TV Quotes

Dorothy: So who did you sign me up to bowl with?
Rose: Oh, I wanted to talk to you about that.
Blanche: [entering] Well, I am stunned! Just stunned! Stunned is the only way to describe how stunned I am!
Dorothy: Just a minute, just a minute, Blanche. Are you trying to tell us that you are stunned?

Dorothy: You're too busy doing what?
Sophia: Here.
Dorothy: "Will be in Miami Thursday. Hope to see you. Respectfully yours, Augustine Bagatelli." Who is Augustine Bagatelli?
Sophia: Nobody. Just a boy I knew from my village in Sicily that I was engaged to once.
Dorothy: What?
Blanche: Well, what do you know? Sophia has a past!
Sophia: That's right, but unlike yours, I didn't need penicillin to get through it.

Dorothy: You go get 'em, Blanche. Blanche? Blanche?
Blanche: I'm fine. I just feel a little cold and clammy and just a little short of breath.
Dorothy: Now you just settle down, you hear me? Settle down.
Blanche: Don't make me do this, Dorothy.This ball feels like it weighs about 100 pounds.
Dorothy: Honey, I sympathize with you. Anyone who has ever competed understands what you're going through. Listen, sweetheart, if you don't feel like bowling, you don't have to.
Blanche: Oh, good.
Dorothy: You just hold onto the ball and I'll throw you down the alley.

Rose: Oh, look, I know you're both still angry with me and you have every right to be, but I hope you can forgive me for the way I acted. Winning doesn't mean anything if it means losing your two best friends. Besides, we all bowled well this year. That's why I had all our names engraved on this trophy. In my opinion, we're all winners.
Blanche: Well, Rose. What a sweet thing to do.
Dorothy: Oh, Rose, can I ask you a question?
Rose: Sure.
Dorothy: Why is your name three times larger than ours?
Rose: Because I'm the one who actually won it. If you ever want to look at it, it'll be in my bedroom.

Dorothy: Ma, what smells so great?
Sophia: Nothing. Just a little spaghetti sauce I threw together.
Dorothy: Oh, come on. This is your special 14-hour sauce. What's the occasion?
Sophia: Nothing.
Dorothy: Oh, come on. You haven't made this sauce since Uncle Dominic married off that daughter of his. You know, the one who looks like Tony Bennett?

Dorothy: Ma, you never told me you were engaged. What happened?
Sophia: The war happened. Augustine went off to fight and I never heard from him again until today.
Rose: I wonder why he looked you up after all this time?
Sophia: Are you kidding? He was crazy about me. I was the only girl in the village who didn't want to be a nun.

Sophia: Hey, hey, hey! How do I look?
Dorothy: Like a widow in mourning.
Sophia: Perfect. He'll know I'm available.

Augustine: Sophia?
Sophia: Augustine?
Both: You shrunk!

Augustine: My condolences on your husband's passing.
Sophia: Thank you. I've been in mourning 22 years.
Augustine: My wife's been dead 31 years. Philomena Del Nero, she was from our village.
Sophia: Is she the one whose father used to stand outside of town, drink Chianti, and play with a top all day?
Augustine: Yes. He lived with us for two years after we get married. Thank God he drank himself to death.

Rose: Olga Nielsen is a terrific bowler! They could beat us!
Dorothy: There is no "us," Rose. I am not bowling with you!
Rose: Oh, Dorothy. I don't ask many favors of you, but I'm asking one now. I'm begging. Please, as a friend, be my partner. Blanche has somebody to bowl with. You want somebody to bowl with. I need somebody to bowl with. Please, just say yes and nobody will get hurt.
Dorothy: Oh all right!
Rose: Unless we don't win...