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‘In a Bed of Rose's’ Quotes Page 1 of 4

The Golden Girls: In a Bed of Rose's

115. In a Bed of Rose's

Aired January 11, 1986

Rose is distraught after a man she is dating is found dead in her bed.

Quote from Sophia

Blanche: All right, now, Rose, go on. I don't want dead people in my house.
Dorothy: People, we are talking about one man, who is probably sleeping.
Sophia: You don't think I can recognize death? I lived in a retirement home. Death visited more often than children.

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Quote from Blanche

Dorothy: Oh, boy. That must have been some dream you were having last night.
Rose: What are you talking about?
Dorothy: I never heard such a racket.
Blanche: I thought you were making love.
Rose: No, no, I wasn't. No. It was a nightmare. Aan awful nightmare, just terrible.
Blanche: Isn't it interesting how the sounds are the same for awful nightmares and great sex?

Quote from Sophia

Rose: Oh, poor Al, and he just got a hair transplant.
Blanche: Here's a Beatty in Boca Raton. It's the only one.
Rose: And somebody told me he just bought a farm. Oh, my God. What'll I say to her?
Sophia: That he died in the bed of an idiot.

Quote from Blanche

Rose: Well, I've never had to do this before, tell a wife that her husband's been cheating on her with me. That's the hardest thing to tell anybody.
Blanche: Oh, no, it's not. How about having to tell a pregnant woman that her husband's been cheating on her with her own sister and you're the sister and you're pregnant, too by her husband.
Dorothy: You didn't!
Blanche: Not me! Last night on Dallas. Or Dynasty. Or Falcon's Landing. Or one of those. They're all the same.
Rose: Oh, I thought you were the one.
Blanche: Oh, please. I could never do anything like that. If you saw my brother-in-law, you'd know why.

Quote from Rose

Rose: We had a neighbor in Minnesota who killed her husband. She backed over him with a combine and she didn't even know she had done it until she found little bits of plaid in the corn. She said, "Funny, that looks like bits of Joe's plaid shirt, and that looks like bits of Joe's overalls, and that looks like bits of Joe's arms and that looks like bits of..."
Blanche: Rose! We get the picture!
Rose: They had a very little coffin-
Blanche: Ah!
Dorothy: Listen, Rose. You are not to blame. Now, you know that.
Rose: Of course I know that. She was driving the combine. I wasn't anywhere near their farm.

Quote from Blanche

Rose: His name was Al Beatty. Her name was Beatty, too. She never married. I suppose I have to tell her.
Blanche: Oh, yes, you do. You cannot let the police tell her. Oh, the night George died, my telephone rang and a highway patrolman said, "Pardon me, ma'am. Do you have a yellow convertible and a husband named George?" I said, "Yes. Good grief, what's happened?" And he said, "Hold on, ma'am." He put me on hold, with that music while you wait. I sat there at two in the morning, listening to Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass. And then after an eternity, he comes back on the line, eating chips. He says, "Oh, I'm sorry, ma'am, but I'm the only one here. My phone's been ringing off the hook." I said, "Officer, what about my husband?" And then he said, crunching his chips, "Oh, he's dead. Wrong way driver hit him head-on. Totally dead, ma'am." Crunch, crunch.
Dorothy: Oh, no!
Blanche: Puts me on hold, and then eats Doritos while he tells me my life is over. Oh, Rose has to tell her. Rose won't eat chips.
Rose: I never eat chips. I don't like them. They fall in my bra.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: This is ridiculous! I mean, here we sit, calmly eating our bran flakes, when there could be a dead man in the house. I'll go.
Rose: She's very brave.
Blanche: Boy, I'll say.
Dorothy: [returning] I want someone to come with me.
Sophia: I'll go, I'll go. I'm from Sicily. What's the big deal?

Quote from Rose

Sophia: He bought the farm.
Rose: What farm?
Dorothy: Rose, he's dead.
Rose: No.
Dorothy: Yes.
Rose: Oh, my God. The poor man. And with a new farm and everything.

Quote from Blanche

Dorothy: Honey, I'm sorry.
Rose: When did he die?
Dorothy: I wasn't there, Rose. You were.
Rose: You mean, I slept with a dead man last night?
Blanche: Honey, I sleep with them all the time.

Quote from Blanche

Dorothy: Now, look, Rose. You're gonna have to go tell her. I mean, she's probably worried sick already.
Rose: But I've never done anything like this. Tell a woman her husband's been seeing me?
Blanche: Mm-hmm, and she'll say, "Why, that dirty rat. I will kill him." And you say, "Good news, darling. You don't have to. He's dead."

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