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‘The Bloom Is Off the Rose’ Quotes

The Golden Girls: The Bloom Is Off the Rose

613. The Bloom Is Off the Rose

Aired January 5, 1991

Rose feels her relationship with Miles lacks excitement. Meanwhile, Dorothy doesn't like the way Blanche's new boyfriend is treating her.

Quote from Rose

Rose: Two hours of learning about thimbles from foreign lands. I couldn't wait to give the headset back.
Dorothy: Look, Rose, have you talked to Miles?
Rose: I think this is just who he is. I don't think I was ever bored for one day when I was with Charlie. He had a theory, "Even a trip to the bank can be exciting if you wear a ski mask."
Dorothy: He would say that often?
Rose: Almost as often as he'd say, "Don't shoot. It's me, Charlie Nylund."

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Quote from Sophia

Sophia: [on the phone] Hello?
Dr. Kelly: [radio] Hi, you're on the air with Dr. Kelly. I need your first name only.
Sophia: My name is Cher.
Dr. Kelly: And your problem, Cher?
Sophia: I have a 55-year-old daughter named Dorothy, Dorothy Zbornak. She's got problems.
Dr. Kelly: First names only, please.
Sophia: I told you, it's Cher.
Dr. Kelly: Zbornak. You said Dorothy Zbornak.
Sophia: Oh, sorry.
Dr. Kelly: So what's wrong with this Dorothy Zbornak?
Sophia: She's still living home, and she's cramping my style.
Dr. Kelly: Have you done anything in a positive direction to encourage separation?
Sophia: When I hear her coming, I hide.

Quote from Sophia

Rose: I wish Miles was more unpredictable. I know where I'm going every night. Miles and I are in such a rut. It was never like that with Charlie.
Sophia: You want to talk about a rut, try spending three nights in a row with this one.
Dorothy: Ma, I thought you liked the lunar landing jigsaw puzzle.
Sophia: Sure, Pussycat. It makes whatever time I have left seem so much longer.

Quote from Rose

Rose: I hate to admit it, but my relationship with Miles is really getting boring. We even make love the same.
Blanche: How?
Rose: Well, first he says, "Let's go watch TV in the bedroom." And then I think, "Wait, he doesn't have a TV in the bedroom." And then he says, "Come lie down. I won't try anything." And then we have four hours of the most boring sex you've ever had in your life.
Blanche: Four hours?
Rose: I guess it could take less if I stopped playing hard to get.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: Ma, you you put Buzz Aldrin's head on Neil Armstrong's body.
Sophia: I did?
Dorothy: Yes, Ma, you did.
Sophia: I'm so ashamed. I wouldn't blame you if you sent me to bed. Now, right now.
Dorothy: Look, Ma, it's important to be accurate. Now look at the box.
Sophia: Hey, Pussycat, it says here, "From ages 8 to 80." I'm out. I'm out.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: You know what the joke going around the teachers' lounge was today, Ma? Me.
Sophia: I know that joke.
Dorothy: Everybody heard on the radio that some anonymous "Ma" was complaining that her dependent daughter Dorothy doesn't have a life of her own.
Sophia: What, you think you're the only gray-haired spinster substitute teacher named Dorothy wasting her life away in Miami?
Rose: I'm sorry, Sophia, but in Dorothy's defense, that sure does sound a lot like her.

Quote from Rose

Rose: I have made arrangements for us tomorrow.
Miles: Oh? What arrangements?
Rose: We're supposed to show up at the hangar at 10:00 in the morning for skydiving class.
Miles: Wha- You mean actually jump out of an airpl- Literally?
Rose: Oh, there is nothing like skydiving. I mean, soaring through the air the freedom of it, the whole idea of plummeting toward a pasture and watching a cow get bigger and bigger. It's just something we should do together before we die.
Miles: Rose, could- Couldn't I just run toward you yelling, "Moo"?

Quote from Sophia

Rose: We're gonna go skydiving.
Sophia: You're going skydiving?
Rose: Mm-hmm.
Sophia: A room with a view. A room with a- I mean, good luck.

Quote from Blanche

Dorothy: Blanche, honey, are you OK?
Blanche: Never better. Why?
Dorothy: I've just never seen you do anything domestic.
Blanche: Dorothy, I've done the laundry thousands of times. Oh, by the way, we're out of ble-ach.

Quote from Blanche

Rex: Hi. Is Blanche ready?
Dorothy: Not quite yet. Would you like to sit down?
Rex: No. I'm in a hurry.
Dorothy: She'll only be a few minutes.
Rex: Oh, great. Now we're gonna run into traffic. I hate it when she does this.
Dorothy: You evidently hate it when she does a lot of things.
Rex: What?
Dorothy: Nothing. I'm staying out of it.
Rex: Good. Do you want to go light a fire under her?
Dorothy: No, I don't think so.
Rex: Why not?
Dorothy: Because I think she's getting burned enough as it is.
Rex: Look, would you just go tell Blanche to hurry up? I've got to teach this woman what being on time means.
Dorothy: Wait a minute. I don't want you teaching her anything.
Rex: You know, you're starting to get on my nerves.
Dorothy: Good. Good, because you're already on mine. I don't like the way you're treating Blanche. Under all that makeup and sexy talk, there's a little girl there, and for some reason or other, she's letting you take advantage of her. I can't stop her from seeing you, but I'll be damned if I'm gonna hurry her up.
Rex: Who do you think you are?
Dorothy: A friend.
Rex: This is none of your business. Just butt out.
Dorothy: You're hurting me.
Blanche: Stop that!
Rex: Are you ready?
Blanche: I think you'd better go.
Rex: Oh, look, look- Uh, uh, I'm sorry. Really, I'm sorry. Uh. Look, sweetie, you know I don't mean these things I say.
Blanche: Just leave.
Rex: If I walk out that door, I'm not coming back here.
Blanche: That's a promise I'm gonna see that you keep.

Quote from Blanche

Dorothy: Well, Blanche feels the way any one of us would feel if we were stood up three times. [chuckles] Three whole times. Three in a row. Ha-ha-ha. Count 'em. 1, 2-
Blanche: Dorothy!
Dorothy: Oh, I'm sorry, Blanche. Come on, honey, sit down. Now, it's not so bad. Do what the rest of us do. Sure, our dance cards may not be filled, but at least we can face the lonely nights together. We're like sisters.
Blanche: You're right. Sisters united in the battle against the opposite sex. [doorbell rings] See you later, sisters.
It's date time. Only first, I'm gonna let that man know just how I feel.

Quote from Rose

Miles: What about all those other great things you two did? Camping, tennis, boating?
Rose: All the time. Well, maybe only once. See, Charlie had this unnatural fear.
Miles: Of what?
Rose: Camping, tennis, boating.
Miles: Rose, don't you see? You're remembering the way it never was. Then you're expecting me to compete with it.
Rose: Hey, that's not true.
Miles: Listen, Rose, I can't fight a ghost. Gee, Charlie's not only dead, he's much younger. Look, Rose, you know I'm nuts about you, but I shouldn't have to prove it by jumping out of an airplane. I'm- I'm over 60.
Rose: Well, so is Paul Newman, and he still races cars.
Miles: I don't want to be compared with Charlie, and I sure as hell don't want to be compared with Paul Newman. Although I gotta tell you, I do make a better salad dressing. In fact, I don't want to be compared with anybody. I'm the best me there is, and that should be enough.
Rose: It is. Why, I don't know why I put you through all this. Now that I think of it, I guess there were times that Charlie was a little boring. Not that I loved him any less.
Miles: That's all I ask, Rose, that you love me even when I'm boring.

Quote from Rose

Instructor: OK, it's time to take off.
Rose: Let's go home.
Miles: OK. Rose, uh you say Charlie never did this?
Rose: I think he was scared.
Miles: He was, huh? [chuckles] OK, Rose, come on. Let's go for it.
Rose: I bet if Charlie had jumped, he'd have thrown in a few somersaults.
Miles: Don't push it, Rose.

Quote from Sophia

Blanche: Well, I have everything I need for the fishing trip. Plenty of suntan lotion and a string bikini. I don't want the fish to be the only things nibblin'.
Sophia: Or floppin' around in the boat.

Quote from Dorothy

Blanche: Are you all right?
Dorothy: I'm OK.
Blanche: I'm so sorry, Dorothy. I don't know what to say.
Dorothy: Honey, I'm fine.
Blanche: You know, until I saw him grab you, I-I just couldn't see what he was.
Dorothy: Listen, you know, it could've been a lot worse. Most people in an abusive relationship have to hit bottom before they can get out. You were lucky.
Sophia: Your bottom is a lot higher than most people's.

Quote from Sophia

Rose: Well, I'm off.
Dorothy: Oh, where you going, Rose?
Rose: To see Miles. Visiting hours at the hospital are until ten.
Dorothy: Please tell him I hope his leg feels better.
Rose: Oh, he feels great. He says a week in bed is just what he needs.
Sophia: Tell him I'll drop by to see him again tomorrow. I went by that thimble museum. I got him a thimble from France. See, it's got this little man on it, and when you turn it upside dow... [chuckles] I think I'll keep this one for myself.

Quote from Rose

Blanche: You know, your Miles is a pretty exciting guy. I hope you know that.
Rose: Oh, I know it now. You don't realize how much you care for a man until you see him streaking toward the earth trying to grab a bird.
Dorothy: Boy, he must really love you.
Rose: Well, I love him, too. Boy, am I glad I didn't jump.

Quote from Sophia

Rose: Blanche, you dropped these.
Blanche: Oh, thanks.
Dorothy: Men's underwear?
Sophia: Getting a little misty, are you, Pussycat?

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: I don't believe it. Blanche Devereaux doing laundry for a man?
Blanche: Not just any man. Rex Huntington.
Rose: Rex Huntington? Isn't he the guy who stood you up last week?
Blanche: Well, yeah, he did, but I happen to like the man, so I'm giving him a second chance.
Dorothy: That was his second chance. He stood you up the week before that.
Blanche: You're enjoying this, aren't you, Dorothy?
Dorothy: Oh, yeah.

Quote from Rose

Miles: Hi, Dorothy, Sophia.
Dorothy: You kids have fun tonight?
Miles: Oh, did we ever. There's this sewing shop on Fourth Street and in the back they've got this thimble museum I've wanted to go to. You know, you could put in a thimble what most people know about thimbles. [laughing loudly] Well, no, that's not mine. They tell that one down at the thimble museum.
Dorothy: You actually had a good time at a thimble museum?
Miles: It was sew-sew. [laughing] No, again, that was not mine. They sell bumper stickers out of the thimble museum. So, Rose, how 'bout tomorrow night? Hmm? Dinner at the usual? And, you know, uh, we've been putting off that trip to Zippertown.
Rose: Do you think we'll have time after dinner?
Miles: Well, Zippertown is always open. [laughs] I'm sorr- That was mine. Just now, I swear.

Quote from Blanche

Rose: What's the problem?
Blanche: Oh, Rex Huntington. That's the problem. It's 10:00, and I've been stood up again. I feel totally unattractive, undesirable and ignored. Oh, Dorothy, you explain it to 'em.

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: Am I fat?
Dorothy: What, no, "Hello. Am I fat?"
Blanche: Dorothy, I seriously want to know. Am I fat?
Dorothy: Well, of course not. Oh, this guy Rex is ruining your self-esteem. Did he say that you're fat?
Blanche: Not in so many words. But I am starting to wonder whether "barrel-butt" is really a term of endearment.

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: Boy, he makes Wallace Beery look like Adolphe Menjou.
Dorothy: Has been a long time since I've taken you to the movies, hasn't it?

Quote from Dorothy

Dorothy: Blanche, this guy has gone past being a challenge. He is really treating you very badly.
Blanche: Dorothy, you'll see. I'm just reeling him in.
Dorothy: Blanche, look, I usually don't talk to you about the men you date.
Blanche: Nor do I talk to you about the men you date. Oh, ha-ha. Listen to me. I made a joke.
Dorothy: Blanche, this is no laughing matter. How can you take this kind of abuse?
Blanche: Abuse? I'll have you know he has never raised a hand to me.
Dorothy: Verbal abuse, Blanche.
Blanche: He talks like that all the time. I just don't pay any attention.
Dorothy: Blanche, you're making excuses for him.

Quote from Dorothy

Dorothy: Sea of Tranquility, come to Mama. Lunar module, you're out of here! Yah! That's it! Yes! Ha-ha! Ha-ha-ha. Ha-ha. Ho-ho.
Sophia: It's just a puzzle, Dorothy. You didn't make this much noise on your wedding night.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: Oh, Ma, Ma, it looks great, doesn't it?
Sophia: Sure. Let's bust it up.
Dorothy: No, wait. Blanche and Rose haven't seen it.
Sophia: Dorothy, they have dates. They get to see the real moon.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: Oh, I wish Blanche wasn't out on a date. I just hate the thought of her being with that guy Rex. I'll tell you, no man would ever treat me that way, and you know why, Ma?
Sophia: The whole city knows why. They heard it on the radio.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: I'm just glad that you got home safely.
Blanche: Are you still on that Rex thing? Listen, for your information, he apologized and apologized about the things he was sayin' when we were leaving. Then he invited me marlin fishing, just the two of us on the open seas. He says it's the ideal vacation.
Sophia: Sure. No witnesses.

Quote from Dorothy

Dorothy: Now, Blanche, I know you find Rex alluring, but, honey, I know where you're headed. I mean, I was once in an abusive relationship.
Sophia: Hey, Stan was a yutz, but when was he abusive?
Dorothy: Not Stan. I've had relationships with other men.
Sophia: Oh, yeah, the evil pen pal. So, what did Koo Duk Kim say in his letters that hurt my little girl?
Dorothy: No, it was in high school. Michael Tortelli, remember? Captain of the football team. Oh, he was beautiful. Black wavy hair. Strong Roman nose. And he could read.
Sophia: Oh, him.
Dorothy: He was always putting me down. Made me feel like I had no self-worth.

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: Dorothy, will you stop it? This has nothing to do with me. Maybe Rex is right. Maybe I have gained a few pounds. Maybe I could try a little harder.
Dorothy: You are buying right into this.
Blanche: What makes you such an expert on relationships? This is male/female stuff. This is what I know. If I need advice on jigsaw puzzles, I'll come to you.

Quote from Rose

Rose: Are you excited?
Miles: Dumbstruck.
Rose: Oh, I know that feeling. I just hope I remember everything the instructor said.
Miles: Well, Rose, you must know what you're doing. After all, you did this with Charlie.
Rose: Well, we wanted to, but-
Miles: "But"? "But"? Rose, the way you talked, I thought you two did this all the time. Now, I'm confused.
Rose: And, you know, I feel like I'm getting smarter. That's why we're good for each other.


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