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‘That Was No Lady’ Quotes

The Golden Girls: That Was No Lady

114. That Was No Lady

Aired December 21, 1985

Rose and Sophia disagree with Dorothy when she starts dating an unhappily married man.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: I cannot believe how excited I am! I mean, he's practically a stranger, and I am crazy about him! I haven't felt this way about a man ever before.
Blanche: Oh, honey, you've been hit by the thunderbolt! Love at first sight! It happened to me once.
Sophia: Once? You've been hit by more lightning than the World Trade Center!
Rose: I was hit by the thunderbolt once.
Sophia: Probably a direct hit to the forehead.

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Quote from Rose

Rose: It was the first time I saw my Charlie. I was seven and he was eight. It was a hot Minnesota summer and he had put up one of those little stands on the sidewalk.
Blanche: Selling lemonade.
Rose: Insurance. And I bought a nickel policy on my red wagon. And right after that, my wagon was destroyed.
Blanche: How?
Rose: Some hogs trampled it. I was hauling home a smoked ham for Mama and I think it set them off. Anyway, that's when I fell in love with Charlie. He paid for a new wagon, even though my policy didn't cover acts of swine.
Dorothy: ... "Acts of swine."

Quote from Sophia

Blanche: Girls, I am so excited! I am finally going to do something you've heard me talk about doing for years.
Sophia: You decided to install a trapeze over your bed.

Quote from Sophia

Rose: Who was known as the world's fastest human being?
Sophia: Dominic Tansey.
Rose: It says Jesse Owens here.
Sophia: Trust me, it was Dominic Tansey. He got four women pregnant in one night. Two in New York, two in New Jersey.

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: What'll you give me for it?
Rose: Oh, I couldn't buy your car. It's not my type. I want a car that says "practical." Your car says "available."
Blanche: Well, just take off my personalized plates!

Quote from Sophia

Rose: Oh, Blanche, you remember a few days ago when I said your car was making a funny kind of a noise sometimes?
Blanche: Uh-huh.
Rose: Well, it's making it all the time now.
Blanche: It's nothing serious, I'm sure. It started making a wheezing, coughing, rattling kind of a sound every time it goes up a hill.
Sophia: Uh-oh, that's a bad sign. Those are the sounds Tony Triano made the night they wheeled him out of the home on a gurney.
Blanche: That car's in terrific condition. Sometimes it's a little hard to turn over in the morning.
Sophia: Tony Triano to a T.

Quote from Blanche

Rose: Dorothy, he's married. You have to forget him!
Dorothy: I can't just forget him!
Blanche: Rose, come on. None of us is a schoolgirl anymore. Although, quite frankly, I am sometimes mistaken for one.
Dorothy: Oh, please, Blanche.

Quote from Rose

Dorothy: What are you doing up so late?
Rose: I was hungry. I was making myself a sandwich. Do you want one?
Dorothy: No, thanks, we went out to dinner.
Rose: Oh, that's nice. So you spent the evening at dinner.
Dorothy: No, we spent dinner at dinner. We spent the evening at a motel.
Rose: A motel? Dorothy! A cheap, tawdry, bare-bulb den of iniquity?
Dorothy: We didn't drive to Sodom and Gomorrah, Rose.

Quote from Blanche

Rose: Dorothy's seeing Glen again.
Dorothy: That's right. And I don't need any advice. I can handle it.
Blanche: Dorothy, I had a third cousin who ran around with a married man for 15 years.
Dorothy: Are they still together?
Blanche: Well, they would be, but his wife shot him in the... boxer shorts. And after that, he just kind of lost interest.
Dorothy: (in unison) Lost interest.

Quote from Blanche

Rose: Evil is as evil does.
Dorothy: Oh, will you stop being so judgmental! This is a situation you know nothing about! At least Blanche has been there and she knows what I'm going through.
Blanche: Well, not exactly. Actually, I've never been with a married man.
Rose & Dorothy: Get out of here!
Blanche: No, it's true! I just never figured a relationship with a married man was worthwhile.
Rose: Good for you, Blanche.
Blanche: Oh, I'm no fool. The husband's always so guilty, he ends up giving the really expensive gifts to the wife!

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: [singing along with Walkman] Purple rain
Rose: Sophia, Sophia, where's Blanche? I have to talk to her about her car!
Sophia: Purple rain...

Quote from Blanche

Rose: Blanche, about your car. I went to the bank to get the money.
Blanche: Honey, I can't sell you that car.
Rose: But, Blanche-
Blanche: Honey, I can't sleep from all the worry and guilt I have been suffering. I wasn't totally honest with you. I told you that car was in perfect condition. Well, it's not. It's a piece of junk. It's the noisiest thing to come out of Detroit since Martha and the Vandellas. When I went to trade it in, they only offered me half the blue book price. I need the whole amount to put down on my new car, so that's why I tried to sell it to you. But I can't go through with it! I cannot sell you that car!
Rose: You can't sell it to anyone. Somebody stole it.
Sophia: What?
Rose: Somebody stole Blanche's-
Blanche: Very nice, Rose! I lend you a perfectly fine automobile, no strings attached, and you let some thief drive off in it! Rose Nylund, I will never forgive you!
Sophia: Wasn't it insured? They'll pay you full blue book.
Blanche: All is forgiven! I'm gonna go call the car dealer right now and tell him he made a sale.

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: You're home early.
Dorothy: I broke up with Glen. I told him I couldn't see him anymore.
Sophia: I'm sorry.
Dorothy: I thought you'd be happy.
Sophia: You want me to be happy? Help me put away the dishes.
Dorothy: You still angry with me?
Sophia: I was never really angry. I was worried. I don't like seeing you in pain. You still angry with me?
Dorothy: What for? For trying to stop your daughter from making a mistake?
Sophia: Somebody has to. You kids get to be middle-aged, you think you know everything!


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