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‘Ro$e Love$ Mile$’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

The Golden Girls: Ro$e Love$ Mile$

709. Ro$e Love$ Mile$

Aired November 16, 1991

Rose feels that Miles is becoming a cheapskate. When Dorothy goes on a romantic cruise, she leaves Blanche to look after Sophia.

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: Honey, is something wrong?
Rose: Well, it's Miles. Lately he's gotten I don't know, really tight, and I hate it.
Blanche: Oh? Well, I'm just the opposite. I love a tight man. Tight man with cast-iron pecs, thighs that could choke a bear, and a butt you could eat breakfast off of. Then the two of us would... Rose, when did you get in?
Rose: Blanche, I've been here the whole time. I was telling you about Miles being tight.
Blanche: Oh, I love a tight man. A tight man with cast-iron pecs, thighs...

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Quote from Dorothy

Dorothy: Now listen, honey, while I'm gone, I'm putting you in charge of Ma.
Blanche: Me? Why Why me and not Rose?
Dorothy: Well, Rose couldn't keep our rock garden alive. What, I'm gonna give her my mother? Now look, as for instructions, Ma is to be fed twice a day. Walk her after her second meal. And don't give her anything liquid after 10:00.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: But before I tell you about my weekend, I want to hear all about yours.
Sophia: You're looking at it. All I did was sit. Blanche was all over me like a cheap slut.
Rose: I think you mean suit.
Dorothy: Not necessarily.

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: Hey, what is this? You're talking about me like I'm an animal. [sniffing Blanche] You've been with a man, haven't you?

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: Oh, my God, this box is a treasure trove!
Blanche: I guess as long as you already have it out, let's just see what Dorothy's hidin' from us. Pictures and doo-dads. What's this? Huh. 1920. Well, Sophia, you wrote this. "Things I Want To Accomplish Before I Die."
Sophia: The list! The list! You've found my list! Oh, Blanche, read it to me. Those were my dreams, my goals.
Blanche: Number one, "Lose 200 pounds."
Sophia: Done it.
Blanche: Number two, "Never be burden to children in old age."
Sophia: Moving on.

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: Three, "Make amends with Guido Spirelli." Who's Guido Spirelli?
Sophia: Guido Spirelli was my first husband in Sicily. It was an arranged marriage I had annulled. I left him a broken man. And I vowed one day I would make amends.
Blanche: You know, Sophia, finding this list was a sign. You must make things right with that man. Now, go to your room and write him a long letter. Make your words thorough, honey. Make them fearless. Don't stop till you have said everything. Take two or three days if you have to.
Sophia: Thank you, Blanche. You're a good friend.
Blanche: Oh, I just wish Sophia were my mother. Then I could put her in Shady Pines.

Quote from Rose

Rose: You mean I can have another Diet Coke?
Mort: Of course you can, darlin'. [laughs] Why, she's even more charmin' than you said, Blanche. Matter of fact, waiter, bottle of your best champagne.
Rose: Did you hear that? Last time I had champagne, Miles and I crashed a bar mitzvah. By the way, Blanche, you have a large tuchus.
Blanche: That better mean bosom.

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: Of course, on the other hand, she is off on a romantic cruise, so maybe he'll fall in love with her and she'll come home happy. I'm a dead woman.

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: Angelo, please. Now, we have a real problem. Sophia is missing and you are my last hope. I've already tried calling Sicily's Department of Missing Persons. They just laughed at me.
Angelo: You called Missing Persons in Sicily? You got it wrong. You call them to lose somebody.

Quote from Rose

Rose: Oh, Miles, this is all my fault. I should be a person who's more accepting. I mean, it isn't like I'm Miss Perfect. I probably do all sorts of things that annoy you.
Miles: Oh, not really.
Rose: Go on. It would do us both a world of good to hear the things you'd change about me.
Miles: Nah, but, well, there is one thing, Rose.
Rose: Really?
Miles: Yeah. You hum, Rose.
Rose: I hum?
Miles: Softly, happily, incessantly. Rose, I come over in the morning, and you hum as you're cleaning the house. [humming]
Rose: It's free music, Miles. I'd think you'd like that.

Quote from Dorothy

Blanche: Oh, Dorothy, three days on a romantic Caribbean cruise. I envy you.
Dorothy: Oh, come on, Blanche. It's no big deal. What is it? Three days at sea with a man. A man who's a doctor. A great big doctor in a tiny little room with me. You were saying?

Quote from Dorothy

Blanche: Uh, well, let's very quickly go over this checklist to see if you've packed everything you're gonna need for your fun, fun, fun in the sun. Nausea pills?
Dorothy: Took them.
Blanche: Okay. Seasick skin patch?
Dorothy: Wearing it.
Blanche: Okay. Those tiny little stop-you-up tablets that I got for my visit to Mexico?
Dorothy: The bottle was empty.
Sophia: Uh-oh.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: Now, Ma, you're gonna do what Blanche tells you?
Sophia: Yeah.
Dorothy: You're not going to give her any trouble?
Sophia: No.
Dorothy: You're gonna be Blanche's little helper?
Sophia: Yes.
Dorothy: I love you.
Sophia: I love you, too. Goodbye, pussycat. [Dorothy exits] Fasten your seat belt, slut puppy. This ain't gonna be no cakewalk.

Quote from Rose

Miles: Mmm! What a meal, Rose. And what a deal, Rose. Uncle Cluck's, "Tastes Just Like Chicken" all-you-can-eat buffet.
Rose: You love your early bird specials.
Miles: You bet. Especially when they forget to collect the coupon. [laughs] Come on, Rose. Admit it. Wasn't it worth a trip to the bad part of town?
Rose: That guy almost got my purse, Miles!
Miles: Almost doesn't count, Rose. How about those Cajun drumsticks? Oh, I can still smell those Cajun drumsticks.
Rose: I'm not surprised, you put one in each pocket.
Miles: Oh, that's tomorrow's lunch, sweetheart.

Quote from Rose

Rose: No, tight with money. He's cheap.
Blanche: Oh, tight with money? Dump him.
Rose: Blanche, this is serious. And it's getting worse. Like last Friday, I asked him to take me someplace special. You know what he did? He snuck us into an AA meeting. "Theater of the living," he calls it, with free refreshments after.
Blanche: Well, you've always known Miles was frugal.
Rose: He's more than frugal. He's fricking frugal.
Blanche: Why, Rose!
Rose: It's a Scandinavian term. Honest.

Quote from Sophia

Blanche: [clattering] Sophia, what's goin' on?
Sophia: Nothing. [clattering] Nothing! [clattering] Aha!
Blanche: Sophia? Sophia? Are you all right?
Sophia: I'm okay. I'm okay. But that antique chest of Dorothy's? She's not gonna like what you let me do to it.
Blanche: You just listen to what I'm tellin' you. You live under my roof, you live under my rules.
Sophia: Oh, live under this.
Blanche: Sophia, please. How am I supposed to keep you out of trouble? Why are you going through Dorothy's things?
Sophia: 'Cause I've already been through yours.

Quote from Rose

Rose: I can't cheat on Miles.
Blanche: Well, maybe cheat isn't quite the right word. Just think of it as one night out with my rich friends from Texas.
Rose: Well, why isn't that cheating?
Blanche: 'Cause you're not gonna get caught. Come on, Rose. Just think about it. A delicious dinner at an elegant restaurant. At night.
Rose: You mean no coupons, Blanche?
Blanche: No coupons, Rose.
Rose: Chefs who don't wear pirate hats?
Blanche: Oh, I don't think so.
Rose: And he'll pay for everything? I don't have to leave the tip?
Blanche: That's right.
Rose: [singsong] I'm gonna cheat on Miles. I'm gonna to cheat on Miles.

Quote from Rose

Miles: Hey, hi, Blanche. Rose?
Rose: Miles! What're you doing here?
Miles: Well, not that it matters, but I was on my way to the "theater of the living." I thought I'd pop in and purchase a couple of day-old eclairs. Which, incidentally, are for a dinner I'm making you next week. But the better question is, what- What are you doing here? And with these dandies, yet.
Barry: Dandies? Pretty tough words for somebody buying eclairs.

Quote from Rose

Miles: I was gonna take you to a lovely restaurant tomorrow night.
Rose: I know. Cap'n Sam's Twilight Two-For-One Special. "A nice piece of perch, your choice of potatoes or rice."
Miles: Oh, yeah. I see you conveniently left out "with a generous helping of 'slaw." Oh, or doesn't that serve your little smear campaign?

Quote from Rose

Blanche: Oh, boy, there's just nothin' like startin' out the day with a big pile of eggs and cinnamon toast. Oh, damn, almost forgot. The old lady's got to eat.
Rose: She isn't here.
Blanche: What?
Rose: She isn't here. She left. Last night. You didn't know?
Blanche: No, I did not know! What do you mean, "left"? Where'd she go?
Rose: Sicily. To square things with Guido.
Blanche: Sicily? What are you talkin' about, Sicily?
Rose: She said she cleared it with you.
Blanche: She did not clear it with me.
Rose: Then giving her my Visa card was a bad thing?

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