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‘Long Day's Journey into Marinara’ Quotes

The Golden Girls: Long Day's Journey into Marinara

219. Long Day's Journey into Marinara

Aired February 21, 1987

When Sophia's sister, Angela, moves to Miami, the pair struggle to live under the same roof. Meanwhile, Rose takes care of a musical chicken.

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: This is no coincidence. Everything I have, you try to steal. May the bags under your eyes grow so large your head falls in 'em.
Angela: May your shampoo get mixed up with your Preparation H and shrink your head to the size of mushroom.

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Quote from Sophia

Sophia: May the hair on your lip grow in the opposite direction and get tangled in the hair coming down from your nose.
Angela: May you take a diuretic and not be able to get your pantyhose off.

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: What is happening between Sophia and Angela is not unlike an incident which occurred between my sister Virginia and me when we were in high school. Now, can you believe that one's very own sister could seduce her sibling's boyfriend on the eve of that sibling's senior prom?
Dorothy: Virginia did that to you?
Blanche: No, I did that to Virginia. She deserved it. She borrowed my saddle shoes without asking. Well, what are you looking at? She scuffed those shoes. I hardly left a mark on that boy.

Quote from Sophia

Blanche: You really like Tony a lot, don't you, Sophia?
Sophia: Why shouldn't I? He's the best catch in town. He's got his own hair, his own teeth and a totally unrestricted driver's license. Hey, at my age, that's like dating Tom Cruise.

Quote from Rose

Rose: Oh, I always get tired after a long trip. I remember one time Daddy took the whole family cross state on our tractor to visit Great-grandfather Zingbarten. Great-grandpa Ziggy was a famous inventor. He developed the first - and to my knowledge, the only- low-voltage meter to detect what kind of center pieces of candy had. Anyway, we were just a few miles out...
Angela: You know, I am a little tired. I think I will lie down.
Blanche: I'm tired myself.
Dorothy: Me, too.
Sophia: I'm exhausted.
Rose: Fine, but I'm warning you all right now, I'm telling the rest of that story as soon as you get up.
[Dorothy, Blanche, Sophia and Angela walk back into the room]

Quote from Rose

Dorothy: Rose, is this another one of those Scandinavian Viking concoctions?
Rose: Yes. It's called gnurchen-frurgen cake. It's an ancient recipe, but I Americanised it.
Dorothy: Yeah, so one might say you brought geflirchen-nirchen into the '80s?
Rose: Yes, but I'm not one to blow my own verturgen-furgen.
Sophia: I can't even reach mine.

Quote from Blanche

Dorothy: Gosh. Wasn't that story about the heart transplant amazing?
Blanche: Oh, I wasn't paying attention. I was fantasizing about what Tom Brokaw looks like naked.
Dorothy: He must have sensed it. I thought I saw him looking down your blouse.

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: Look, Dorothy. We won the dance contest at the Sons Of Italy bar.
Blanche: Oh, that's fantastic.
Dorothy: I had no idea you were such a good dancer.
Sophia: In the over-80s category you don't have to be. We were the only couple who could do the mambo without a walker.

Quote from Rose

Rose: Please, just hear me out. Now, you've heard me speak about Sylvia Butell down at the grief center. This is her chicken.
Blanche: Sylvia Butell? Isn't she the woman who thought Milton Berle was sending her secret messages through her dentures?
Rose: Yes, but with extensive counselling and some new bridgework, she's totally back to normal.
Dorothy: Rose, the woman keeps a chicken in her house. How normal can she be?
Rose: I kept a chicken in my home.
Dorothy: You see my point?

Quote from Rose

Blanche: I will not have that filthy beast in my house. It belongs in a barnyard.
Rose: This is not a farm chicken. Count Bessie is a showbiz chicken. Wait till you see this. [exits]
Blanche: A showbiz chicken? What does she do, play the piano?
Rose: [enters] She plays the piano! You just wait until you see this.

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: Dorothy, sometimes I get confused. I want to make sure I have this absolutely right. Rose works in a place where they help people with mental problems?
Dorothy: That's right, Ma.
Sophia: Anybody know how to get in touch with Morley Safer?

Quote from Dorothy

Dorothy: Aunt Angela.
Angela: No, Sophia Loren. I stopped using Oil of Olay.

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: What's wrong?
Angela: Nothing.
Sophia: You travelled 5,000 miles from Sicily for nothing? I know what it is. The Valducci-Petrillo vendetta is still on. Dorothy, go out buy a dozen mattresses, thirty pounds of pasta, and some aluminium foil for the windows.
Angela: There is no vendetta. There's not even a Valducci family anymore. They all ate some sausages that they shouldn't have at their last family picnic and they all died.
Blanche: Food poisoning?
Angela: No, they stole the sausage from the Calabresi family.

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: Angela, that was the best meal I've ever had in my entire life.
Angela: Well, how good could it have been? You left half of it.
Blanche: I ate every bite.
Angela: There's some sauce left. If you really like it, you'd take a hunk of that bread and use it to sop it all up. You can afford it.
Blanche: Oh, no I can't. I've put on a few pounds. You just haven't noticed.
Angela: What am I blind? I can see that. I meant the bread. You can afford the bread. It's only 89 cents a loaf.

Quote from Sophia

Blanche: So, Sophia, have you all had a chance to catch up on old times?
Sophia: Yeah, Angela filled me in on how all my friends and family back home are doing.
Dorothy: How is everybody, Angela?
Angela: Dead.
Sophia: Angela and I are the only two left of the original family.
Rose: That's terrible, Angela. Does that mean you're all alone back in Sicily?
Angela: Oh, no, I have a goat. Actually, I lead a very full life. I get up in the morning, milk the goat, go to a funeral, come back, feed the goat. Then I drink a bottle of Chianti and I pass out.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: It's really a shame you and Ma don't live closer to each other.
Sophia: Dorothy is right. How many years do we have left? Twenty, thirty? We should live in the same town.
Angela: You want to come back to that little village in Sicily?
Sophia: Please, do I look like a woman who beats her laundry on a rock? I meant you should move here, to Miami.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: Aunt Angela, what do you say?
Angela: Oh, I don't know. I'm too old to pick up and move to a strange country.
Sophia: What are you talking about? Before your husband died, you lived here for 30 years.
Angela: I don't know.
Dorothy: Oh, come on, honey, now just think about it. Who would you rather live with? Your sister or a goat?
Angela: Give me a minute.

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: What business did you have inviting my sister to live here?
Dorothy: Ma, what are you talking about? You're the one who invited her to live in Miami.
Sophia: Yeah, Miami the city, not Miami my house.
Dorothy: Am I missing something?
Sophia: You don't know Angela like I do. All my life, she always wanted whatever I had. Even if she didn't want it. She'll live here a while, see how nice I have it, and she'll try to muscle in. Oh, come on, Ma. I think you're overreacting.
Dorothy: Aunt Angela, where are you going?
Angela: I'm going to tape my name on the mailbox. After all, I live here now.
Sophia: Any more bright ideas, linguini-for-brains?

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: Maledizione, maledizione.
Dorothy: Oh, Ma, what's wrong now?
Sophia: Living with Angela has been a nightmare. I don't think she's ever going to leave.
Dorothy: What has she done now?
Sophia: She used up my entire bottle of Porcelana. Look at all these liver spots. I've got more brown skin than the Temptations.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: I wish you'd at least try to get along with her.
Sophia: I have tried. Did I complain about sharing my bed with her?
Dorothy: Yes.
Sophia: Did I complain when she used my Polygrip to fix the heel on her shoe?
Dorothy: Yes.
Sophia: Did I complain when she ruined your sweater when she washed it in a ditch out back?
Dorothy: She ruined my sweater?
Sophia: Oh, maybe I shouldn't have said anything.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: Oh, hi, Aunt Angela, how was the apartment?
Blanche: She liked it very much.
Angela: Well, what's not to like? Some lovely people live there. It's close to the beach. And it's within my price range.
Dorothy: So are you going to take it?
Angela: Well, it's kind of small and there's not enough light.
Angela & Sophia: And there's no room for a goat.

Quote from Dorothy

Dorothy: Boy, this chicken looks great.
Rose: Girls. Girls, Count Bessie is missing. I went out to the garage to feed her and her cage was empty. Where could she be?
[After a moment of stunned silence:]
Dorothy: ... Uh, Aunt Angela. Where did you get this chicken?
Angela: The garage.
Blanche: I guess this means no live entertainment with dessert.

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: Rose. Honey, you've got to stop torturing yourself like this. Now, Count Bessie is gone.
Rose: I know. It's just such a tragedy. Who cooks a musician at the height of her career?
Blanche: Rose, you've got to put this in perspective. Count Bessie was a chicken. It's not as if Angela had fried up Doc Severinsen.

Quote from Blanche

Dorothy: Rose, honey, think of the positive things. Now, Count Bessie accomplished more in a few years on this earth than most chickens do in a lifetime. [to Blanche] Give me a break. I'm making this up as I go along. [to Rose] Above all else, that chicken was a great entertainer. And a great entertainer deserves to be remembered in a special way.
Blanche: Yeah. Like with a roast at the Friars Club. [laughing] I was only kidding.
Dorothy: Honey, it was just a joke.
Blanche: And a pretty darn good one.

Quote from Rose

Angela: Rose, what have you got there?
Rose: Exhibit A.
Angela: You know, I like Rose. But when a woman throws herself on a platter of chicken and screams "murderer", she's not playing with a full set of bocce balls. I'm getting out of here just in time.

Quote from Dorothy

Dorothy: You found an apartment?
Angela: Yeah. I went down to the Senior Citizens' Center this morning for the early bird special. You know, decaf coffee, sodium-free bacon and a chest x-ray. On the bulletin board, I saw some advertisements for roommates, so I picked out a few places and I found one I liked.

Quote from Dorothy

[As Rose plays the chicken's little piano with her nose:]
Rose: Hi, Dorothy.
Dorothy: Hi, Rose. Rose, do you know offhand if 911 is the right number to call for a straitjacket?
Rose: Dorothy, I can explain.
Dorothy: I know you can. That's the scary part.
Rose: You don't understand. When Mrs. Butell finds out about Count Bessie, she'll be devastated. There'll be a terrible void in her life. A void that only another musical chicken can fill.
Dorothy: Look, Rose, if you're worried about voids, start with the one in your head.
Rose: Oh, Dorothy, do you believe it? Four chickens and not one of them has any musical ability.
Dorothy: It's a sad commentary, Rose. All the young chickens are wasting their time playing video games.

Quote from Dorothy

Dorothy: Ma thinks that Angela tried to steal her boyfriend.
Blanche: And you don't?
Dorothy: Of course not.
Blanche: Don't be so sure, Dorothy. Angela and Sophia are sisters. Sisters have a natural adversarial relationship.
Rose: That's 'cause it's genetic. It has to do with the double helix of the DNA molecule.
Dorothy: What?
Rose: It's true. I saw it on television. Peter Marshall played this microbiologist on The Love Boat and he was conducting sinister experiments on the Landers sisters.
Dorothy: My apologies, Rose. For a moment there, I didn't think it had been documented.

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: I'll see you later. I'm going over to Tony's.
Dorothy: For lunch?
Sophia: No. I just called him. He was in bed. I heard female laughter in the background. It was Angela. They're sleeping together, just like I suspected. I'm going over there to kill her. I'll be back in time for Wheel Of Fortune.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: So the two of just started hitting him with your purses?
Sophia: Hey, he was cheating on me.
Angela: He got off easy. Back in Sicily, if Uncle Bruno had heard about this, boy would he have been in hot water.
Blanche: Ooh, what would Uncle Bruno have done to him?
Sophia: You hard of hearing? She just told you. He would have put him in hot water.

Quote from Sophia

Rose: My God, it can't be. It is. Count Bessie.
Dorothy: Angela, that chicken that you cooked the other night, didn't you say you got it out of the garage?
Angela: Yes, right.
Blanche: You mean out of a cage?
Angela: No, out of the freezer. You think I know how to kill a live chicken? Who do I look like, Conan the Barbarian?

Quote from Dorothy

Blanche: Can I make y'all some lunch?
Dorothy: Sure. What are you fixing?
Blanche: Fruit salad.
Rose: That sounds good. I'll go get Sophia.
Blanche: Oh, no. Don't bother. She has no appetite since she was stabbed in the back.
Rose: Oh, my God. Who stabbed Sophia?
Dorothy: The chef at Benihana, Rose! Angela.


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