Blanche: Here. Oh, cat food.
Dorothy: Oh, Rose, have you been feeding those strays again?
Rose: I can't help it, Dorothy. I heard them howling and moaning all night. How do you ignore something like that?
Dorothy: I'm getting used to it. You know, my room's next to Blanche's.

Sophia: Boy, something smells good in here. What's for lunch?
Blanche: It's cat food, Sophia.
Sophia: Is that seafood medley?
Rose: Yes, it is.
Sophia: They used to feed that to us every Sunday at the home.
Dorothy: Ma, they did not make you eat cat food at Shady Pines.
Sophia: I didn't say they made us eat it. You had the option to go hungry.

Rose: Sophia, isn't there anything we can do to convince you to stay?
Sophia: I wish you could, but my mind's made up. My baby needs me.
Dorothy: What about me, Ma?
Sophia: You've always been able to take care of yourself. You don't need me.
Blanche: All right. What about me?
Sophia: You were always strong and independent even before I got here. You don't need me.
Rose: What about me?
Sophia: You? You need the Wizard of Oz.

Dorothy: I can't believe that Ma's really gonna go. I spent two hours trying to talk her out of it. She still insists she's leaving. I don't know what to do.
Blanche: Let me get the cheesecake, and we'll talk. [gasps] Oh, my God.
Dorothy: Blanche, what's wrong?
Blanche: Here we are in the middle of a crisis, and there's no cheesecake.
Dorothy: Didn't we buy one yesterday?
Blanche: Yes, but I found two gray hairs.
Dorothy: Blanche, you're over 50. Finding two gray hairs is no reason to eat a whole cheesecake.
Blanche: I found the two gray hairs in the cheesecake, so I threw it out.
Rose: Hi, girls. I figured this might happen, so I bought a cheesecake.
Dorothy: Oh, Rose, that's great.
Rose: What's really great is they fired that gray-haired baker who refused to wear a net.

Blanche: Hi, Rose.
Rose: Hi.
Blanche: What are you hiding behind your back?
Rose: Nothing.
Dorothy: What smells so awful?
Rose: It's a new fragrance I'm wearing.
Dorothy: I'm almost sure that I don't have to ask this, but you are aware that toilet water comes in a bottle?

Dorothy: The point I was trying to make is that we have had a lot of great late-night talks right here.
Rose: Yeah, and most of them have been about sex.
Blanche: Oh! Well, of course, we do talk about sex, but we talk about other things, too. We console each other, we help each other, we advise each other, and then we talk about sex again.

Sophia: By the way, I'm moving out tomorrow.
Dorothy: Ma, wait, come back here! What do you mean, you're moving out?
Sophia: Your brother Phil called again. This time, Big Sally left him for good. She packed up the four kids and moved to another trailer court.
Blanche: I thought they had six kids.
Sophia: Yeah, but she had to leave two behind. I think if they cross state lines, it's a parole violation.
Rose: Sophia, you mean you're moving for good?
Sophia: Not for good. I'm just gonna help him raise the kids. I'll be back as soon as they graduate from high school. Let's see. They're 14 now. That should be about ten, twelve years.

Dorothy: Ma, the four of us have lived together for a long time. How can you just walk in here and announce that you're leaving?
Sophia: Well, warden, I could make a break for it, but I'm afraid you'd shoot me going over the wall.

Sophia: Listen, girls, I love you all dearly, but I have to go where I'm needed, and Phil needs me.
Blanche: I thought you said Phil and his wife were getting along.
Sophia: Ah, they were never right for each other. She never appreciated him, never encouraged him. With the right woman behind him, he could've had a real diamond in his front tooth.

Dorothy: Ma, you always stick up for him. The fact is, he has always made the wrong choices when it came to women.
Sophia: Oh, and you've always made the right choices when it came to relationships? Need I remind the three of you of the yutz parade that's been through this house?