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‘Golden Moments’ Quotes

The Golden Girls: Golden Moments

318. Golden Moments

Aired February 13, 1988

After Sophia announces she's moving in with Dorothy's brother, Phil, the girls reminisce about the time they've spent living together. [CLIP SHOW]

Quote from Dorothy

Blanche: Hi, Rose.
Rose: Hi.
Blanche: What are you hiding behind your back?
Rose: Nothing.
Dorothy: What smells so awful?
Rose: It's a new fragrance I'm wearing.
Dorothy: I'm almost sure that I don't have to ask this, but you are aware that toilet water comes in a bottle?

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Quote from Dorothy

Blanche: Here. Oh, cat food.
Dorothy: Oh, Rose, have you been feeding those strays again?
Rose: I can't help it, Dorothy. I heard them howling and moaning all night. How do you ignore something like that?
Dorothy: I'm getting used to it. You know, my room's next to Blanche's.

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: Boy, something smells good in here. What's for lunch?
Blanche: It's cat food, Sophia.
Sophia: Is that seafood medley?
Rose: Yes, it is.
Sophia: They used to feed that to us every Sunday at the home.
Dorothy: Ma, they did not make you eat cat food at Shady Pines.
Sophia: I didn't say they made us eat it. You had the option to go hungry.

Quote from Sophia

Rose: Sophia, isn't there anything we can do to convince you to stay?
Sophia: I wish you could, but my mind's made up. My baby needs me.
Dorothy: What about me, Ma?
Sophia: You've always been able to take care of yourself. You don't need me.
Blanche: All right. What about me?
Sophia: You were always strong and independent even before I got here. You don't need me.
Rose: What about me?
Sophia: You? You need the Wizard of Oz.

Quote from Blanche

Dorothy: I can't believe that Ma's really gonna go. I spent two hours trying to talk her out of it. She still insists she's leaving. I don't know what to do.
Blanche: Let me get the cheesecake, and we'll talk. [gasps] Oh, my God.
Dorothy: Blanche, what's wrong?
Blanche: Here we are in the middle of a crisis, and there's no cheesecake.
Dorothy: Didn't we buy one yesterday?
Blanche: Yes, but I found two gray hairs.
Dorothy: Blanche, you're over 50. Finding two gray hairs is no reason to eat a whole cheesecake.
Blanche: I found the two gray hairs in the cheesecake, so I threw it out.
Rose: Hi, girls. I figured this might happen, so I bought a cheesecake.
Dorothy: Oh, Rose, that's great.
Rose: What's really great is they fired that gray-haired baker who refused to wear a net.

Quote from Blanche

Dorothy: The point I was trying to make is that we have had a lot of great late-night talks right here.
Rose: Yeah, and most of them have been about sex.
Blanche: Oh! Well, of course, we do talk about sex, but we talk about other things, too. We console each other, we help each other, we advise each other, and then we talk about sex again.

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: By the way, I'm moving out tomorrow.
Dorothy: Ma, wait, come back here! What do you mean, you're moving out?
Sophia: Your brother Phil called again. This time, Big Sally left him for good. She packed up the four kids and moved to another trailer court.
Blanche: I thought they had six kids.
Sophia: Yeah, but she had to leave two behind. I think if they cross state lines, it's a parole violation.
Rose: Sophia, you mean you're moving for good?
Sophia: Not for good. I'm just gonna help him raise the kids. I'll be back as soon as they graduate from high school. Let's see. They're 14 now. That should be about ten, twelve years.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: Ma, the four of us have lived together for a long time. How can you just walk in here and announce that you're leaving?
Sophia: Well, warden, I could make a break for it, but I'm afraid you'd shoot me going over the wall.

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: Listen, girls, I love you all dearly, but I have to go where I'm needed, and Phil needs me.
Blanche: I thought you said Phil and his wife were getting along.
Sophia: Ah, they were never right for each other. She never appreciated him, never encouraged him. With the right woman behind him, he could've had a real diamond in his front tooth.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: Ma, you always stick up for him. The fact is, he has always made the wrong choices when it came to women.
Sophia: Oh, and you've always made the right choices when it came to relationships? Need I remind the three of you of the yutz parade that's been through this house?

Quote from Sophia

Rose: Sophia, be fair. At our age, it's not easy to find the perfect man.
Blanche: Well, maybe we have all dated our share of losers, but I personally have had my share of winners, too.
Sophia: Please. You've ridden more winners than Willie Shoemaker.

Quote from Rose

Blanche: Well, let's slice this baby up and see if we can solve our Sophia problem. Here, darling.
Dorothy: Oh, do you know how many problems we have solved over a cheesecake at this kitchen table?
Rose: No, Dorothy. Exactly how many?
Dorothy: 147, Rose!

Quote from Sophia

Blanche: Well, this is unheard of. We're halfway through the cheesecake, and we haven't solved our problem.
Dorothy: Maybe we can't solve it. Maybe Ma's doing the right thing by leaving.
Sophia: Your brother is such a yutz. I just got off the phone with him and he had the nerve to ask me what I'm making for dinner tomorrow.
Rose: What'd you tell him?
Sophia: I told him he should have dinner waiting for me, not that I'm such a big fan of squirrel gumbo.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: Ma, how do you expect to live in the same house? You haven't even gotten there yet, and you're fighting.
Sophia: What, this is Little House on the Prairie? You're at each other's throats all the time. There are more fights here than at Caesar's Palace.

Quote from Sophia

Blanche: Honestly, Sophia, to hear you tell it, you'd think all we do is fight.
Sophia: Hey, I didn't say all we do is fight. We also talk about sex.
Rose: We already talked about sex.
Sophia: I'm shocked.

Quote from Sophia

Rose: See, Sophia? We have great times together.
Blanche: And it just won't be the same without you, Sophia.
Sophia: Hey, this isn't easy for me either, but I have to do what I have to do. ... What is it I have to do?
Dorothy: You're leaving.
Sophia: Then I better pack.

Quote from Dorothy

Rose: You know what I'm gonna miss about Sophia most? It's all that good advice she gives us.
Blanche: Well, I guess living all those years, she has a lot to draw on.
Dorothy: If she doesn't have anything to draw on, she just makes it up.

Quote from Sophia

Blanche: I'm not gonna stand for it. I am gonna march in there right now and tell her we need her every bit as much as that old Phil does.
Dorothy: Oh, Blanche, forget it. Her mind is made up. If she's said it once, she's said it 100 times.
Sophia: [entering] I'm staying. Good night.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: Come back. What do you mean, you're staying?
Sophia: What's the problem? You already rented my room?
Rose: What changed your mind?
Sophia: I just got off the phone with Phil. Actually, I got off the phone with Phil's wife. She's back, poor thing.
Dorothy: "Poor thing"?
Sophia: She's in a state of shock. She found out she couldn't do any better than Phil. Not exactly a storybook romance, but an ending's an ending, and there you have it.

Quote from Sophia

Blanche: Oh, we're so glad you decided to stay, honey.
Rose: Oh, Sophia, when you were leaving, we started talking about all the times we've shared.
Dorothy: It brought back a lot of great memories. Ma, it wouldn't be the same without you.
Sophia: Hey, don't over-dramatize. Things aren't so terrific around here. ... The hell they're not. Things are terrific here!


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