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‘Zborn Again’ Quotes

The Golden Girls: Zborn Again

607. Zborn Again

Aired November 3, 1990

Dorothy tries to resist Stan's entreaties after he made it big. Meanwhile, Rose asks Sophia to help deal with an over-dependent colleague.

Quote from Rose

Rose: I remember the best sex of my whole life.
Dorothy: Was it difficult to get out of the relationship afterwards?
Rose: No, not really. Poor Charlie died in the middle of it.
Blanche: Was that really the best sex you ever had with him?
Rose: Yeah. Oh, there was something wild about him that night. Although I did think it was strange when he started yelling, "Rose, I'm going! I'm going!"
Dorothy: Talk about your mixed emotions.

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Quote from Sophia

Sophia: It means that ever since he made a fortune on that baked potato opener, he's been comin' on to you like gangbusters, and I don't like it. Not that I've ever actually seen gangbusters But I did see Ghostbusters. I didn't like that, either. I mean, they couldn't give the black guy one funny line? And how about that sequel? Dorothy, what the hell were we just talkin' about?

Quote from Blanche

Rose: What was the best sex you ever had, Blanche?
Dorothy: Oh, way to go, Rose. Look, Blanche, it's late, there's only one cheesecake left, so let's make menopause the cutoff point.
Blanche: Best sex. Oh, it's just so hard to rate these things. There's degree of difficulty, style points, choice of music... Did they land on their feet during the dismount? Different people have different strengths. It's just impossible to tell, but anything over a nine is excellent.
Rose: Over a nine?!
Blanche: Points, Rose. Points.

Quote from Dorothy

Dorothy: Look, I'm mad enough at myself as it is. I mean, Stanley Zbornak made me weak in the knees. What, you think I'm proud of that?
Blanche: Who made the first move?
Dorothy: I guess I did. It was dark, and Stan stopped the car. I swear to you, I thought I was setting the parking brake.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: When Stan comes over tonight, I'll talk to him. I'll apologize to him for leading him on. I only hope I don't hurt his feelings.
Blanche: Well, there are worse things in this world than hurt feelings, Dorothy.
Sophia: That's true, Pussycat. As we say back in Sicily, sticks and stones can break your bones, but cement pays homage to tradition.

Quote from Sophia

Rose: We were telling Best Sex Ever stories, Sophia.
Dorothy: Yeah, but now we're tired of telling them, so why don't we go to bed, huh?
Sophia: No, wait. It's a good thing I'm up, because it so happens that I have a story for you, the sex story to end all sex stories. Sicily, 1922. I stop by a little trattoria. No, wait. I'm thinkin' of the best meal I ever had.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: Oh, Ma, did you eat all this candy?
Sophia: I was lookin' for the prize.
Dorothy: Prizes are in Cracker Jacks.
Sophia: Boy, you forget something new every day, don't you?

Quote from Rose

Rose: The truth is, she's a sweet girl looking for a friend. And we do have a common bond. She used to be a newscaster. Now she's just an assistant like me. So there's this cognitive dissonance between her actual and her ideal self which causes her to be practically dysfunctional. But of course, I'm no psychologist.
Blanche: No, you're a nitwit. How come you know those words?
Dorothy: Blanche, come on, it's not nice calling her a nitwit. But since the cat's out of the bag... How do you know those words?
Rose: I guess it's from reading The American Journal of Abnormal Psychology. It's published in St. Olaf, you know. In fact, my Uncle Gunther used to be the editor.
Sophia: And what were you, the centerfold?
Blanche: I'm sorry, but I refuse to believe you have ever read a scientific journal.
Rose: Believe what you want. See if I care. Hypersexual bitch.

Quote from Blanche

Rose: Blanche, I need to talk to you.
Blanche: Oh, OK.
Rose: It's about a friend of mine. I think she's taking advantage of me, and I don't know how to tell her. It's as if she doesn't care about my needs just 'cause she's a lot younger than I am.
Blanche: Fine. Keep your damned earrings.
Rose: Oh, no. No, Blanche, not you. Abby.
Blanche: Oh, right. I was thrown by the "she's a lot younger than you" part.

Quote from Blanche

Dorothy: Blanche, I need to talk to you privately.
Blanche: OK.
Dorothy: There's this person, someone I've known for quite a while, and lately there seems to be this attraction developing, an attraction I've been trying to deny. [Blanche stands up and backs away] Blanche, what are you doing?
Blanche: It's a curse. My beauty's always been a curse. I'm sorry, Dorothy, but like the fatal blossom of the graceful jimson weed, I entice with my fragrance but can provide no succor.
Dorothy: I'm talking about Stanley, you idiot.
Blanche: Get outta here. Stan has the hots for me?
Dorothy: For me, not you, fatal blossom. For me.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: I mean, I really do want Stan as a friend, but just as a friend.
Sophia: Then what was that lip lock you had on him the other night?
Blanche: What's this?
Dorothy: Oh, it's nothing. I gave him a little kiss.
Sophia: Trust me, that was no little kiss. That was more like a dental checkup. Your whole head was practically in his mouth.
Dorothy: All right, Ma. All right.
Sophia: "A little kiss," she says. The man almost digested her. It was like watching a Nova special.

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: All right, Dorothy, I think it would be a good idea if we rehearsed how you're gonna break up with Stan tonight. OK, I'll be Stan.
Blanche: I didn't know you were dating Stan.
Dorothy: I am not, and I don't need to rehearse.
Blanche: Oh, I think it's a good idea, Dorothy. If you like, I'll be Stan.
Sophia: Beat it. I already got dibs on Stan. You be Dorothy.
Blanche: Don't be stupid. Besides, Rose ought to be Dorothy.
Rose: No, thanks. But I'll play Stan.
Sophia: Well, I'm not playing Dorothy, although playing a sap on stilts would be a cakewalk. No offense, Pussycat.
Dorothy: None taken, you cankerous little prune.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: Stanley, what possessed you?
Stan: I love that car. All the memories we had in that car, huh? The cruising, the drive-ins, the road trips.
Sophia: And don't forget the accident you had in that car.
Stan: What accident?
Sophia: I'll give you a hint. It cost me 10 bucks every Christmas and still calls me "Grandma."
Rose: Well, let's see. Is it something that floats?

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: Dorothy, I'm not crazy about you going out with him this way.
Dorothy: Ma, I told you, we're just going to talk. I'm going to explain to him that I am not attracted to him, this is just a friendship and I'm sorry if he thinks it's more than that.
Sophia: I wish I could believe you. Just be careful. And remember what they taught you at parochial school. Keep both your feet on the ground, no patent leather shoes and macaroni and cheese every Wednesday.
Dorothy: Thank you, Ma. [to Rose] She's lost it.

Quote from Sophia

Blanche: Oh, Sophia, you're up. Were we makin' too much noise?
Sophia: No, I'm awake because I was feeling frisky. What say we get out the Ouija board and scare up our husbands?

Quote from Sophia

Rose: You know, Sophia, actually, you're pretty straightforward.
Sophia: It's a gift. So tomorrow at nine o'clock, I'll go to work with you. We'll take care of it.
Rose: Oh, thank you, Sophia.
Sophia: You're welcome, Pussycat.
Rose: I'm not Dorothy.
Sophia: From now on I'm calling everybody Pussycat. It's cheaper than buying new glasses.

Quote from Blanche

Dorothy: Oh, I don't know. I don't know. He's just been so sweet lately, and we were at the beach in the same old car that we used to make out in, and it just got to me. It was exciting.
Blanche: Dammit, Dorothy, if you'd have sex in public more often, this kind of thing wouldn't happen.

Quote from Blanche

Dorothy: To make matters worse, the sex was incredible. It felt real and familiar. It made me feel like I've been kissing strangers for the past seven years and then suddenly tonight I was with a familiar and I must say surprisingly agile old friend.
Rose: So what are you gonna do now?
Blanche: Oh, you do have a problem, Dorothy. How do you break off a relationship when the sex is great? When the sex is lousy, it's easy. Two more dates, and it's over. Well, you know, just to make sure.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: Look, Ma, I admit I made a mistake with Stan tonight, but I will deal with it. I mean, this isn't gonna ruin my life. It was wrong, I know that, but now it's over.
Sophia: It better be. I won't allow it, not while you're living in my house.
Blanche: Sophia, this is my house.
Sophia: It is? Oh, right. Then let me give you two words of advice: enough wicker.

Quote from Sophia

Mr. Percy: Excuse me. Can I get your attention, please? I'd like to clear the air.
Sophia: Don't look at me. I haven't had a raw vegetable in six months.

Quote from Dorothy

Dorothy: If my mother found out about this, she would kill me.
Stan: Dorothy, I'm getting the feeling you're ashamed of me.
Dorothy: Stanley, don't be silly. Get down. Stan, can't you even wait till we get to the car? [helicopter whirring]
Police Officer: My God! What are you kids doin' down there?!


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