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‘There Goes the Bride: Part 2’ Quotes

The Golden Girls: There Goes the Bride: Part 2

617. There Goes the Bride: Part 2

Aired February 9, 1991

As Dorothy and Stan's second wedding approaches, Dorothy hopes to win Sophia's approval. Meanwhile, Blanche searches for a new roommate to replace Dorothy.

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: Oh, you just look so beautiful. You know, this reminds me of the day I married George. Oh, it was an exquisite wedding. 500 people in that big, old church and I didn't have any underwear on.
Dorothy: Why?
Blanche: I just felt it was the right thing to do.

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Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: Well, I hope you find somebody soon. Actually, you'll need two new tenants.
Sophia: I'm not living with you and Stan.
Dorothy: Yes, you are, Ma. I want you with us, and besides, you can't afford to live alone.
Sophia: Blanche is letting me keep my room, and I have an interview at McDonald's. If I can see over the counter, I'm their new fry girl.

Quote from Rose

Blanche: Rose, what happened?
Rose: My brakes went out, and the car wouldn't stop. My whole life flashed before my eyes. And the Nuderflaken twins played a bigger part than I had realized.
Blanche: That must've been awful.
Rose: Oh, it was. I don't know any Nuderflaken twins. The mind is a powerful thing.
Dorothy: Think of the 99% you don't use.

Quote from Blanche

Rose: Anyway, I stopped at a gas station and they were nice enough to give me a ride. Oh, by the way, Chuck says, "Yo."
Blanche: Chuck from Arco or Chuck from Shell?
Rose: Shell.
Blanche: Big Chuck from Shell or Little Chuck from Shell?
Dorothy: Blanche, I think you're spending too much time at the full-service island.

Quote from Blanche

Truby: But, hey, I'm used to it. I put three in the ground. Well, what can I tell you? I like 'em old, rich and barely breathing.
Blanche: Why don't I show you the rest of the house? Do you mind if I ask how old you are?
Truby: Oh, 'bout as old as you are.
Blanche: To lose a husband that young.

Quote from Blanche

Dorothy: Oh, when Stan and I were married, Stan was crying, I was crying, Ma was crying. All for different reasons, but if you didn't know us, it looked touching. Oh, Stan and I are getting married again. I mean, I've done this before. Why am I so nervous?
Truby: I always get nervous at weddings. Weddings and funerals. I've been to so many of both I get mixed-up. Same guest list, same flowers, handful of rice, handful of dirt. The only difference is, after the funeral it's OK to date.
Blanche: I'm beginning to like her.

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: You know, Pussycat, we never had that mother/daughter talk about sex.
Dorothy: Ma, I've had sex more years than I care to think about.
Sophia: I know. I think you're doing it wrong.

Quote from Sophia

Stan: Sophia!
Sophia: Alright, you've got a second chance. But if you hurt my daughter again, I'll make you miserable for the rest of my life. And if I lay off meat and dairy, that could be as much as five years.

Quote from Rose

Rose: Sophia, I know you're only trying to protect her. But let me tell you about a lesson I learned when I was a little girl in St. Olaf: If you hold a bird gently, the bird will stay. But if you squeeze the bird, his eyes will bug out and Mr. Pet Shop Owner gets very huffy and he won't let you touch the birds anymore. And the mice? He won't even let-

Quote from Dorothy

Stan: Listen, Marv and I were talking and you know how persuasive he can be. And he said that I should and I thought... Well, he's the lawyer, and that's what I'm paying him for. So why don't you?
Dorothy: Why don't I what?
Stan: Just sign. It's nothing big. It's a little pre-nuptial agreement that says what's yours is yours and what's mine is mine.
Dorothy: You want me to sign a pre-nuptial agreement? You want me to sign a pre-nuptial agreement? Stanley, whatever happened to openness and honesty and trust? Not to mention the 38 years that I spent as your wife, your partner, the mother of your children. The woman who held down two jobs while you were at home, staring at a matchbook, trying to draw "Winky."

Quote from Sophia

Blanche: It's late. Why didn't somebody wake me up?
Sophia: Because the last time I walked into your bedroom unannounced, some guy missed the trampoline and almost killed me.

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: Dorothy, I don't know if you recognize him without his leather apron, but this is Erroll. He's our shoe repair guy. I told him you're dying to go out with him.
Dorothy: I'm sorry you made the trip for nothing. My mother refuses to accept the fact that I am getting married in three days.
Erroll: So, uh, what are you doin' tonight?
Dorothy: Goodbye, Erroll. Ma!
Sophia: Dorothy, he's perfect for you. He knows your shoe size and he doesn't care.

Quote from Blanche

Rose: Oh, boy, I think Myra tampered with my brakes. I mean, ever since I went to dinner with her ex-husband, she's been out to get me. [phone ringing] What if that's Myra? I- [picks up] Hello? Hello? I can hear you breathing, you devil. Now, why are you doing this to me?
Blanche: Here, here, here. Just calm down. Let me handle this. Hello, this is Blanche Dever- Oh, Chuck. Yo!

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: Oh, good, you're both here. Listen, I interviewed a very sweet lady on the phone to be our roommate and she'll be here soon. So when she gets here, please pretend to be nice.
Dorothy: Well, this is good news. I mean, you've already turned down about 12 people. They're either too thin or too pretty or too young. It's like you only want to live with a woman who has no sex appeal whatsoever.
Rose: You think we're dogs, don't you? [doorbell rings, dogs barking]
Blanche: Now that's too eerie.

Quote from Rose

Truby: My husband passed just last summer.
Dorothy: Oh.
Rose: Passed what?
Dorothy: A slow-moving Winnebago, Rose.
Rose: Oh, I hate when I get stuck behind one of those.
Truby: He's dead, sweetie.

Quote from Dorothy

Caterer: OK, places! Dah-dah-dah! Duh, duh, duh-dum Dum, dum duh-dum. [to Dorothy] Remember, teeny steps. We're not Godzilla attacking the city.

Quote from Dorothy

Father Monroe: OK. Dearly beloved, we're gathered here today to join Dorothy and Stanley in blah, blah, blah, followed by rings, and into the vows.
Stan: "Dorothy, I vow to you that my love is pure."
Dorothy: "I do vow, too."
Stan: "I vow that my love is strong."
Dorothy: "I do vow, too."
Stan: "I vow that I will love no other."
Dorothy: "I do-" My God, Stanley, I feel like one of the Shirelles!

Quote from Rose

Truby: Thanks for letting me move in early. Ah, great day for a wedding. Say, who tied those dead fish to the back of the car?
Rose: It's a St. Olaf tradition. You drive until you can't stand the smell and then that's where you live. [exits]
Truby: Crazy or stupid?
Blanche: We think it's a mix.

Quote from Rose

Rose: My wedding was outdoors. February 12th. I'll never forget it. I wore the most beautiful white flannel wedding gown. It even had feet sewn in.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: Oh, Ma, I just wish you weren't against this.
Sophia: Look how pretty you look.
Dorothy: Really?
Sophia: Yeah. Beautiful. You remember the last time? We stayed up all night letting out that dress.

Quote from Sophia

Rose: What do you want, Myra?
Myra: I just came here to tell you I'm not gonna bother you anymore. You can have Ray. But you should know you're not the only young blonde bimbo in his life.
Rose: I don't want your husband. I never did.
Myra: I understand that now. I think I was just afraid of starting all over at my age. My daughter's checking me in to a lovely retirement home called Shady Pines.
Sophia: That's great. Come out to the lanai, I'll give you the lowdown on Shady Pines. You know, who does what for cigarettes.

Quote from Rose

Rose: If it's any consolation, Dorothy, I think what there was of your wedding was very beautiful. And the album won't be as bad as you think. I mean, the photographer got some great shots of your friends leaving with their gifts.

Quote from Blanche

Truby: Well, I finished unpacking. It's hard to get a life full of fun into a substitute teacher's closet.
Blanche: Truby, honey, we have to talk. I know you signed a lease, but, well, considering Dorothy's tragic misfortune.
Truby: I know, I know, but could I just stay a couple of days? I can't stand another minute in a hotel.
Blanche: I know what you mean. If I have to come up with one more fake name.

Quote from Dorothy

Sophia: Dorothy, I guess we're sleeping together tonight.
Dorothy: Ma, I have a better idea. In my suitcase there are two tickets to Aruba. I think Stan owes us a little vacation, don't you?
Sophia: Aruba! I love Aruba. Where's Aruba?
Dorothy: Come on, Ma. Get goin'. We have a plane to catch.
Blanche: Oh, I've got the very things for you to take with ya. Here, let me get that.
Dorothy: Ugh! God, this has always been my worst nightmare.
Truby: A wedding falling apart at the last minute?
Dorothy: No, going on a honeymoon with my mother.


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