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‘The Flu’ Quotes Page 1 of 4

The Golden Girls: The Flu

121. The Flu

Aired March 1, 1986

Dorothy, Rose and Blanche are at each other's throats when they come down with the flu ahead of an important banquet.

Quote from Sophia

Blanche: You don't have to worry about me. I never get sick. I take very good care of myself. I treat my body like a temple.
Sophia: Yeah, open to everyone, day or night.

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Quote from Sophia

Sophia: In Sicily, we never went to the doctor. We went to the Widow Caravelle. Whatever you had, she had a cure. She was best known for this green salve she used to make to treat ear infections. One day, she gave a batch to Salvadore, the village idiot. He misunderstood the directions and put it on his linguine instead of in his ear.
Dorothy: I guess if you're an idiot with a hearing problem, you do things like that.
Sophia: As it turns out, it wasn't such a bad thing to do. The stuff tasted great and Salvadore decided to market it. At first, it didn't move so well. Linguine With Ear Salve on a menu doesn't look too appetizing. But once he changed the name to pesto sauce, it moved like hotcakes.
Dorothy: Ma, you're making this up!
Sophia: So what? I'm old, I'm supposed to be colorful.

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: Stand up straight.
Dorothy: I am standing straight.
Sophia: You're slouching. You try to pretend you're not tall. You do it all the time.
Dorothy: I do not.
Sophia: Yes, you do. Ever since you changed schools in the fourth grade, the kids thought you were the substitute teacher.

Quote from Sophia

Blanche: Girls, I did it! I finally broke down and bought that dress I've been eyeing for a month.
Dorothy: I thought you were gonna wear the silk one you wore to last year's banquet.
Blanche: I changed my mind. I decided too many people would recognize it. It is such a stunning shade of green.
Sophia: The only thing they'll remember is the way you fall out of it.
Blanche: Oh, Sophia!
Sophia: If you asked people the color, half of them would say flesh-tone.

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: Well, I don't have a date yet either.
Dorothy: Blanche Deveraux can't find a date?
Blanche: Oh, don't be ridiculous! My only problem is trying to decide which of my many suitors to flatter with an invitation. After all, it's the social event of the season.
Dorothy: I guess you'll just have to break a few hundred hearts, Blanche.
Blanche: I know. I haven't had to disappoint so many men since Daddy tore down the tree house.

Quote from Sophia

Rose: Does anyone know where the aspirin is?
Dorothy: Buffered, time-release, or synthetic?
Rose: Time-release, I guess.
Dorothy: Capsule, tablet, or liquid?
Rose: Gee, I don't know.
Sophia: Don't take the one with the childproof cap. You could die before you get it open.

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: Oh, I feel just terrible! My eyes are all puffy, my nose is red, my glands are swollen. Isn't it amazing how I can feel so bad and still look so good?

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: Dorothy, where's my heating pad?
Dorothy: How should I know?
Blanche: If this isn't it, I'd like to know what other electrical appliance you're using under that blanket.

Quote from Dorothy

Dorothy: Who am I kidding? I'm not gonna be able to go to that banquet. None of us is. We won't be better by then.
Sophia: Fine, can I have your date?
Dorothy: Of course, Ma. You can have my date, my dress, and my dessert at the dinner. Just leave me alone with my thermometer and the one nostril I can breathe out of.

Quote from Blanche

Rose: Oh, come on, girls. Now, let's put on a happy face. We'll get better much faster. My cousin Dennis was the perfect example of that. When he was 16 years old, he caught his sideburns in the hay baler. And then-
Dorothy & Blanche: Shut up, Rose.
Rose: Well, excuse me. I didn't realize it was Gang Up On Rose Day.
Blanche: I have been cooped up listening to your stupid stories for three days now. You're just lucky it isn't String Rose Up From a Tree Day.

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