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‘A Visit from Little Sven’ Quotes

The Golden Girls: A Visit from Little Sven

309. A Visit from Little Sven

Aired November 21, 1987

Rose is upset when her cousin Sven visits Miami and falls for Blanche ahead of his wedding.

Quote from Dorothy

Blanche: Well, maybe I made a mistake, but I don't think I did anything so terrible.
Rose: Well, I do! There is a sweet, innocent man whose heart is gonna get broken because you decided to use him in one of your petty games.
Blanche: Rose, that's only one side of it. Look at the other side. He did get to kiss me.
Dorothy: Big deal. More people get to kiss you than the Pope's ring.

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Quote from Rose

Rose: Oh, good. I got caught up at work and I barely had time to pick up a cake. I wanted to make Sven feel welcome.
Blanche: Rose, that cake is from the "Get it While it's Hot" erotic bake shop.
Dorothy: Whoa!
Blanche: Why, Rose Nylund! Why, that cake is in the shape...
Dorothy: Blanche, we know what it is.
Rose: I thought it was in the shape of Florida.

Quote from Rose

Rose: On Saturday he's flying back to St. Olaf to meet his fiancée.
Blanche: Oh, she went all alone?
Rose: No, he's never met her. It's an arranged marriage. See, little Sven's father, we call him Big Sven, left the old country two years ago and settled in St. Olaf. Then he sent for the rest of his family. First he brought his father over. We call him "Big Sven," too.
Blanche: Well, doesn't that get confusing, having two Big Svens?
Rose: There aren't, Blanche. There's Big Sven and Big Sven II. Like Jaws and Jaws II.
Dorothy: Rose, are any of your relatives named Psycho and Psycho II?

Quote from Blanche

Rose: Blanche, you have to go in there and talk to him.
Blanche: I will, I will. It's just that I'm not very good at it. I was blessed with one talent, turning men on. I've just never known how to turn them off. You tell him, Dorothy.
Dorothy: I would, Blanche, but remember, we just want to turn him off, not drain the sex drive completely out of him!

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: You know, I've always had this trouble ever since high school. I was the head cheerleader and I was dating our star quarterback, Calwell Honeycutt. Well, time came to break up but I just could not tell Calwell to his face. I couldn't bear to inflict that much grief and suffering on one man. So I finally decided that the best way to handle it was just to lead my girls in a farewell cheer. Two-four-six-eight, who will Blanche no longer date? Calwell.
Dorothy: Did he get the message, or did the band have to spell out "buzz off' at half-time?

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: Dorothy, I want a driver's license.
Dorothy: What for?
Sophia: I'm doing a lot of stuntwork in the new Burt Reynolds movie. Why do you think?
Dorothy: Come on, Ma, you haven't driven in years. Why is this coming up now?
Sophia: This morning at the center, Gladys Weinstock and I had a fight. We both claim we're natural redheads, but of course at our age we can't prove it anymore.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: Oh, all right, Ma, we'll give it a try. But, Ma, if anything goes wrong we stop.
Sophia: Relax. There are some things you never forget. Driving a car is like making love. In both cases, a mirror makes objects appear larger than they really are.

Quote from Blanche

Dorothy: I don't know, it seems so unfair to me, an arranged marriage.
Rose: Oh, I don't know, Dorothy. I think it can be fun.
Blanche: George and I had that kind of marriage. George would dress up as a ghost and chase me around the house with one of those little fly swatters. Then when he caught me, he'd...
Dorothy: Blanche, I'm talking about arranged marriages not deranged marriages.

Quote from Rose

Rose: Good morning, girls. I didn't sleep a wink last night worrying about Blanche and Sven.
Dorothy: Rose, this is between the two of them.
Rose: No, it isn't. I'm supposed to get Sven on a plane today. That's why I called big Sven early this morning to ask him what to do. I knew he'd be up, he gets up with the cows. I know he gets up with the cows because he sleeps with the cows.

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: Oh, Dorothy, I'm just so angry! Floyd McCallan just called me one hour before he's supposed to pick me up in his brand new two-tone Mercedes. He's canceled our date for tonight!
Dorothy: Well, he probably had a good reason.
Blanche: He said he had to go visit his sick mother in the hospital. Did you ever hear such a weak excuse?
Dorothy: And his mother isn't in the hospital.
Blanche: Well, of course she is, but he can visit her anytime. He can only see me tonight.

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: That reminds me, I've got to give Charlie Milburne a call.
Dorothy: If this cake reminds you of Charlie Milburne, we could both give him a call.

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: Rose tells us you're getting married.
Sven: Yes, and I hope I'm good at it. I don't have that much experience with women.
Blanche: A big, strong, handsome thing like you? Get out of here.
Sven: Well, it was nice meeting all of you. [exits]
Rose: Oh, that was an expression! Sven!
Blanche: You know, I never thought I'd say this but I think Rose got the brains in that family.

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: Meet me out front, Dorothy. I'm gonna pull the car around.
Dorothy: Ma, hold it. Hold it. I told you last night, we don't do any driving until we've gone over all the rules in the driving manual.
Sophia: What's to go over?
Dorothy: "How much distance should there be between you and a fire hydrant?"
Sophia: What am I, a poodle?

Quote from Sophia

Rose: Sven, I have some bad news.
Sven: Is it bad news?
Rose: Yes, it's bad.
Sophia: Were you two the cousins who play the banjo in Deliverance?

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: I am never getting into a car with you again. Ever.
Sophia: I can't believe you're being such a wimp.
Dorothy: Ma, you went through the stop sign, you hit a mailbox, you almost ran over Mrs. Burlfine!
Sophia: Please, the woman's already in a wheelchair. How much more damage could I do

Quote from Rose

Dorothy: Rose, everything okay down at the counseling center?
Rose: Yes, finally. We had a manic depressive overload. Luckily Dr. Ferguson had heard some new knock-knock jokes and that seemed to do the trick.
Dorothy: [chuckling] Knock-knock?
Rose: Who's there?
Dorothy: Oh, shut up, Rose!

Quote from Dorothy

Dorothy: You know, I once made the same mistake myself. I was dating a guy my parents could not stand. He used to come over to the house during Sunday dinner, help himself to some food, take it into the living room, turn on one of those radio countdown shows and belch to the music. Well, finally my mother told me that I just had to break it off and of course I knew she was right. So I rehearsed my speech and I made arrangements to meet him at a coffee shop. Oh, I got there five minutes early and caught him necking with a waitress.
Blanche: Oh!
Rose: Well, that must've made it easier.
Dorothy: No, I still could not do it.
Blanche: Dorothy, how long had you been together with this guy?
Dorothy: Thirty-eight years.
Rose: That was Stan?
Dorothy: And you know, to this day, he can belch out the chorus to Sweet Georgia Brown on one Dr. Pepper.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: A driver's license? Ma, how did you get this?
Sophia: Hard work and determination. If you put your mind to it, you can do anything.
Dorothy: Look, Ma, I absolutely forbid you to drive a car.
Sophia: Ooh, look, Dorothy, I'm shaking.
Dorothy: Ma, I mean it!
Sophia: Lighten up. I told you before, I only want a license to have, not to use. It's a symbol of my freedom, my independence. Now give me 50 dollars.
Dorothy: What for?
Sophia: A guy named Paco who makes these babies up in his garage.

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: The point is for the second time in two days I have been thrown over for a younger woman. I can't- I can't compete anymore.
Dorothy: Oh, honey, of course you can.
Rose: Well, you just have to compete in a different way, like, with intelligence and charm.
Blanche: I don't know those ways, Rose, and I'm too old to learn. I'm over the hill, that's all there is to it. [phone rings] I guess I'm just in the same boat as the two of you. [answering phone] Hello? Yes. [giggles] All right. Goodbye. What do you know. Floyd McCallan is taking me sailing today. I guess you two are in the same boat. I'm in the yacht.
Rose: What's this boat she keeps talking about?
Dorothy: Don't worry, Rose. You missed it.


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