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‘The Operation’ Quotes

The Golden Girls: The Operation

118. The Operation

Aired February 8, 1986

Dorothy is afraid when she is told she needs to stay in the hospital for a minor operation on her foot.

Quote from Rose

Rose: Hey, we've all got our sad stories.
Blanche: What?
Rose: Look, Blanche, we've practiced for six weeks. We've paid for our costumes, we told everybody we'd be there! You're not gonna wimp out on me. You're gonna go to that recital. If you end up in a puddle tonight, well, you'd just better break into "Singin' in the Rain"!

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Quote from Blanche

Blanche: Rose, I have a confession to make. Flying isn't the only thing I'm afraid of. I also have a fear of performing. In front of groups, that is.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: Ma, what is that you're knitting?
Sophia: A bottle cover for the sherry.
Dorothy: Why do we need to cover the sherry?
Sophia: Not the sherry here in the house. The sherry I take to the park. You drink out of a paper bag in the park and suddenly everybody's your friend.
Rose: Oh, Sophia, I don't think it's a good idea to drink in the park.
Sophia: Hey, I do it once a month with the girls from the Cloud Society.
Blanche: The Cloud Society?
Sophia: Yeah, we stake out a bench, knock a few sherries back, and discuss what we think the clouds look like. One afternoon, I thought I saw Pat Sajak riding sidesaddle on a dolphin.

Quote from Rose

Dorothy: I'm all right. I'm fine.
Blanche: No, you are not and I'm tired of watching you suffer!
Rose: That's what Daddy said to our horse, Old Toby, when he broke his leg. Then he shot him.
Dorothy: Your family was awfully tough on pets, weren't they, Rose?

Quote from Blanche

Dorothy: It's not as bad as it looks. The doctor says I'm fine. I just have to take it a little easy for a few days, that's all.
Sophia: You're lying!
Rose: Oh, Sophia, Dorothy wouldn't lie!
Sophia: A mother knows when her child is lying, it's like bat radar. Now what did the doctor really say?
Sophia: He said I have to have surgery.
Rose: [gasps] Surgery? For what?
Dorothy: For kicks, Rose! No, I have a condition called Morton's Neuroma.
Blanche: Oh, I think I had that once. But how the heck did you ever catch it in your foot?

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: Fine. Don't have the surgery. Let me suffer.
Dorothy: Ma, it's my foot.
Sophia: Your foot? My heart. Do you have any idea how much a mother suffers when she sees her child in pain?
Dorothy: Look, Ma, Ma, don't do this!
Sophia: I'll tell you how much. Worse than the 23 hours of labor it took to bring you into this world.
Dorothy: -bring you into this world.
Sophia and Dorothy: Worse than the burns I got working nights as a fry cook to help put you through college.
Sophia: Worse than the time-
Dorothy: All right, all right, Ma! I'll have the surgery! You win! You always win. But you don't play fair.
Sophia: That's why I always win.

Quote from Rose

Blanche: I don't know what you have been complaining about, Dorothy. I think this is a very good hospital and a perfectly lovely room. Isn't it a lovely room, Rose?
Rose: Very lovely. I just keep wondering how many people have never left this room.
Dorothy: Where are they, Rose? Hiding in the shower?
Sophia: She means a lot of people have probably croaked in here.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: I know what she means, Ma. I just don't need to hear it the night before surgery!
Sophia: Come on, don't be such a baby! I had my appendix out in a hospital in Sicily. That was rough!
Rose: Why?
Sophia: They didn't believe in anesthesia back then. They had a nurse hold a pillow over your face so the other patients couldn't hear your screams. You had to pay extra for that. Sicily, love it or leave it.

Quote from Dorothy

Dr. Ravel: Hello, Mrs. Zbornak, my name is Dr. Ravel.
Dorothy: Oh, hello.
Dr. Ravel: I'm here to tell you that Dr. Ashton won't be able to perform your surgery tomorrow. He's been subpoenaed in a malpractice suit.
Dorothy: You are kidding?
Dr. Ravel: I'm afraid not. He's a damn fine doctor, too. I wish I were half the doctor he is. By the way, I'll be performing your surgery tomorrow.
Dorothy: Look, couldn't this surgery wait until he gets back?
Dr. Ravel: Well, if he gets a hostile jury, you may have to wait three to five years. You'd be surprised how peeved people get nowadays over any little mix-up.
Dorothy: Mix-up?
Dr. Ravel: I didn't say mix-up and there's no one here to prove that I did.

Quote from Dorothy

Dorothy: What do you think you're doing?
The Priest: I'm giving you the last rites, Mr. Ferguson.
Dorothy: I'm not Mr. Ferguson!
The Priest: Then what are you doing in bed with him? The man's dying, for God's sake!
Dorothy: Wait a minute! There is no Mr. Ferguson in this room!
The Priest: Isn't this room 203?
Dorothy: 303.
The Priest: Oh, boy, what a day. Since I'm here, do you need the last rites?
Dorothy: No, thank you.
The Priest: Have you had your operation yet?
Dorothy: No, tomorrow morning.
The Priest: Well, good luck. I'm sure everything will be fine. But just to be on the safe side, I'll swing by here tomorrow afternoon.

Quote from Rose

Blanche: Where in the world did you come from?
Dorothy: The coffee shop at the bus station. I went there from the hospital to think things out. But this toothless old wino who claimed he was Elvis kept hounding me for bus fare to Graceland. So I came home.
Rose: Blanche, call the police! I just saw a big, ugly man with a limp walk past my bedroom window! He was wearing Dorothy's coat! ... But then again, it was dark and I tend to over dramatize.

Quote from Blanche

Rose: Dorothy, nobody likes being in the hospital, but it's natural to be afraid.
Blanche: She's right, darling. Everybody has fears. Now all of my life, I had an incredible fear of flying. And I missed out on a lot of things because of that fear! Then, one day-
Dorothy: No, don't tell me, don't tell me. You met a handsome pilot, he invited you into the cockpit. Of course you said yes, as you usually do in these stories. The two of you made passionate love and now you cannot get enough of the friendly skies.
Blanche: No, that's not what happened at all.
Rose: Well, then how did you get over your fear?
Blanche: I never did, but thanks to Dorothy, I now have new hope.

Quote from Dorothy

Bonnie: I hope my exercising doesn't bother you.
Dorothy: No. Not at all. What is it? Some kind of therapy you have to do?
Bonnie: No, I just like to stay healthy.
Dorothy: I hate to break this to you, Bonnie, you're in a hospital. The exercises aren't working.
Bonnie: Surgery today, huh?
Dorothy: Yeah. And I might as well warn you, I am not the best patient in the whole world.
Bonnie: I can put up with you for one night. Then tomorrow, it is my turn in the operating room.
Dorothy: You're having surgery too?
Bonnie: Yeah.
Dorothy: And you're smiling?
Bonnie: I've had this procedure before. The first time, I was as nervous as you are. This time I know what to expect.
Dorothy: You're having the same operation again? Don't they get it right around here the first time?
Bonnie: Oh, no, it's nothing like that. About three years ago, I had a mastectomy. And, well, now I'm in for another.
Dorothy: And you're not scared?
Bonnie: I'm petrified. No one's that brave, except in the movies and on television. But at least this time I know what I'm facing. I've gone through all the steps before. I have considered the alternatives, dealt with the reality.
The last time, I think I started crying the moment the doctor told me, and I didn't stop until they wheeled me off to surgery. And then later, I cried because there was so much pain, I didn't think it would ever go away. But it did. And it will again. You get through it. You go on. When it comes right down to it, what other choice do we have? It could have been a lot worse. I could have missed these last three years. Dorothy, you all right? How do you feel?
Dorothy: Like a fool. Like a damn fool.

Quote from Blanche

Rose: I thought you went to dancing school.
Blanche: Oh, that was different. That was partner dancing, up close and personal. Rose, what I didn't tell you was, when I was five, Mama enrolled me in a tap-dancing class. For six months, we practiced. One hour a day, two days a week. And I was good. I was cute and I was good, real good. And then finally, it came time for the night of the recital. There were 13 little girls up there with our little Shirley Temple curls and our little starched white pinafores and our little Mary Jane shoes. Then they opened the curtain and the music started and 12 little girls started to dance. And one little girl wet her pants. That girl in the puddle was me. Oh, God, I have never told that to another living soul, Rose! You see, I thought I had overcome my fear, honey. But I just haven't, and performing is a nightmare for me.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: Ma?
Sophia: What?!
Dorothy: What are you doing here?
Sophia: You were operated on, you're my daughter, where else would I be?
Dorothy: How long have you been here?
Sophia: Since they took you to surgery. I haven't left the room. Not for a newspaper, not for food, not for a cold drink. All day, I've been right here.
Dorothy: Oh, Ma. Ma, I love you. Could you fluff up my pillow a little, please?
Sophia: What, I look like an orderly? Push the button, wake up a nurse! I'm just here for moral support.


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