Rose: Two hours of learning about thimbles from foreign lands. I couldn't wait to give the headset back.
Dorothy: Look, Rose, have you talked to Miles?
Rose: I think this is just who he is. I don't think I was ever bored for one day when I was with Charlie. He had a theory, "Even a trip to the bank can be exciting if you wear a ski mask."
Dorothy: He would say that often?
Rose: Almost as often as he'd say, "Don't shoot. It's me, Charlie Nylund."

Dorothy: You know what the joke going around the teachers' lounge was today, Ma? Me.
Sophia: I know that joke.
Dorothy: Everybody heard on the radio that some anonymous "Ma" was complaining that her dependent daughter Dorothy doesn't have a life of her own.
Sophia: What, you think you're the only gray-haired spinster substitute teacher named Dorothy wasting her life away in Miami?
Rose: I'm sorry, Sophia, but in Dorothy's defense, that sure does sound a lot like her.

Sophia: [on the phone] Hello?
Dr. Kelly: [radio] Hi, you're on the air with Dr. Kelly. I need your first name only.
Sophia: My name is Cher.
Dr. Kelly: And your problem, Cher?
Sophia: I have a 55-year-old daughter named Dorothy, Dorothy Zbornak. She's got problems.
Dr. Kelly: First names only, please.
Sophia: I told you, it's Cher.
Dr. Kelly: Zbornak. You said Dorothy Zbornak.
Sophia: Oh, sorry.
Dr. Kelly: So what's wrong with this Dorothy Zbornak?
Sophia: She's still living home, and she's cramping my style.
Dr. Kelly: Have you done anything in a positive direction to encourage separation?
Sophia: When I hear her coming, I hide.

Rose: I wish Miles was more unpredictable. I know where I'm going every night. Miles and I are in such a rut. It was never like that with Charlie.
Sophia: You want to talk about a rut, try spending three nights in a row with this one.
Dorothy: Ma, I thought you liked the lunar landing jigsaw puzzle.
Sophia: Sure, Pussycat. It makes whatever time I have left seem so much longer.

Rose: I hate to admit it, but my relationship with Miles is really getting boring. We even make love the same.
Blanche: How?
Rose: Well, first he says, "Let's go watch TV in the bedroom." And then I think, "Wait, he doesn't have a TV in the bedroom." And then he says, "Come lie down. I won't try anything." And then we have four hours of the most boring sex you've ever had in your life.
Blanche: Four hours?
Rose: I guess it could take less if I stopped playing hard to get.

Dorothy: Ma, you you put Buzz Aldrin's head on Neil Armstrong's body.
Sophia: I did?
Dorothy: Yes, Ma, you did.
Sophia: I'm so ashamed. I wouldn't blame you if you sent me to bed. Now, right now.
Dorothy: Look, Ma, it's important to be accurate. Now look at the box.
Sophia: Hey, Pussycat, it says here, "From ages 8 to 80." I'm out. I'm out.

Rose: I have made arrangements for us tomorrow.
Miles: Oh? What arrangements?
Rose: We're supposed to show up at the hangar at 10:00 in the morning for skydiving class.
Miles: Wha- You mean actually jump out of an airpl- Literally?
Rose: Oh, there is nothing like skydiving. I mean, soaring through the air the freedom of it, the whole idea of plummeting toward a pasture and watching a cow get bigger and bigger. It's just something we should do together before we die.
Miles: Rose, could- Couldn't I just run toward you yelling, "Moo"?

Rose: We're gonna go skydiving.
Sophia: You're going skydiving?
Rose: Mm-hmm.
Sophia: A room with a view. A room with a- I mean, good luck.

Rose: Blanche, you dropped these.
Blanche: Oh, thanks.
Dorothy: Men's underwear?
Sophia: Getting a little misty, are you, Pussycat?

Dorothy: Blanche, honey, are you OK?
Blanche: Never better. Why?
Dorothy: I've just never seen you do anything domestic.
Blanche: Dorothy, I've done the laundry thousands of times. Oh, by the way, we're out of ble-ach.