[flashback:]
Rose: Let me give you a little friendly advice. You're wasting your time. 'Cause that thousand dollar prize is gonna be mine. When I was younger, I was known as the dancing fool.
Dorothy: How old were you when they dropped the "dancing" part?

[flashback:]
Dorothy: You know what your problem is? You can't stand a little competition. which is why you tried to keep this a secret.
Blanche: Well, I notice you're here too, Dorothy. So you tried to keep it a secret from me.
Rose: Hi, girls.
Dorothy: Et tu, Judas?
Rose: No, it's me, Rose.

[flashback:]
Blanche: Who on earth could that be at 3 o'clock in the morning?
Dorothy: Maybe it's a Jehovah's Witness with a caffeine problem.

[flashback:]
Rose: Maybe we should have a weapon.
Sophia: Please, the three of you without make up is enough to scare anyone.

Sophia: Don't say no, just hear me out. Do you think I'm cute?
Dorothy: Oh, Ma.
Sophia: Just answer.
Dorothy: Yes, Ma, I think you're cute.
Sophia: Would you say cute verging on adorable?
Blanche: Sophia, what's this all about?
Sophia: Just picture my face on this jar filled with my tomato sauce. We could put Paul Newman out of business.
Dorothy: Ma, if you had your choice of a spaghetti sauce with your picture on it or Paul Newman's picture on it, which would you choose?
Sophia: Back to square one.

Dorothy: Hi, Rose.
Blanche: We brought dinner.
Rose: What'd you get?
Dorothy: A bucket of chicken. I hope you like it extra flat and crispy.
Blanche: It's a pizza, Rose.
Rose: I knew that, I just meant what kind?
Blanche: Did you really know that, Rose?
Rose: No. But I thought I could cover.

Sophia: I'm glad you're all here. I want you to try something. Here, taste this. What do you think?
Blanche: It's water.
Sophia: I didn't ask you to identify it, I asked you what you thought.
Rose: It's good.
Sophia: Just good?
Dorothy: Very good.
Sophia: How would you describe the taste?
Blanche: Refreshing, clear, clean.
Sophia: Would you buy this water?
Rose: Sure, why not?
Dorothy: Absolutely.
Sophia: We're rich. We're rich. It comes from the hose out back. Move over Perrier, Petrillo water is on the way.
Dorothy: Ma.
Sophia: I know what you're gonna say. Another one of my get-rich-quick schemes. This is different. I've been working on this since noon.

[flashback:]
Dorothy: Girls, this time I think we have really hit the jackpot.
Blanche: Oh, me too. This wedding consulting business is the smartest thing we've ever done.
Rose: I don't know. I'm a little nervous about tomorrow. I've never cooked for 300 people.
Sophia: Please, in Sicily, we did it all the time. And we didn't have the modern conveniences you have today. We had to slaughter our own meat, prepare our own seasonings, and, if the food wasn't perfect, after cappuccino, they shot the cook.
Dorothy: Ma, you're making that up.
Sophia: No, I'm not. Why do you think there are only two guys from Italy?

[flashback:]
Sophia: Listen. Be grateful he got it out of his system before the marriage. It'll give you something to make him feel guilty about. Most women go through three, four years of marriage for ammunition like that.

Blanche: But that wasn't a scheme, Sophia, that was a legitimate business.
Sophia: And we lost our shirts. That's the beauty of this water thing. You can't lose. It's a rip off, pure and simple. That's why the French were the first ones to come up with it.