Blanche: Oh, girls, I'm so sorry to be late. I ran out of gas on the way home. It was just horrible. Nobody would stop to help me. This could never have happened in the Old South. What has become of chivalry, when men used to open doors for you, pull out your chair, tip their hat, kiss your hand, help you down out of your carriage, leave calling cards on little silver salvers?
Dorothy: So how far back do you want to go, Blanche? Do you still want to be able to vote?

Rose: Don't you think it's crazy that Blanche is actually gonna marry Jamie?
Dorothy: Why? They practically grew up together. Rose, they've known each other most of their lives so it's very comfortable. He's like an old friend.
Rose: But he's her late husband's brother. I remember back in St. Olaf when Inga Engstran married her late husband's brother Lars, and the whole town was shocked. Of course, that could've been because at the time Inga was on trial for her late husband's dismemberment.
Dorothy: It was probably a factor.
Rose: The trial went on for months. Attorney's fees cost her an arm and a leg.
Sophia: Rose, get to where they steal the brain out of the dead body and sew it into your head.
Rose: So anyway, she got a suspended sentence.
Sophia: They let her go?
Rose: No, they hanged her.
Sophia: I'm going to sleep. I don't know how long I've got, but I deserve better company in my final years.

Sophia: In my village in Sicily we had a custom. If your mother-in-law died, you were forced to wear a hair shirt, eat dirt and pound your head on a rock. Anything to keep you from laughing.

Blanche: I cannot believe I ran out of gas. I checked my tank yesterday. It was half full.
Dorothy: Maybe the gauge is broken.
Sophia: It's all those foreign cars. They're unreliable.
Dorothy: Ma, Blanche drives a Buick.
Sophia: So? I'm from Sicily. To me a Buick is a foreign car.

Dorothy: You promised me you wouldn't drive alone. Ma, I can't believe you lied to me.
Sophia: Oh, come off it, Dorothy. I've been lying to you all your life. Did you ever get that yellow pony I promised you when you were six?
Dorothy: You're not taking this accident very seriously.
Sophia: No one was hurt. Besides, it was the other guy's fault. I have a witness.
Dorothy: Your witness is Mr. Panioli. He's legally blind.
Sophia: He'll say what I tell him. What's the big deal?
Dorothy: Ma, you should not be driving.
Sophia: You want to take away my license?
Dorothy: And your telephone book. It's for your own good, Ma.
Sophia: You're ruining my life.
Rose: One of us could drive you anywhere you want to go.
Sophia: Oh, sure, I really want you along on dates.
Dorothy: Ma, will you try to be reasonable?
Sophia: Sheila Patterson's daughter lets her drive.
Dorothy: I'm not Sheila Patterson's daughter.
Sophia: You can't treat me like this. I'm going to my room.

Blanche: Look, I know how I feel about you, and I flatter myself to think that you feel the same way about me. Now, I could be coy, I could drop hints, but I'm past that. Jamie, when George died I began to feel incomplete. I tried to find what was missing, I tried to find it in another man. Men. Many, many men. But it just wasn't there, and then you happened, and it was as if George had just stepped right back into my life again. I just don't want to feel that incompleteness again. Oh, just listen to me. Am I carrying on? I don't know what got into me. No, I said I was not going to be coy, and I'm not. I'm gonna say what I mean, what I feel. I'm in love with you, Jamie.
Jamie: Well, Blanche, darling I do feel something for you. I think maybe I always have.
Blanche: I knew it.
Jamie: But I don't believe it's love. Not the way you mean it. The only thing we've talked about tonight and ever since I got here is George. Now, I loved him too, I looked up to him, I tried to be just like him but I couldn't. I couldn't be him then and I can't be him now. You're in love with the memory I brought back to you.

Blanche: Oh, but I haven't told you my wonderful news. My mother-in-law died.
Rose: Oh, I'm sorry.
Blanche: Well, I'm not. I loathed Mama Devereaux, and the feeling was entirely mutual. Till the day George died, she always introduced me as his first wife. I just hope the old witch went slowly.
Dorothy: I sense the period of mourning is over.

Blanche: Oh, I just don't believe I'm about to see Jamie again. Last time I saw him was at George's funeral. 'Course, I didn't look all that good. Red is such a bad color on me.
Rose: You wore red to George's funeral?
Blanche: George liked red. I thought I looked terrible, but the pictures came out fine.

Blanche: Oh, that must be him. How do I look, girls?
Rose: Nervous.
Blanche: I am nervous. My heart's just pounding away.
Dorothy: Just take a deep breath.
Blanche: I always take a deep breath before I greet a man. It thrusts my breasts forward.

Jamie: Well, I'm glad to see you too, even if it is only for the weekend. The business with the will shouldn't take long.
Blanche: I shouldn't think so. I'd hardly expect Mama Devereaux to leave me the family silver.
Jamie: As her executor, I had to go over her will with her - the list of beneficiaries - and, well, she was pretty far gone by then, but when we got to your name, she kept repeating in this weak little voice, "I want her to have it.
I want her to have it."
Blanche: Well, I am surprised.
Jamie: She was talking about her disease.