorry, Sophia. Would you like some celery stuffed with cottage cheese?
Sophia: I can't eat cottage cheese. It repeats on me.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: Hello, hello. Hi, Blanche. How are you, sweet Mother?
Sophia: We're out of pepperoni!
Dorothy: Did you call Dan Rather?
Sophia: I'm starving.
Dorothy: I defrosted some chicken. We'll eat in half an hour.
Sophia: I can't eat chicken. It repeats on me.
Dorothy: Ma, you don't have to make excuses. If you don't want chicken, just say "I don't want chicken."
Sophia: I don't want chicken.
Dorothy: Good.
Sophia: It repeats on me. I want pepperoni.

Quote from Blanche

Dorothy: Blanche, Blanche, would you like some broiled chicken?
Blanche: Oh, no, thank you. I'm having a raw vegetable plate. You probably haven't noticed it, but I've put on three pounds.
Sophia: On each side.
Blanche: I used to have a waist just like Scarlett O'Hara. Well, you know that girl had an 18-inch waistline.
Dorothy: Blanche, that girl and her waistline were fiction.

Quote from Dorothy

Rose: I'm fine, don't worry about me. It's all those other people.
Blanche: Was there some kind of accident? No, don't tell me, if I get upset I'll eat.
Dorothy: What happened, Rose?
Rose: They closed the center.
Blanche: Not your Grief Counseling Center?
Dorothy: No, the Kennedy Space Center. She wanted to be the first Lutheran on the moon.

Quote from Dorothy

Blanche: Rose, you're out of a job!
Rose: Well, I can't worry about that now.
Dorothy: Well, sure you can, honey. I'll help you: food, clothing, shelter.
Rose: Oh come on, it's not that serious.
Dorothy: Yes, it could be. Rose, you and I are in the same boat. If we miss a couple of paychecks, we are in big trouble.
Blanche: Thank God I had the foresight to marry money.
Dorothy: Tramp!

Quote from Dorothy

Rose: Dorothy, my main concern is making sure those miserable people can find other sources of help. Then I'll get a job. I'm dependable, friendly, loyal, eager.
Dorothy: That's great. If she learns to catch a Frisbee in her teeth, she can get work as a golden retriever.

Quote from Dorothy

Rose: Don't worry, will you? I will get a job. There's always a job for people who aren't afraid of hard work. That's what my father used to say.
Dorothy: Yeah, he was talking about milking cows in Minnesota!

Quote from Dorothy

Rose: Mr. Viner's depressed. Mrs. Gibson's despondent. Mr. Duvalier's been deported. Why, oh, why, can't grief take a holiday?
Dorothy: Oh, it does, Rose, it does. Eventually, it comes to Miami like everyone else.

Quote from Dorothy

Dorothy: Oh, my God. I don't believe it! Barry Glick is in town. Oh, I haven't seen him since high school. Barry Glick! Ma, Ma, look, look, Barry Glick! Oh boy, did I have the hots for him! He says he wants to get together next week!
Sophia: You're gonna see him?
Dorothy: See him? If he's within 50 pounds of where he used to be, I'm going to marry him!

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: I hate phone calls in the middle of the night. Now I'll never get back to sleep. I'm as jumpy as a virgin at a prison rodeo.
Dorothy: Boy, that's pretty jumpy.

Quote from Rose

Dorothy: Oh, Rose. Rose, honey, now why didn't you tell us what was going on?
Rose: Because you can't help me find a job. Because nobody or nothing can make me young again.
Dorothy: Oh, all right, Rose, so your life isn't the same as it used to be. The rules have changed, but it's happened before, hasn't it? I mean, what did you do after Charlie died?
Rose: Buried him.
Dorothy: I mean, what did you do the next day when you had to start putting your life together?
Rose: I couldn't do it. I'd been a housewife for 32 years. I totally depended on Charlie.
Dorothy: Yeah, but the point is, eventually you did what you had to do. You took care of yourself. Sweetheart, you're now in exactly the same position.
Rose: Not exactly. I'm five years older and nobody wants me around.
Blanche: Oh, honey, we want you around. We just can't afford to pay you.

Quote from Dorothy

Dorothy: I can't sleep, either. Why don't I make us all some warm milk? After I drink milk, I go right to sleep.
Blanche: I can think of something else after which I go right to sleep. Huh, Dorothy?
Dorothy: During.

Quote from Blanche

Rose: Girls, we can't drink plain milk.
Blanche: Why not?
Rose: It's disgusting. If we're gonna have milk, we need cookies.
Blanche: Hell, if I'm gonna have cookies, I'm gonna have cheesecake.
Rose: Is there cheesecake?
Blanche: Chocolate cheesecake.
Dorothy: You bought chocolate cheesecake?
Blanche: Just for an emergency.
Dorothy: What kind of emergency, nuclear war?
Blanche: Depression.

Quote from Dorothy

Rose: Oh, you'll never guess what I found!
Dorothy: Judge Crater.
Rose: Cookies and cream ice cream, my favorite.
Dorothy: Wait a minute. We're eating dessert. We can't start with dessert. We better have something to begin with.
Rose: Sure. You can have some lemon chicken and smoked ham. It's all prepared.
Blanche: Oh, let's just start with appetizers.
Rose: That's fine.
Dorothy: How about smoked oysters?
Blanche: Oh, good.
Rose: Ohh, you'll never guess what I found!
Dorothy: Jimmy Hoffa.

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