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‘Sisters and Other Strangers’ Quotes

The Golden Girls: Sisters and Other Strangers

521. Sisters and Other Strangers

Aired March 3, 1990

Blanche is angered when her sister Charmaine releases a book which seems to be based on her life. Meanwhile, Dorothy plays host to Stan's Czechoslovakian sister, Magda, who still supports Communism.

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: I don't see Blanche.
Rose: Oh, she said she'd be over right after her hair appointment. She wanted to look her best for Charmaine's big day.
Dorothy: Well, Blanche is handling this a lot better than I would. I would kill Gloria if she ever wrote about my sexual escapades.
Sophia: You'd kill your sister over a pamphlet?

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Quote from Rose

Rose: There was a time in my life when I wanted to leave St. Olaf. I just didn't feel it was big enough for me. I had my eye on the Great White Way. So I went to St. Gustav, the city that never naps. That first night I walked around in amazement. They had their own Fotomat! Of course, it wasn't as large as the Fotomats you see today. Now, here's the scary part. Suddenly, I realized I was this frightened little girl alone in the big city.
Dorothy: Accident, my foot!
Rose: It started to rain, and I stood there in the middle of the town square and cried.
Sophia: Gloria was the one who had to get the rabies shot.
Dorothy: I was a biter.
Rose: There I was, drenched, and someone yelled out: "Hey! Don't you have enough sense to come in out of the rain?" Well, then it hit me. And when I went home to St. Olaf, I passed on this bit of street-smart savvy. The next thing you know, in St. Olaf the in thing was coming in out of the rain. I was the town celebrity. Until the phrase "Watch out for that tractor" caught on.
Blanche: What in hell does this have to do with sisters?
Rose: Didn't I mention? St. Olaf and St. Gustav were sister cities.

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: And you remember that time Big Daddy caught us skinny-dipping with those boys?
Charmaine: And you told him it was our Bible study group "just practicing baptizing."
Blanche: Oh, it would've worked, too, if you hadn't come up screaming: "Hey, y'all, things look bigger underwater!"

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: I don't believe this. I just don't believe it.
Dorothy: Blanche, what's the matter?
Blanche: Listen to this. "Vixen stared at herself in the mirror, her pouty lips, her flaxen hair, her flawless alabaster skin. Her proud breasts seemed to be saying, 'Is it just me or is it cold in here?'"
Dorothy: So?
Blanche: Pouty, flaxen, proud? What do you need? A photograph? This book is about me!

Quote from Sophia

Charmaine: That watch is a family heirloom.
Blanche: As far as I'm concerned you're no longer family.
Charmaine: I believe you said it was in your room. Which room is that?
Sophia: Turnstile at the end of the hall.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: Oh, Ma, come here. I want you to taste this. ... Well?
Sophia: Wouldn't it be easier to put a pillow over my face while I sleep?
Dorothy: Just set the table. I'm expecting Stan and his cousin any minute.
Sophia: Oh, then this sauce is perfect. Well, maybe just a drop more disinfectant.

Quote from Sophia

Rose: There! I'm done.
Dorothy: Boy, it sure took you a long time to spell "Welcome Magda."
Rose: Oh, I thought that'd be too boring. So instead I decided to depict Magda's escape from Czechoslovakia.
Dorothy: But isn't that barbed wire?
Rose: Isn't it amazing what you can do with icing?
Dorothy: Gee, you made that pack of dogs look very realistic. But Rose, the revolution in Czechoslovakia was a peaceful one. Nobody was chased by a pack of dogs.
Sophia: [licking the icing] But they're good dogs, Rose.

Quote from Rose

Blanche: You are not gonna believe this. My sister Charmaine just called me.
Dorothy: I didn't think the two of you were speaking.
Blanche: Well, we're not.
Rose: Then how did you know it was her on the other end of the line?
Dorothy: Rose, you're bringing down the curve for the whole country.

Quote from Dorothy

Blanche: Dorothy, what am I gonna do about my sister coming? By the time she leaves Miami, she'll be more famous here than I am.
Dorothy: Honey, only if they close the Sheraton.

Quote from Blanche

Rose: Did Charmaine leave already?
Blanche: Oh, Rose, honey, what am I gonna do? After all these years of jealousy and malice we finally have a chance to be friends. But now I've got to read her book. Why, if it's a piece of junk I'll have to tell her, and that'll just kill her.
Rose: Well, look on the bright side. It could be good.
Blanche: I was looking on the bright side.

Quote from Dorothy

Dorothy: What a day.
Blanche: What's the matter? Where's Magda?
Dorothy: You mean Flora the Red Menace?
Sophia: She's helping Rose unload the car.
Blanche: Is something wrong, Dorothy?
Dorothy: I don't want to talk about it.
Sophia: Magda is driving us crazy. All she does is complain about how awful things are for an American. Everywhere we went, something bothered her. We showed her the mall-
Dorothy: She said we live in a plastic society with no soul. This was after I bought her Beef Sticks and spreadable cheese from Hickory Farms.

Quote from Rose

Magda: Rose, everywhere you look the rich take advantage of the poor. How can you deny there are inequities in this society?
Rose: Well, sure there are inequities, but at least we treat everybody the same.

Quote from Blanche

Rose: Oh, Blanche, I see you've started Charmaine's book. How is it?
Blanche: Honey, I don't know if I can get through it.
Dorothy: You mean it's not good?
Blanche: Oh, it's awful! This book is totally unbelievable. The heroine, Vixen St. James, is this shallow southern belle who's vain, self-centered, and a pushover for any man that crosses her path.
Dorothy: Yeah, she's right. That is unbelievable.

Quote from Dorothy

Magda: Too many books. Too many contradictory opinions next to each other. This leads to anarchy.
Dorothy: These books represent different ideas.
Magda: Dorothy, what's going to happen now there is freedom? The people in my country are going to read all these books and be confused. No, the way things were, we knew what to do. The choices were easy. When there is one road, no one gets lost.
Rose: Not necessarily. Back in St. Olaf, there-
Dorothy: Rose. Is this a story about getting lost?
Rose: Uh-huh.
Dorothy: Well, don't tell us. Show us.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: Ma. Ma, I don't know how much more of Magda I can stand.
Sophia: We're so close to the Bermuda Triangle, it'd be a shame for her not to see it.

Quote from Dorothy

Dorothy: You know, you really can't blame Magda. It's all this Communist ideology that's been pumped into her.
Sophia: I hate Communism.
Dorothy: Of course you hate Communism, Ma. It's because you were raised a Fascist.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: Blanche, don't you think you should talk to her? She's still your sister.
Blanche: No. My sister has turned into a deceitful old woman whose only pleasure is in hurting people. No offense, Sophia.
Sophia: None taken. Slut.

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: [singing] When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie That's amore When the world seems to shine like you've had too much wine That's amore
Dorothy: Ma, that's lovely.
Sophia: What?
Dorothy: Your singing.
Sophia: That was me? I was gonna ask you to turn off the radio.

Quote from Rose

Magda: Anyway, now I must go pack my things. And again, Rose, thank you for story.
Rose: You know, isn't life funny? Last night in bed I told myself: "Nobody listens to your stories, Rose, quit telling them." And I swore I would never tell another story as long as I lived. And then you hear something like this, and you realize these stories make a difference. Oh! You know, something sort of like that happened to Hans Fliegelfleister. [doorbell]
Sophia: I hope it's Death.
Dorothy: Get it, Rose.

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: You had no right to use me, to rip off my life for profit.
Charmaine: I wish my bank account was as big as your ego. Now, you listen, and you listen good. My book is based on my life.
Blanche: Oh, that book just drips Blanche Devereaux. Only the names have been changed to protect the satisfied.
Charmaine: You think you're the only one who wakes up to smiles and roses?
Blanche: Well, how about that inscription? How I'd inspired you more than I'll ever know?
Charmaine: Oh, I write the same thing to everybody. Just like signing yearbooks, remember? You always wrote the same thing. "You were the first."
Blanche: Wrote it, hell. I had a stamp made.


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