Blanche: Sophia, where are you going?
Sophia: To my room.
Rose: Well, you can't. It could be dangerous!
Sophia: Please, I'm 80. Bathtubs are dangerous!

Dorothy: Ma, "disdam" is not a word. You made it up.
Sophia: It's a word.
Dorothy: Fine. Use it in a sentence.
Sophia: "You're no good at disdam game."

Dorothy: Blanche, come on. Don't be absurd. Look, we were robbed, and now it's over. It has nothing to do with energy. It has nothing to do with being single. It has to do with a lousy lock on a sliding door and massive unemployment. Now, I'm going into my room. Call me when the cops come.
Rose: We're all employed, Dorothy, except your mother. I wouldn't call that "massive."
Dorothy: Good night, Rose. Go to sleep, sweetheart. Pray for brains.

Blanche: I've got a date tonight and no jewelry to wear. Some scum's woman is wearing my mama's jewelry.
Rose: I wonder if jewelry comes from Jewish people. In Little Falls, the jewelry was Jewish. Jeweler, Jewish... I wonder if there's a connection?
Sophia: I think there's a connection between your brain and wallpaper paste.

Blanche: Oh, I'm just beside myself. You ought to see the mess they made in there. They about tore this place apart.
Rose: They were probably looking for drugs.
Dorothy: We have Maalox and estrogen. Now, how many junkies have gas and hot flashes?

Dorothy: What are you doing shooting? Are you crazy?
Rose: I heard a noise. I thought it was the robbers.
Sophia: I manage to live 80, 81 years. I survive pneumonia, two operations, a stroke... One night, I'll belch and Stable Mable here will blow my head off!

Blanche: I thought I was gonna die. I swear, I have never felt such agony. I saw my entire life flash before my eyes, and I thought, "What a shame if I die now. I'm too young." And I'm wearing the wrong underwear.

Dorothy: That's how they got in.
Blanche: Oh, oh, but wait they might still be here!
Rose: They're gonna kill us! They're gonna kill us!
Dorothy: Stay! This is a .375 Magnum, one of the most powerful handguns in the world. It could blow your head off. The only problem is, I don't remember if I shot four rounds or five. So you have to ask yourself, do you feel lucky? Well, do ya punk?
Sophia: Go ahead, make her day.

Rose: In my day, we didn't have therapy. We were too busy looking for food.
Dorothy: Looking for food? You mean, to take back to your cave? Rose, your father was a dairy farmer. You looked for food in your freezer.

Rose: Oh, honey, what happened, you poor darling?
Blanche: I went to the police station today to get an update on my case. I borrowed your pocket hairspray. I took it from your dressing table. You know what this humidity does to my hair.
Rose: I know, cotton candy.
Blanche: Well, just as I entered the police station, I saw there was this cute officer there who's had his eye on me, so I took out your hairspray and gave my hair a final spritz. Only, surprise, it wasn't hairspray. It was mace. You had mace. Your hairspray was mace. I maced myself right there in the police station! I almost died. I fell to the floor blinded, writhing in pain. Couldn't move for 20 minutes.
Rose: Well, what do you know? It works!
Blanche: Works? They thought I was on angel dust. They wanted to arrest me! I'm lyin' there dyin' and they're harassing me. Murderers are free, rapists are free, but a poor widow on the floor they try to lock up. Who'd I hurt? Me?