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Goodbye, Mr. Gordon

‘Goodbye, Mr. Gordon’

Season 7, Episode 14 -  Aired January 11, 1992

When Dorothy falls for an old teacher she used to have a crush on, Sophia thinks he's using her. Meanwhile, Rose arranges for Dorothy and Blanche to appear on a TV discussion show about women who live together.

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: So that's why you're acting like it's the first day of school. Mr. Gordon is coming over. [kissing sounds]
Dorothy: Mother, just stop that. Mr. Gordon is probably over 70 by now. He's practically ancient.
Sophia: Seventy is ancient? If I met a man that age who looked halfway decent, I'd be on my back before you could say, "I've fallen and I can't get up."


Quote from Sophia

Ron: Any other questions? Ah, here we go.
Sophia: This is directed to Dorothy's lover. Do people treat you differently because you're a lesbian?
Blanche: Well, most people don't know.
Sophia: Really? I would've guessed right off.
Sophia: Next question to Dorothy. What kind of pain and embarrassment has this lifestyle caused your mother?
Dorothy: I really don't know, but I'll ask her tomorrow when I visit her at the home.
Sophia: No more questions.

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: I don't wanna hear any more of this. I don't like you being taken advantage of by some guy from out of town. At least, when Blanche does it, it's good for tourism.

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: [answering phone] Hello? You wanna talk to who? Dorothy? Sorry, you must've dialed the wrong number. [hangs up]
Dorothy: Blanche, what do you mean, wrong number?
Blanche: Oh, it was a man, so I just assumed...

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: Ah, Mr. Gordon. Dorothy had a huge embarrassing crush on him. She was his slave. She graded his papers, did his laundry. Once, she even rotated his tires.
Dorothy: Boy, that stroke didn't make you forget a thing, did it, Ma?

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: My Dorothy didn't date teachers in high school. She dated losers like Stan who knocked her up and ruined her life forever.
Dorothy: It would be like a day without orange juice, wouldn't it, Ma?

Quote from Dorothy

Rose: Girls, guess what? They gave me another job at the television station. The old associate producer quit, so now I am the new associate producer of the Wake-Up! Miami show. They even gave me a nameplate for my desk.
Dorothy: "Harold Goldstein, Associate Producer."
Rose: Isn't it exciting?
Dorothy: Oh, congratulations, Harold. That's great.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: But there's nothing like that between me and Mr. Gordon. If you don't believe me, why don't you join us for lunch?
Sophia: Join you for lunch? Let me check my social calendar. Oh, okay, I'm free.
Dorothy: Ma, that calendar's from 1984.
Sophia: Oh, yeah, this is the day I escaped from Shady Pines. It says right here, "I'm free! I'm free!"

Quote from Sophia

Mr. Gordon: Mrs. Petrillo.
Sophia: We met before. You were having a problem with my son, Phil.
Mr. Gordon: Oh, right. The problem with the dress code.
Sophia: I still don't understand the problem. He was wearing a dress.

Quote from Rose

Mr. Gordon: Well, a lot of my ex-students were surprised that I wasn't older, but, uh, they failed to realize I started teaching right out of college. I really wasn't much older than they were.
Dorothy: Well, I- I guess when you're 17, 23 can seem rather dangerous and forbidden.
Rose: When you're 17, a cow can seem dangerous and forbidden. Am I alone here?

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